Whatever She Needs
by EurotrashGirl
Summary: Seth is forced to deal with both the loss of his father and becoming a werewolf, and Fate decides to add one more complication to his life. When the legends turn out to be different than he thought how does he deal with them on his own? First ff. go easy
1. Chapter 1

As I began my second loop around the eastern part of La Push I reflected on how this had to be the worst week of my life. I'm not trying to be melodramatic, but it's been one of those "when it rains, it pours" kind of weeks, and I feel like I've got my own little rain cloud following me.

It started out with me feeling sick, flu-like, achy, high fever, the works. My dad had told me to lie down and just sweat it out. Sweat was something I was sure I could do. I felt like I was burning up. Then Leah starts coming down with it, too. Next thing I know, Sam Uley, who I had alternately referred to in the privacy of my own mind as "the creepy cult leader of La Push" and "that asshole who broke my sister's heart" was leaning over my sick bed looking at me like I was some sort of monster to his Doctor Frankenstein.

That was all it took. I busted out of my skin and next thing I knew I was an enormous sandy-coloured wolf and there were snarls where my words should have been. "Sick" Leah staggered into the room to find out what all the commotion was, laid eyes on my oversized wolf form staring down her slimy ex-boyfriend and burst out into her own wolf- the first female wolf ever in the long history of the Quileutte tribe.

Upon seeing her unexpected transformation, my father was so shocked he had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. Leah and I both were so freaked out by both phasing into wolves for the first time and by our dad's sudden medical condition that neither one of us could calm down enough for us to phase back human. Neither one of us could accompany our mother on the ride to the hospital where she sat for hours only to hear the news that our dad didn't pull through.

Leah's emotions were a complete cluster-fuck. It was one thing to be suddenly dumped by the man you loved for your cousin, which really sucked. It was another thing entirely to be forced to share brain space with said ex-boyfriend where the imprinting compulsion warranted that sweet cousin Emily took up 98% of his waking wolfy thoughts. For Leah, it was excruciating, even more so when she realized that Sam in fact does still love her, but that his love for Leah really doesn't matter when it compares to what the mystical Fates pushed on us by our Wolf Ancestors. It would appear that to a werewolf, sometimes love just isn't enough.

On top of the pain of having to share a mind with Sam, Leah was also beginning to blame herself for our dad's heart attack. She was convinced that it was seeing her that had ended his life. Maybe that was true, but it's not like Leah chose this life. It was our dad's fucked up blood line that made us this way in the first place, well that and those damned leeches. It was all shades of fucked up realizing that all the stories are true. And there were all fucking scary as hell.

The upside to this mess is gaining a new set of brothers through the pack. I'd always been a bit of a loner. Most of the guys were into cars and football. I surfed. It might sound cheesy or zen, but surfing made me feel centered and a part of something bigger than myself. It was just about me and the waves. I could think or zone out and just be. Getting used to the noise of seven other people in my head was something that would take some time, but having a group of brothers was actually kind of cool. Being the youngest sucks, and some of the guys are new to me, but I've always gotten to hang out with Jacob a bit since our dad's are so close. _Were_ so close. It will never feel right to think of my dad in the past tense.

Jacob had always been sort of like a cooler older brother to me, someone who didn't mind me hanging around even if I was a little younger. He treated me like one of the guys, and I tried to rein in my more immature qualities without seeming like I was trying too hard to be cool. Even when our families had all been together and he was hanging out with Bella Swan, his best friend and dream-girl extraordinaire, he still found time to talk to me which was very cool. Bella's dad, Charlie had been the third musketeer when it came to our dad's fishing trips and other old guy escapades. It was no surprise how Bella just seemed to fit here with us, pale-face or not. Her dad was good people, and she seemed to be a lot like him. Being really hot didn't hurt her case either. I could totally understand why Jacob had been in love with the girl since diapers. Too bad she didn't have a younger sister because I would have been all over that one. Add to that the fact that Bella wasn't scared of anything.

When I saw through the pack's mind connection how Bella had knowingly dated a vampire and become a member of their family, only to be completely abandoned by said vampire family and adopted into a werewolf pack, Bella's cool factor skyrocketed in my book. She was like the fucking supernatural pied piper or something. Except in that story none of the rats were trying to kill the pied piper, unlike with Bella who was still being stalked by a psychopathic red-headed leech who was hell-bent on avenging her lost mate. That part was down-right disturbing. I noticed during the time of my first phase when I was having trouble calming down enough to go human again that a lot of the pack's thoughts seemed to revolve around Bella in some form or another. She was a tiny slip of a thing and had been jerked around enough by those leeches to make the whole pack protective of her.

Jacob of course was completely obsessed with her to the point where other pack members wondered if he hadn't somehow partially imprinted on her. Screw the imprint! After what it did to my sister I am not a huge fan of the whole phenomenon. If Jacob loves her, he loves her. The imprint shouldn't mean a thing. I watched through my wolf-o-vision as Jacob remembered pulling a nearly drowned Bella from stormy ocean waters while Victoria swam dangerously nearby.

I had been so busy being trapped in my wolf form and waiting for news on my dad at the time that I had missed the best surf to hit our shores in the past two years. It seems bad to think about missing surfing when my dad was dying, but he understood how I felt a part of nature when I surfed and considered it my way of expressing my native heritage and connecting with the greater spirit world. He encouraged me in my choice of hobbies and helped me learn to earn money to pay for whatever gear I needed by tooling leather in the traditional methods of our tribe. Selling the leather cuffs, belts and other pieces that sold at crafts fairs or were commissioned by people on the rez gave me enough spending money to do what I wanted. And what I wanted was to surf.

Thinking about surf brought my thoughts back to Bella and how if I had been in the water that day when she jumped from the cliff, I probably would have been able to pull her out safely. Maybe she wouldn't have come so close to drowning. Maybe she wouldn't have felt so guilty when Jacob told her that my dad was in the hospital and Leah and I had joined the pack.

"Seth!" called Paul's irritated voice in my head. We were on patrol together and obviously my inner monolog had finally become too much for him. "Shut the hell up about Bella. Damn it, if I have to hear you thinking about her non-stop like Jacob does I'm going to fucking put all of you out of your misery. Just because Jacob is your hero it doesn't mean you have to be in love with his leech-loving non girlfriend, too."

"I'm not in love with Bella. I just think she's a cool girl." I responded to him mentally. _And really hot, _I added to myself._ "_And Jacob is _not _my hero." I corrected. _My dad was._


	2. Chapter 2

Previously: "I'm not in love with Bella. I just think she's a cool girl." I responded to him mentally. _And really hot, _I added to myself._ "_And Jacob is _not _my hero." I corrected. _My dad was._

Seth- Ch2

I felt the telltale shimmer of someone phasing in and heard Sam's voice in my head. "Head back home, Seth. It's time for you to get dressed for…. Well, you know." He trailed off and then was gone again. Sam really wasn't my favorite person, but I'd learned that I'm actually really good at keeping my thoughts to myself. I resented that Sam, the person who crushed my sister, was our tribal leader and the person responsible for making arrangements for my dad's funeral. I resented that his own father was such an irresponsible dick that

Sam had no concept of how much Leah and I had lost this week. Sure, he was trying, but he couldn't begin to imagine losing a father when he'd never had one himself. His dad didn't teach him to turn a plain piece of leather into a work of art. His dad didn't hold the back of his bicycle until he could ride on his own. His dad didn't teach him how to surf in the icy pacific in the early mornings on a hand-made long board with tribal emblems carved into the top.

I had reached the woods behind my house and phased human, pulling on my cut-off jeans and walked slowly toward the house to put on something decent. I wasn't looking forward to this bit of ceremony. In my own way I had come to peace with the fact that my father had passed into the spirit world. I'm no yogi, but I believe we all go when it is our time and my dad had instilled in me that death was nothing to fear, but a part of the cycle of life and birth. I missed him, but the funeral was a social convention that wasn't for me. I didn't know how I should react to mourners whose loss was so less than mine and their show of tears so much greater. I just hoped to stand with my mom and Leah and endure it with a strength and peace that would make my dad proud. I dressed and headed to my designated spot behind my mother where I tried to tune out what was going on around me.

I briefly registered that nearly the whole tribe had shown up as well as the pack. Charlie Swan sat with Billy Black and the two had fierce but grave expressions. They were determined to hold it together. I thought back to the last gathering I'd been at with the both of those men. It was an impromptu spaghetti dinner at the Black's tiny house and the first night I'd met Bella Swan. I'd eagerly pulled a chair up near her and Jacob and he'd introduced us. Her smile had been kind and shy and I felt a tingle when I took her small hand in my own and shook it. I recalled her soft voice as she asked if I was interested in cars like Jacob and the other boys. I figured she probably meant Embry and Quil. "Nah." Jacob answered for me. "Seth here is our local surfer boy. Hang ten and all that crap." He said with a smile. Bella smiled too. It lit up her entire face. "If I weren't such a mess standing on my own two feet I think I'd enjoy surfing. I always felt a little more graceful in the water than on land." She added almost to herself.

"I could teach you." I piped up, over-eager to talk to anyone who might possibly share my interest, particularly if that person was a pretty girl.

Jacob had laughed at that, honestly belly-laughed. Bella's face was twisted somewhere between annoyance and good-natured humor as he enjoyed the joke at her expense. "Come on Bells! You have to admit that for someone who can barely walk across a flat surface without ending up in the hospital, surfing would be a death wish. If you ever managed to get up on the board in the first place you'd probably impale yourself on it when you fell off a half second later. That is, if you didn't drown while paddling out!" He laughed again and she joined in, but her smile was an embarrassed, self-depreciating one that hinted at having her feelings hurt.

"Everyone falls when they surf, Bella. Only the determined get up and keep trying until they get it. Then they never look back. There's not a better feeling in the world." I told her honestly.

"Jake's probably right." She said softly. "I'm better off swimming laps at the Y."

My mind was jerked back to the present as Leah's hold on my hand tightened uncomfortably. I knew that this part of the funeral ceremony was coming to an end. We would head back to our house where we would be inundated with well-wishers and people telling us they were sorry, and how great my dad was- as if we didn't know that already.

I managed to make it home in auto-pilot zombie mode and nod my head at the appropriate times, never really looking or meeting anyone's eye. I felt and barely registered the differences in body temperature as pack and non-pack brushed by me or placed a hand on my shoulder. By now what I really needed was my bed or some other place where I could be alone and not pretend or be polite or be strong. I just wanted to be. Surfing sounded good to me and would probably calm my mind, but would probably be considered irreverent by the tribal elders given the situation. I would have to endure.

Across the room I had seen Jacob looking at me over the top of Bella's head and then looking back down at her face. He glanced between us warily as if they were in some sort of discussion. I let my eyes scan the room once more without really seeing, hoping for an easy escape. And then I felt a small pressure on my hand and was being led through the crowd. Again, on autopilot I felt like I was following a ghost as we slid between bodies, through doors. I was unseeing.

Once we cleared the porch and began to head toward the woods between my house and the Black's place it dawned on me that I had no idea who was leading me and where we were going. The back of the small figure silhouetted in the twilight ahead of me could only belong to Bella. I was beginning to worry. I was newly turned werewolf and going through something fairly traumatic. Being alone with Jacob's almost girlfriend was probably something I was not allowed to do. And I had to wonder what the heck she was thinking. Then again, her safety never seemed to be one of her top concerns.

Bella led me just inside the tree line to a place I had not thought of in years I realized, as she began to climb a rope ladder. Once I reached the top behind her, I found Bella pacing the floor staring at her shoes. She twisted her fingers and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

Finally she steeled herself and began talking, still afraid to meet my eyes. She took a deep breath and began to talk in a low, small voice.

"When Jacob's mom died I was almost eight and he was six. The night of the funeral he ran away and everyone went crazy looking for him. I found him up here in the tree house and brought him stacks of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We stayed up here all night and I finally convinced Jacob that he had to come home that next morning because Billy was scared something bad had happened." She smiled a little to herself as she remembered. "That was really when I knew Jake was my best friend," she said. "He only would have come down for me, Billy said."

I waited for her to make her point. "I brought you here because I wanted to apologize without the pack worrying that you would phase and hurt me. I wanted to be able to speak my mind without them cutting me off and saying it isn't my fault." Her voice grew stronger with her conviction and her words began to spill over. Verbal vomit.

"I'm so sorry Seth. I'm sorry that this has happened to you because of me. I'm sorry that I got involved with vampires and brought Victoria here so close to your tribe and home." I heard the faint sound of Bella's tears hitting the floor of the tree house as she continued talking. I could only imagine what it cost Bella to say this to me. As far as I knew she still couldn't think of the Cullens without breaking down.

"I'm sorry that my being here has made you go wolf and grow up so fast. It's my fault that Victoria was here and you and Leah phased. It's my fault that your dad died and I wanted you to know that I will do anything I can to help you even though nothing I could ever do would be enough." Bella gulped a lungful of air now that her speech was done and I felt my heart break for her. I couldn't doubt her sincerity or the fact that she truly _believed_ that she was the one responsible for this fucked-up domino effect. But what the hell do you say to that. I couldn't convince her that it wasn't her fault without minimizing her feelings and sounding like I was giving her the brush-off. Then again, it was wrong to let Bella shoulder the blame for the freakish supernatural abilities of me and the pack. So I did what I did best. I made peace and compromised between the two extremes.

"Bella," I said. Her eyes were glued to the floor. "The Cullens were here for years before you moved here. Sam phased _before_ you moved here. There was a chain of events set in motion that had nothing at all to do with you and everything to do with those bloodsuckers." My voice was earnest. I was pleading with her to believe me.

"No one blames you." I said. Bella chuckled darkly at that, scrubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Okay, well maybe Leah, but only because she's trying not to blame herself. Bella, please believe me when I tell you that this is not your fault. Thank you for bringing me here- for helping me to escape that house. It's the best help you could have given me, and really what I could use right now is a friend, or rather a friend that isn't already in my head all the time." I laughed but it tasted somewhat bitter.

"Bella, do you believe me?" I asked. "I would never tell you anything but the truth." I meant that. I would never lie to this girl who willingly met with a dangerous animal like myself and was feeling so much guilt and responsibility that wasn't even hers to bear.

"Bella, look at me." I commanded softly.

She slowly lifted her head in the now mostly dark tree house, knowing my wolf vision would enable me to see her as clearly as if we were standing on the sunny beach. Bella's large brown eyes opened wide and rose up to meet my own, and for the third time that week, my world changed forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Previously:

Bella's large brown eyes opened wide and rose up to meet my own, and for the third time that week, my world changed forever.

Ch 3: Seth POV

_Shit. Shit. Shit_. _This cannot be happening_! After all the crap I have been through this week I did not need to be imprinting on Bella Swan. Jacob's Bella. It's how we all thought of her, and not just because Jacob (quite optimistically) considered her to be his, but because they were really good together. She was a broken mess after her leeches left and Jacob is good at fixing things. By all rights, Bella should be Jacob's imprint. Shit! Jacob! He is going to tear me to bits. There is no doubt in my mind he could do so easily. Freaking wonderful! Imprinting on the future alpha's dream girl and BFF. Super. Cue sarcasm and panic attack. Jacob and Bella are best friends and everyone knows if he could have more, he would. Jacob would honestly give his life for this girl. What could I give her?

This imprint doesn't make any sense at all. Sure, Quil might have imprinted on a 2-year-old, but we don't age. Eventually she would catch up to Quil and they would be the same physical age. Why would I imprint on someone three years older than me when I'm stuck at fifteen for the foreseeable future? Technically I guess I did mature physically to look about nineteen and we will all be aging until we reach our full strength and size, but still this cannot be right! I was panicking. Then it dawned on me that Bella and I were still standing in the darkened tree house while my father's funeral was winding down at my house. I couldn't even think about this right now. Bella's nearness and my own impending doom were making my brain too clouded. Finally I broke the stare and the silence.

"I should get back to my house now, Bella." I told her softly. "But thank you. For bringing me here. And for apologizing even though none of this was your fault." She rolled her eyes at that, disbelieving, disagreeing. "I appreciate the gesture." I continue. "But, I can't forgive you since there's nothing to forgive but still…. Just…Thanks," I sighed out. I leaned down and kissed the top of Bella's head, inhaling the sweet strawberry smell of her shampoo for just a moment and then I realized that this is truly what imprinting is about. The wolf gives the imprint what she needs, instinctively, and what Bella needs now is absolution. I give it willingly, and turn away from her as we head back to my house from the darkened woods.

We don't talk on the way back, having said what we needed. She probably assumes I am sad about my dad, which is true, but really I was using the time to think, to reconsider what I know about the imprinting legend, what I've experienced of it from seeing it in my pack brothers' heads versus how it compares to what I'm going through with Bella. To be honest, what I am dealing with seems like something totally new. Great. That's me, Seth Clearwater, a freak among freaks.

Imprinting is supposed to provide a wolf with his (or _her_, my brain adds in for Leah's benefit) perfect mate. Whether the larger purpose is making bigger, stronger wolves through some sort of genetic matching or whether the end goal is just allowing us to have some measure of happiness to balance out our otherwise crappy mystical lives doesn't really matter to me. What matters is that we are whatever our imprint needs.

Sam and Emily had a fairly straightforward imprint. Besides the fact that Sam had been dating Leah, and then he was suddenly no longer interested in her because of the new imprinting bond with Emily, their imprint made sense. They were both Native, both about the same age. Jared and Kim, same scenario but even better because there were no innocent bystanders whose hearts got ripped to shreds in their love story. Quil's imprint was slightly more controversial due to Claire's age, but Quil will be a great brother and protector to Claire until she reaches an age where it would be appropriate for them to date.

None of these cases is really like mine. None of the imprintees have been older than the wolf. Bella's almost eighteen and I'm fifteen. She would never think of me like that. For crap's sake, Bella's last and only other boyfriend was technically over a hundred years old! She can barely consider Jake as boyfriend material and he's more than a year older than me. Sure, Quil was going to be playing the "big brother" role for a while, but there has never been a "little brother" imprint situation. Also, none of the wolves have imprinted on someone who was emotionally damaged like Bella. Sam might have been already attached to Leah when he imprinted, but Emily was a free agent when he imprinted on her. She could accept his love and devotion with very little resistance. (Too little resistance if you ask me, since he was dating my sister at the time, but whatever)

Kim had been crushing on Jared for years. Claire… well Claire was a baby and would probably never have a chance to be interested in a guy other than Quil once she became old enough to be aware of men at all. Bella wasn't looking for anything that either, though. In Bella's mind it was her leech or nothing. She was still just trying to hold herself together and not get herself killed by Victoria in the process.

What Bella really needed was somewhere to belong. She needed a group of friends who cared about her and protected her and helped her have a good time like any other high school kid, not like someone who was already dead or a 36 year-old divorced mother of two. Sorry, but she really needed to loosen up and act her age. She needed to have some fun and learn to feel good about herself. I could help with that.

As we entered my house I made my way up to my room without talking to anyone. I needed to buy myself some time to figure out what my next step was without the pack finding out about my imprint. At least until I figure it out myself. Was that even possible?

I began to go over my own feelings for Bella, from when I looked into her eyes to when I kissed her beautiful hair. I know I felt that pull- that unmistakable imprint pull where the center of my universe shifted and everything pointed to and orbited Bella. Yes, I had always thought Bella was beautiful. And the fact that she made friends of both vampires and werewolves made her incredibly cool. Plus the motorcycles. And the cliff-diving. So yeah, maybe I did have a bit of a crush on Bella… maybe. But as much as the imprint pull told me she was mine I still _thought_ of her as being Jacob's. She was Jacob's friend and would probably eventually be Jacob's girl but that felt somehow…._okay_? What wolf would be okay with someone else dating his imprint? Me. That's who. Because my job was to give Bella what she needed. Bella needed friends. Check. I could do that. Bella needed protection. Check. I was freakishly equipped to do that, too. And right now, she needed Jacob. He was comfortable for her. Easy. So yeah. I could do that. I could watch her through his eyes. I could be around her in the background, and I could learn to be her friend. But I knew somehow that Bella also did not need the pressure of having to deal what my imprinting on her could mean.

The only thing I could think of was that if Bella needed that time and privacy, maybe my wolf would instinctively give her that, too. I was already strangely good at keeping my thoughts private from the rest of the pack when in wolf form. It's not even like I had anything to hide, but I liked my mind to be my own. All I had to do was focus intensely on whatever I was doing at the moment and my thoughts turned into a hum of background noise. It was like a meditation technique my dad had taught me a long time ago when I was first learning to surf. I remembered how I would get distracted by my fears or sometimes even the thoughts in my own head and it would make it difficult for me to stay up on my board. My dad told me to focus on what I was doing and let everything else fall away. "Be here now," he'd said. And it all clicked for me. Now it seemed like my old man's crazy advice may pay off in more than big waves. Hopefully I can keep my head clear enough of Bella Swan to save my own hide. Lord knows Jacob would skin me alive if he knew. And with those not-so-pleasant thoughts I finally drifted off to sleep, crowded in my newly outgrown bed.

* * *

Author's Note: I'm sorry if you feel that this chapter was slow, but I needed it provide some of the foundation to where the story is headed as well as explain some of the questions that readers were asking in the reviews. Things will start moving a bit more in the next chapters. Thanx!


	4. Chapter 4

Previously: _Hopefully I can keep my head clear enough of Bella Swan to save my own hide. Lord knows Jacob would skin me alive if he knew. And with those not-so-pleasant thoughts I finally drifted off to sleep, crowded in my newly outgrown bed._

Ch4- Seth

Over the next few months I learned a lot about myself, Bella, and imprinting as a whole. Firstly, I learned that I am effing awesome at controlling my thoughts while in wolf form. The first time I phased after imprinting I was shitting bricks worrying about slipping up, but once I phased it was more like "rock, stream, tree, squirrel…. Shut up, Paul! Tree, rock, rain…shut up Paul." The wolf took over and I let the animal think for me. Sometimes I would sit back and watch other people's thoughts on things including Bella. I had no idea how it was working to not think about Bella specifically as being my imprint, but it was keeping my ass from getting kicked so I wasn't about to jinx whatever it was that was working in my favor.

Seeing Bella as she interacted with the pack was both funny and sad. It was obvious how she worried over our safety as we ran our patrols and worked to keep Victoria away from her and La Push. It was funny because Bella couldn't seem to grasp that we were werewolves. She just looked at us and saw a group of over-grown, overconfident, half-naked Indian boys. What made me sad was seeing how unworthy she felt of our attention, affection, and efforts. Bella honestly didn't think it was worth a night of missed sleep for one of us to always be running in the woods near her house. She was so terrified that one of us would actually catch up with Victoria and get injured that she would try to convince Sam to stop the pack from guarding her. Of course he refused, so Bella tried to do anything and everything in her power to help make it up to the pack- as if we all weren't jumping at the chance for a little vamp action.

It started with Bella turning up at Sam and Emily's house with a casserole dish or two in hand, doing her best to contribute to the pack's massive feedings. I had long-since stopped thinking of them as real meals. Meals imply silverware, napkins, and manners. What we did was primal and in no way related to anything like a "meal". We just sought to fill the gnawing hole that were our stomachs as fast as possible. Bella started bringing more and more food to help take the burden off of Emily while probably also hoping to make herself feel a bit better about what the pack was doing for her. More often than not, Bella also brought some type of dessert whose recipe had been tripled or quadrupled in size. Giant batches of brownies, multiple cakes and pies, and cookies that looked big in _my_ hand started showing up as well.

All the guys, with the exception of Paul, had really taken a liking to Bella. They picked on, flirted with, and teased her mercilessly, only cementing her placement as an unofficial part of the pack. The great part was, she seemed so content with things as they were that I was totally happy. I'm generally a happy person anyway, but experiencing Bella as a part of my everyday life was amazing. The best part was, I didn't have a longing for more. I had initially worried that once I imprinted on Bella, I would feel this incredible crushing pull to be with her romantically. That never happened. I did feel a pull to be near her, protect her, and keep her happy, but if she was content then so was I. I didn't need more from her. Really, that is what separated me from Jacob. Bella and Jacob were the best of friends, completely comfortable in every way…. almost. Jake wanted more, and Bella either wasn't interested or wasn't ready. Either way, Jacob always had a level of tension just beneath the surface of their easy friendship that sometimes bubbled to the top and made Bella pull back from him.

Jake and Bella always had a touchy-feely friendship with hugs, hand-holding, cuddling, and some touching that seemed to be Jake pushing the boundaries. Bella seemed to enjoy that physical contact, though, even if she wasn't the one initiating it. I would watch her smile and sink into Jake's warm body as he wrapped his arms around her from behind while we all sat around watching movies at Sam and Emily's. It should have been weird that their relationship didn't bother me or make me jealous, but it didn't. It was what Bella needed, so I felt okay with it. In the back of my mind somewhere I also knew that when the time was right Bella would be mine forever, and that sort of guarantee can allow a guy to be patient. Unlike Jake who would boldly run his hand up Bella's leg sometimes when she was sitting on his lap, earning a squeak from Bella, making her jump off Jake in a hurry. He never did learn.

While it was interesting to me how my imprinting experience was so different from everyone else's, it was even more entertaining to see how the imprint affected Bella. Even without being aware of it, Bella was drawn to me. Before we had imprinted, Bella had been at Jake's a few times a week, usually spending a couple of evenings after school and then all day Saturday with him here at the rez. Post-imprint, and especially now that it was summer, Bella was here daily. The pack encouraged her constant presence because it was so much easier to protect Bella while she was here on our land. Jacob was of course ecstatic that Bella was coming to La Push so much and Bella played it off that she thought it was less of an inconvenience to the pack if they didn't have to run the loop near her house. While that much was true, she also admitted to Jake that she felt safer here, more protected. Only I realized that the safe feeling she had when she was on the rez was because she was closer to me.

There were other small things that I noticed, too. When Bella brought food, which was all the time now, she usually brought the things I had commented on liking. All of her baked goods were out of this world, but I noticed that more days than not she also made sure to bring some of her giant, soft peanut butter cookies which were my absolute favorite. Bella's lasagna, a side of garlic green beans with pine nuts and peanut butter cookies for dessert, and I was in food heaven. Somehow, after I had groaned in appreciation after chowing down on my third plate of that delectable meal, Bella just started bringing that particular combination around more often.

I had also noticed that after imprinting, Bella didn't always head straight for Jake's house. Even when she knew Jake would be on patrol, she'd head down to the rez. Rather than waiting at Billy's place or heading over to hang out with Emily, Bella would often go hang out at the beach. At first she would sit by the fallen driftwood tree at First Beach quite a bit. I had heard Jacob think of it at "their spot" in his mind more than once. Now Bella would sometimes wander Second beach, or even more often, make her way to Third Beach which was my favorite spot to surf from. The shape of the coast there made the waves break bigger and harder than the other two spots. It was also much less crowded. Not that any of the La Push beaches ever really got crowed, but Third Beach was practically deserted all the time. Except for me. And now Bella. It always struck me as both sweet and funny that she didn't even know why she found herself there, but I couldn't complain because she was content and with me- two things that made the imprint bond hum through my body like an underlying electrical current.

I walked up to Bella, who was laying on a towel reading. She had taken to sunbathing since it was warm enough, and she had on a red bikini with a pair of cut-off jean shorts pulled on over the bottoms. I was surprised that Bella could actually _get_ tan. I guessed her pale skin was made even more so by the fact that all the "people" she used to hang out with had to avoid the sun, even with the few sunny days we got.

"Bella!" I called out, trotting up to her with my board in hand. "You are going to get funky tan lines with those shorts on, you know?" I asked her, teasing. "It's just me here. I promise I won't be crude or make fun of you if you take them off. I'm not Paul. " I smiled. "Or Quil." I added for good measure, listing out the two biggest skirt chasers of our pack.

She looked up at me, biting her lip. She contemplated my face for a minute as if doubting my sincerity.

"I know. I'm being silly", she said. "It's you, Seth. Not Quil or Paul or something. I don't know why I feel so shy all the time." She sounded frustrated with herself.

"Probably because the pack teases the hell out of you for everything they can think of, and then they laugh while you blush." I offered her, smiling good-naturedly.

"Yeah, probably that." She answered sarcastically. "It's not like I haven't worn a bathing suit around all of you before. I just need to get over myself." She tried to pep herself up. "And really, sometimes I'm glad Paul finds me so disgusting that I don't have to worry about him the way that other girls do. " I bit back a growl at that.

"What do you mean that Paul finds you disgusting?" I ground out, trying to sound more understanding than angry.

"It's just the way he talks to me and how he looks at me. To Paul I'll always be 'the vampire girl', and he can't get past the choices I made to spend time with the Cullens."

Bella placed her hand over her lips as if she'd let a dirty word slip. "You said their name." I remarked.

"I did." She said softly, sounding slightly awed. "It didn't hurt."

"I know I didn't know you very well before all this bad stuff happened, but I saw you right after, and Bella, I've gotta say, you seem like you're doing better. Maybe not brand-spanking-new, but okay."

"Yeah. I do feel better." She remarked. "I think the pack has a lot to do with that." I noticed that she didn't specifically say Jacob, but referred to all of us.

"When they left…." She began, "When the Cullens left" she corrected, her voice still soft, but growing stronger, "I thought I would die. It was bad enough that _he_ was gone, but that he took the whole family from me… what I thought of as _my_ whole family… that's what really killed me. And I couldn't even tell anyone. I think that made it harder." She surmised.

"You didn't talk to Jake?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Jake can't handle any discussion about them. It's like he can't get past _what_ they are enough to hear about how they behaved. The whole "bloodsucker/leech" thing makes it impossible for him to hear what I'm saying. He just starts shaking and I shut my mouth." She added sadly.

"It makes sense", I said. "As the rightful Alpha, whatever instincts we have as wolves will be ingrained in Jake more completely than the rest of the pack. Whatever it is that is essential to us will most certainly be stronger in him. As Alpha his instincts must be strongest."

"But Jake isn't Alpha. Sam is." Bella said, seeming confused.

"Sam is the _acting_ Alpha because he phased first and is the oldest. Jake is the _rightful _Alpha as determined by bloodlines and tradition. When he is ready for the responsibility he will take over as Alpha." I summed up for her.

"He never told me." She said softly, as if wondering why he wouldn't share this information.

"Hey Bella," I said in a teasing voice, hoping to lighten the mood. "You've had your shorts half-way off for the past ten minutes. Are you trying to get weird tan lines, or did you flake out on me here?"

"I thought you said you wouldn't tease me, but here you are sounding just like Quil trying to get me to take my clothes off" she teased back, smacking my arm.

"Well, you were probably relieved to hear Quil imprinted on Claire so you'll be safe from all of his unwanted advances" I joked at his expense. Hey, he wasn't here and he might kick my ass for it later, but it was making Bella smile so it was well worth it.

Bella looked confused. "Quil imprinted. What's imprinted?" she asked with a smile.

Oh shit. Shit squared. Jacob hasn't fucking told her about imprinting. And now the fates have deemed it necessary for me to explain the phenomena to her. Discussing imprinting with Bella, my secret imprint… this was not a conversation I was willing to have. Fuckity fuckity fuck!

"Maybe you should be asking Jacob about this," was my lame and uncomfortable answer.

"Maybe I_ should_ be asking Jacob, but right now he isn't here so I'm asking you, Seth. Now please tell me what is imprinting?" her eyes were narrowed and she had a look that was a mixture of anger and determination. I made a mental note that Bella did not enjoy the feeling that something was being kept from her. I really didn't want to answer. I tried to think of a way to skirt around the topic, but that effing imprinting compulsion makes me want to give Bella whatever Bella wants or needs, and what Bella needs is an answer. So here I go, singing like a canary.

"Imprinting is how wolves find their soul mates. Not every wolf imprints, but when they do it is absolute devotion until the imprint dies. Then usually the wolf dies of a broken heart. Nothing can break an imprint. It is one of the strongest compulsions felt by a wolf if he in fact does imprint, the only thing stronger being the command of the Alpha." The verbal diarrhea poured out in picture-perfect accuracy, and I cringed as I waited for Bella's reaction.

She sat there perfectly still and silent for four minutes and thirty seven seconds. I counted the seconds in my head as I waited. I didn't have the guts or inclination to disrupt her mental processing. Then she looked up at me and asked me a question that I wasn't expecting, taking me completely off guard.

* * *

enjoy the cliffy... I'll post again soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Previously: _She sat there perfectly still and silent for four minutes and thirty seven seconds. I counted the seconds in my head as I waited. I didn't have the guts or inclination to disrupt her mental processing. Then she looked up at me and asked me a question that I wasn't expecting, taking me completely off guard._

Ch 5: Seth's POV

"Is this what happened with Sam and Emily?" Bella asked. "Imprinting, I mean."

Bella's voice was serious, and her question had surprised me. I hadn't expected this, and had no idea where she was headed in her reasoning. So I answered honestly.

"Yes. Sam imprinted on Emily the first time he saw her after he'd phased. It was at my house, actually. Emily is our cousin, you know, and she came to visit. Sam was dating Leah at the time and it was pretty serious. They'd been together for a while. But once he saw Emily it didn't matter. That imprinting pull was too strong. He couldn't stay away from Emily and Emily couldn't resist that kind of persistent, all out devotion." I repeated the short version of the story for Bella, leaving out where Leah was broken beyond repair and how none of us knew why Sam suddenly left Leah for her cousin. I certainly left out the part about Leah turning into the wicked bitch of the west because of having to listen to Sam's thoughts on Emily when in wolf form.

"Imprinting pull? What do you mean by pull?" Bella was curious now, seeking out as much info as possible.

"The wolf feels a need to be close to his imprint, to provide whatever she needs. He can never leave her. To some lesser degree, the imprint feels a certain connection, too. Not a pull as much as comfort in being near their wolf. The imprinted pair is complete when they are together." Why why why couldn't I shut the hell up? Come on, Seth! Stick to yes and no answers before you blow everything.

"Did Sam love Leah before he met Emily? Like really love her?" she asked.

"They were going to get married." I said. "They were very happy."

"But it didn't matter once the imprint kicked in. The wolf instinct was stronger?" Bella asked.I nodded again. Nodding was good, I told myself. It gave away even less than saying yes or no. If we could keep this conversation to nods and head shakes I might actually survive it.

"Is Kim Jared's imprint..thingy?" Bella asked. I noticed Bella was shaking. Not like she was cold, but almost like we do before we phase into wolves. I nodded again, watching her warily.

"Seth, I need to ask you something. I know you're not going to want to tell me, but I need to hear it from you. It's just….I know you wouldn't lie to me." Her face was so serious and her voice deadly soft, but she was right. I couldn't lie to her when asked a direct question any more than I could defy an alpha command. What is up with that imprinting crap?! I nodded to Bella to indicate that she continue, even though I was sure her next question would ruin everything.

"Seth…. did Jacob imprint on me?" Her soft tone commanded me as much as her question caught me off guard. Again, the direction of her thoughts was unclear to me. Did she _want_ Jacob to have imprinted on her?

"No, sweetie. He didn't." My eyes didn't leave hers. She nodded as if I had confirmed what she already suspected and then let out a yell that had me jumping back in surprise, not an easy task to scare the shit out of a werewolf.

"Fucking Jacob Black!" she screamed his name like it was its own curse. I was so confused at her outburst I didn't know what to say. Was she this angry because she wasn't Jacob's imprint? What did that mean?

In her anger, Bella dissolved into tears. I had noticed this quirk in her makeup a while ago. Some of the pack members thought Bella was just a girl, emotional and soft, and that is why she seemed to cry so much. Really, Bella had a temper, and her tear ducts seemed to be somehow connected to her anger. What she really needed was an outlet.

I sat down on the towel next to Bella and pulled her into my arms saying what I hoped would comfort her. "Bella, Jacob loves you. He does. He wanted to imprint on you so bad… everyone was hoping he would, but you know he just has no choice in the matter. It doesn't mean he loves you less. Hell, he might never imprint at all." I said. "Why are you so upset, sweetie?"

"I am not upset." Bella annunciated each word. "I am pissed. What the hell is Jacob thinking? I mean, why bother trying to get me to fall in love with him over the past year when he knows I'm not his soul mate. He knows I am not the one he's meant to be with. And he just keeps pushing. And the more he pushes the more I question why I haven't given him a chance yet… because I _do_ love him. I'm not _in love with him_, but I love him as much as I might ever be capable of. But I keep holding myself back. Do you know why, Seth?"

I am hoping this is not a rhetorical question. "Because you are still in love with Edward?" my tone makes it sound like more of a question than an answer.

"No! I am not in love with Edward anymore! Edward left me in the woods like the broken toy I was to him. I hold myself back from Jacob because if something happened between us, and he finally realized that he deserved someone better than me, then I'd be so much worse than before. I would probably lose him as my best friend, and I'd also lose all of you as well. And I can't do that again. I can't lose all my family again. Not when I just started to feel like I had one."

I could understand that. If things went bad between Bella and Jacob, the pack wouldn't necessarily be less hospitable to her, but she wouldn't be nearly as comfortable coming to the rez all the time. ….at least as far as she knew she wouldn't be comfortable. The imprint would probably still calm her to some extent, but she wouldn't understand how or why that was possible.

"Do you know why I almost died when the Cullens left?" Bella asked me, and I shook my head no.

"It really was like suddenly becoming an orphan. I have always been an only child, you know. And my mom was a total screw-up." Bella sniffed loudly.

"I mean, come on! How hard is it to remember to pay the electric bill… or the phone bill? I had to take over the finances when I was eleven because I was sick of waking up with no lights and a cold shower. You know why I have no hobbies or interests other than reading?" She looked up at me with those huge, tear-wet brown eyes.

"Because my mom couldn't remember to take me… to soccer practice or ballet or gymnastics..or whatever else I wanted to try. And if I did manage to get dropped off it was usually late, and then she'd pick me up after everyone else had already gone home. It was humiliating! And finally I just gave up. I stopped trying things and just stuck with walking myself down the street to the library. My mom couldn't fuck that up for me, you know?"

I didn't know. I had great parents who supported me in everything. I was the youngest child and never had to worry about bills or rides or anything that a kid shouldn't.

"And then along came the Cullens and they welcomed me into their family. And they were like the fucking vampire Brady Bunch, you know? Carlisle and Esme were the adults and they managed the grown-up parts of life and they hugged me and showed interest in me… even if there isn't much to be interested in at this point. I really am just a bookworm now."

I couldn't believe she thought of herself that way. Bella had so much about her that was interesting and worthwhile.

"And then Edward got tired of me and they left! They all fucking left without so much as a goodbye." She hiccupped through her sobs and it was adorable. I wanted to kick my own ass for even _thinking_ the word adorable. I may be a happy punk, but I am not a girl.

"So I just don't think I can do this again." She said, suddenly pulled out of her remembrances. "I can't throw myself into a relationship with someone when I know he deserves better than me, especially knowing I would lose the pack, too. I can't lose my second family. Not again."

I wanted to stop myself, but my mouth was working faster than my brain right then. "There is no guarantee that Jacob will imprint at all. Not all wolves do, you know. You might be waiting for something that will never happen." Was I _encouraging_ her to date Jacob? What the hell is wrong with me?

At this point Bella seemed like an adult talking to me like the 16-year old kid that I was. "Seth. You told me yourself that Jacob is the rightful alpha- that his instincts are strongest, that all things having to do with the wolf will manifest in their purest form in him. Why would imprinting be any different?"

I had no answer for that, so I asked my own question. "So why are you so angry at Jacob? I still don't get that part."

"I'm mad because he's my best friend. He knows me. He would understand how something like imprinting would impact the decisions I would make to move forward with him, even if it was sometime in the distant future. What if I had already chosen to give Jacob a chance? After talking with you I would be living with the very real fear that Jacob could leave me at any point, just because he looks some random girl in the eye. I can't believe he was willing to risk me like that. I'm just a human. I can't compete with all this supernatural bullshit." She seemed sad, resigned somehow to a fate of being ordinary.

"You don't have to compete, Bella. You're perfect just how you are." The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Bella gave me a half-hearted smile and ruffled my hair, but even that gesture made my heart swell.

"I know you can't really keep things from the pack, Seth, but if you could keep this conversation between the two of us as much as humanly possible…" she trailed off and laughed to herself a moment "or however the saying should go in this case, please do. I trust you, Seth."

And when she looked up at me with those chocolate brown eyes I knew I would do anything she asked.


	6. Chapter 6

_Previously: And when she looked up at me with those chocolate brown eyes I knew I would do anything she asked. _

Ch 6: Seth

Amazingly, I was able to keep my conversation with Bella private. Chalk it up to my imprint requesting it, or my mad mental skills, or whatever. It works and I am still running on four legs (or two depending upon the situation). Even more amazingly, that conversation was a turning point in my friendship with Bella. From that point on, we were really close. More days than not she'd wander up to Third Beach and watch me surf and when I was done we'd lie on her beach blanket listening to her music, sharing an ear bud each. Some days Bella would come equipped with a werewolf sized picnic lunch and we'd hang out and talk or just enjoy the ocean. I learned so much about her on those days we spent together. I learned that she wasn't sure what she wanted to do with her life as an adult, but when her classes started at Peninsula Community College in the Fall she planned to take some cooking and business classes.

"I don't know. I like to cook and bake. Maybe I'll open up my own catering business or something." Bella said with a shrug.

"Well, you are used to cooking in huge quantities. And your culinary skills are out of this world, so I think catering or something like it would be a great fit. You should do what you love, you know?"

"What about you?" Bella asked. "What do you want to do?"

"Well, I don't think I'll be making it onto the pro surfing circuit anytime soon, so there goes my first choice, but I've got time to work it all out, still. I'm still a young buck," I joke puffing my chest out and giving her a cheesy grin.

"Are you trying to tell me I'm old?" Bella asked in a fake angry voice.

"Of course not, but I've got more time than you do to figure it out. I'm only going to be a junior this year." I add.

"I forget sometimes you're that young."Bella said. "I guess all that wolfy stuff makes you mature before you need to, huh?"

I didn't answer. I was just excited that Bella had started to forget about the age gap between us. It's not like I planned on making a more on her or anything. She was happy with our friendship and consequently I was completely satisfied as well. Spending time with her left me feeling completely content.

The funny thing was, the pack knew we were hanging out at the beach and never thought anything of it. They knew Bella was physically safe on the rez with one of the pack members with her, and that was enough for them. Finally, I got up the nerve to ask Bella something I'd brought up once when we'd first met.

"Bella, I want you to let me teach you to surf." I looked her right in the eye.

"I'd love that Seth, really. In theory, surfing sounds like something I would really enjoy, but you know how clumsy I am. If I ever did manage to stand up, I'd just fall down and injure myself." Her lack of confidence was heartbreaking.

I grabbed her tiny hand between my two huge ones. "Bella, everyone falls when they learn to surf. Even after you learn, you will still fall. I've seen you swim and you are a really strong swimmer. I know you could do this. Please let me try and teach you. Give me one week, and if you hate it, then I promise we can stop and I'll never bug you about it again."

Bella looked up at me from beneath her lashes, biting her fat bottom lip. "If it means that much to you, I'll give it a shot. I'm warning you, though- I'm a total disaster when it comes to anything requiring coordination. You've got your work cut out for you." She smirked a bit and then her face became almost pained. "Seth." She implored. "If we're going to do this you _cannot_ tell the pack. You know how bad they will make fun of me for even attempting to go near a surf board. And then they'd want to come watch me make a fool of myself and I'd never get the nerve up to try."

She was right. If the pack caught wind of this they'd all be sitting out on Third Beach with bags of popcorn watching Bella like she was the Three Stooges or something. "I agree." I told her. "An audience of werewolves with supernatural grace and coordination and obnoxiously loud laughs will not help you build the confidence you need to surf."

Bella laughed. "Well okay, then! When do we start?" Now she sounded almost excited. I knew she would be. The thing about Bella is, she might be shy, and she might not be good at some activities, but she isn't afraid of anything. Like cliff diving- dangerous as hell, no skill involved, and Bella was in like flint. I loved that about her.

"Tomorrow." I said. "Early. I get off patrol at 6am. Meet me here by 6:30 and I'll have everything we need to get started."Bella's already big eyes went wider.

"Why so early, Seth?" she asked.

"Less chance of running into someone from the pack." I answered. She nodded in understanding.

The next morning after running my patrol I ran back to the shed behind my house where I did my leather work and kept all my surfing gear. I dug out an old wetsuit I'd used a few years back when I was a kid, and grabbed an old board that I thought would be manageable for Bella given her petite frame. Bella was already at the beach when I got there, wearing a sweatshirt and shorts over her bikini.

"It's too cold to go in the water, Seth." She grumbled.

"Don't worry, Bella. You won't be going in the water today." I answered with a sunny smile.

"Then why are we out here?"Bella whined.

"You're going to practice getting up on the board", I answered. "First on land, and then when you've got that down, we'll try it in the water. Then we'll paddle out and see what happens. It won't all happen on the first day. You told me you'd give me a week." I looked her sternly in the eye to remind her of her promise.

After that, we got to work. I made Bella suit up even though we wouldn't be getting wet just because I wanted her to get used to the suit. After about two hours of drills with Bella lying on her stomach across the board and me yelling "go!" her legs were dead. She had managed to get pretty decent at popping up without toppling over, so I let her go for the day.

The next morning went basically the same way. I actually tried some drills with the board on top of me so I could move it a bit and give Bella a sense of what it would feel like once we were in the water. It's not like laying in the sand holding a surfboard and having Bella jump on it was going to kill me. Werewolf strength rocks!

On the third day, we paddled out. I knew this would be the day that frustrated Bella. People feel like once they know what they are supposed to do, they should be able to do it right away. Surfing doesn't work that way. Bella was frustrated, but determined and she gave me a full two hour effort. At the end of that session I pulled her into my arms for a big hug and told her how proud I was of her for not giving up. "I know you can do this Bella. You are so strong and the most determined woman I've ever met. If you want this and you focus on it you can do it." I whispered into her hair. My reward was a dazzling smile and seeing the look of determination return to Bella's eye.

Day four, Bella made it onto her knees and caught a partial wave. Something about that steeled her nerve even further. It was like she caught a taste of what she was after and knew it was within reach.

On day five, the water was abnormally calm, and after an hour, Bella got up on the board in a full standing position. Granted, there was practically no wave for her to ride in, but the look of pride on her face made my heart swell. I had helped give her that.

Day six was choppy and by the end of our two hours, Bella and I were both battered. She actually managed to get whacked on the head with her surf board when one of the waves knocked it back toward her after a failed attempt to get up.

Then, on the seventh day, my last day to try, it happened. We had paddled out to where the waves were breaking, and I saw something nice coming our way. "It's all you, sweetheart. This one's got your name on it, Bella, now go!" And she did it. She popped up just like we'd practiced and she gained her balance and rode the wave half way in to shore. After she finally fell off, she stood in the water and looked back at me in complete shock. "I did it! Holy shit, Seth, I did it!"

She paddled right back out to me and gave it another go. Bella caught another three or four waves before our time was up. "That's two hours, babe. You ready to call it a day?" I looked at her straddling the board in the water next to me.

"Hell no! Give me another two waves and I'll be good to go." She answered with a huge smile.

I sat back and watched her surf. It had suddenly clicked for her and the timing, balance and strength all worked out. Once she finally got the hang of it and got her focus, she was magnificent. After about thirty minutes, she headed to the shore where I was sitting and sat next to me, smiling.

"You look so happy", I remarked.

"It's like nothing I could have imagined. I can see why you do this all the time. It's like complete focus, but also a relaxing mental silence, if that makes sense." She said.

I nodded.

"I've heard that you're mind is pretty quiet anyway though Seth. It's something we have in common. " I didn't know what she meant. It's not like she had a pack of wolves who listened in to her thoughts anyway.

"When I was with Edward, he couldn't hear my mind. I was totally silent to me. He always remarked about how relaxing it was to be with just me and my quiet brain." I had known that Edward was a mind-reader, but since Bella generally didn't talk much about him I hadn't heard that bit of trivia before.

"It seems easier for you to talk about them now. The Cullens, I mean." I clarified.

"It's always easy for me to talk to you." She looked up at me with wide eyes. Her voice was low and soft. "I feel like no matter what I say it won't change the way you look at me. That makes it easy for me to share my mind. It makes it easy to be myself."

I didn't know what to say to that although I was bursting with happiness inside. "Come on." I grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her up. "Let's get this stuff put away and figure out what everyone is doing the rest of this fine day."

We got to Bella's truck and I put our stuff in the back. She began to drive in the direction of my house. "So, if you want to surf at any time I'll show you where I keep all this gear and you can help yourself to it. I could tell from the look in your eye when you were in the water that you're hooked."

She grinned at me. "Damn straight, I am!"

She pulled her truck into my driveway and helped me get stuff out to the shed. "I'm going to get changed and come back in a few, okay?" she said.

"Of course. I've got to wax up the boards and hose out the suits, so I'll probably be out here for a while…if I'm not in the house when you're done."

After I heard Bella's feet crunch on the gravel path I reached into my tool bench and pulled out my ceramic bowl and my stash. Smoking weed on the rez was pretty much the norm. Besides the ceremonial peace pipe, pot was fairly acceptable though probably not discussed that much with outsiders. Unfortunately, Bella Swan, daughter of police Chief Charlie Swan was still considered an outsider despite all her dealings with the pack. No one smoked at bonfires until after Bella was gone, and everyone pretty much hid their shit from her. Just as I had finished lighting my bowl and taking another hit, I heard the pull of the door and scrambled to shove my paraphernalia into the nearest drawer.

Bella walked in the door with a plate of cookies covered in plastic wrap. Her nose wrinkled up and then she said "what's burning, Seth? There's something smoking in that tool box." Shit shit shitters! I hadn't thought about my bowl still being lit. I slowly exhaled, hoping against hope that Bella didn't see the tiny trail of smoke escaping between my lips.

"What the hell, Seth? Something's on fire! There's smoke and it smells… weird.. I don't know."

Was it truly possible that Bella had never smelled pot before? I gave up. There was no way I would be able to think of something to cover this up without making us both feel like idiots in the long run, so I pulled my bowl out of the drawer and set it on the table in front of Bella.

She eyed it with a curious and confused expression. "Incense?" she asked. "Why would you hide incense in a drawer?" Damn, she was innocent.

"Bella, it's not incense. It's pot. _Marijuana_, you know?"

"Oh. Oh!" she said, her eyes growing huge. "You were smoking pot just now? _That's_ what that smell was!"

I asked a question with an obvious answer. "Have you never smelled pot before, Bella?"

She looked down as if embarrassed. "You don't really get invited to a lot of parties when your dad's the police chief, you know. People always think you're gonna snitch. And then I started spending all of my time around a bunch of vampires, so not a lot of pot there…. Or alcohol either, soooo there goes normal teenage rebellion." She summed up, blushing.

"Wait! Tell me you've never been drunk, either!"

Bella shrugged sheepishly. "Like I said… Chief's daughter equals goody-two-shoes. No fun for me."

"Well, unlike vampires, werewolves like to drink. Even if it takes a fuckton of alcohol to do anything, we do drink. And being good Quileutte boys, we also smoke our fair share." There. I said it.

"You all do this?" Bella asked incredulously.

I nodded. "Why did everyone hide it from me?" she asked even more disbelieving.

"Same reason everyone else hides it from you, Hon. Charlie."

Bella looked angry now. She put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes and said " that is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. I can be trusted to keep the biggest secret of your tribe, a secret that only elders and pack members and imprints know, but the pack thinks I'm going to call in a drug raid to Charlie because of some pot? Because they can't trust me, or they think I'm so sweet and innocent? Maybe I'm so freaking innocent because no one is honest with me. How the hell will I ever experience anything? Fucking vampires can't drink, don't smoke, won't have sex with humans. Fucking werewolves just sneak around behind my back and have all their fun without me. Fuck that! Seth, I want to get high."

I was totally bewildered. She was seriously pissed. And very sexy looking when angry, I might add. It did occur to me that she just confessed both that she wanted me to get her high and that she didn't have sex with Cullen. That subject had been one debated among the pack for months, but no one would dare ask her. I would just tuck that bit of info away to ponder at a later date. In the meantime, Bella was waiting for me to respond to her little tantrum.

"Sure, Bells. Have a seat." I motioned toward the ugliest couch ever designed. It was a hand-me-down from who knows where.

"We're going to do this right now?" Bella gulped, suddenly looking a bit scared.

"Do you have somewhere to be?" I asked her, knowing the answer.

"No," she said in a small voice. "But Seth, don't let me do anything crazy or stupid… and don't let me drive!" she yelled out.

"Bella, it's pot, not scotch, but don't worry. I will not let you drive. As for crazy or stupid… don't worry hon. We're just gonna chill out here for a few hours and celebrate you turning into my favorite new surfer chick."

She smiled at me and reached for the bowl I had just hit. "Maybe I should just do a little bit and see how it goes." She said timidly.

"It actually takes a lot the first time, or you won't feel it at all. You sure you want to do this?" I couldn't help asking.

"Hells yes!" she answered, and fired up. Bella coughed and sputtered and lit again. Finally a few minutes later I saw a broad smile spread across her face and I couldn't help but smile back.

"This is not what I expected." Bella said. "I thought I'd feel really… crazy or out of control or something, but really I just feel…. Nice." I nodded in understanding, getting up to flip on the world's oldest TV complete with rabbit ears. It must have been a package deal with the sofa. I fiddled with the antenna until the picture was somewhat visible.

"Kickass! Buffy's on!" I yelled. Bella looked at me with no recognition. I couldn't believe she was that baked, but could it be possible she'd never heard of Buffy? "Buffy the vampire slayer. " I stated. Still no light bulb on Bella's face. "You dated a fucking vampire and you've never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer?! What the hell? That's sacrilege! I plopped onto the couch next to Bella and grabbed the plate of cookies from the work table. It was the peanut butter kind that I loved. Yum! Bella slunk in closer beside me and looked up at me with a cheesy smile and bloodshot eyes.

"Seth.." she drawled in a sexy, whiny voice. "Those cookies look soooo good and I'm soooo hungry. I know I made them as a thank you for my surfing lessons, but will you please share them with me?" She stuck out that fat bottom lip for good measure. I laughed and thrust the plate toward her.

"Knock yourself out, Bella." I said. Bella responded by biting into a cookie and letting out a groan that would make a lesser man sport wood.

Getting high and watching Buffy reruns with Bella after spending the morning surfing together would soon become my favorite way to spend the day.


	7. Chapter 7

_Previously: Getting high and watching Buffy reruns with Bella after spending the morning surfing together would soon become my favorite way to spend the day. _

Ch 7: Seth POV

As fall approached and Bella and I were both busied with school work we spent a little less time together. She loved her cooking classes, tolerated her business classes, and was doing really well. It was easy to forget about the threat of Victoria and the fact that Bella's trek to and from class was still fairly dangerous if she was unaccompanied by one of the pack members. When she wasn't in class, Bella was usually in La Push. Between me and Jacob and the rest of the pack, Bella was busy and seemed almost happy. I would've had to be an idiot not to notice how much time Charlie was spending at La Push as well… especially since 90% of that time was spent at my house…..with my mom. It's all good, though. My mom's a good woman and she deserves to be happy. And, if nothing else, Charlie getting together with my mom would further cement Bella's position within our pack. It also gave Bella more of an excuse than ever to be at the rez and stay down with us on the weekends.

Bella and Jake still had a close bond, and yeah, he was still totally in love with her, but I was cool with that. She was happy when we surfed together and also when we had what we jokingly referred to as our "twice baked Saturdays". On those Saturdays Bella and I would meet up early at Third Beach and surf and then come back to my shed and "get baked". A stoned Bella was a hungry Bella, so we'd usually head to my kitchen after that where she would come up with something delicious for us to eat. Bella's gourmet baking would be the second part of our "twice baked" Saturday. Sometimes I'd help out, but usually I'd just wash up the utensils as she used them and joke around with her while she would improvise ingredients to fit her latest craving. One Saturday Bella set her eyes on me with a deadly serious face and asked "What are your true feelings on cream cheese icing?"

In my somewhat altered state, that was the funniest question I'd ever heard and we both dissolved into fits of laughter. That would remain one of our favorite random things to say to one another and always managed to make us smile. That question did lead to a fantastic batch of chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter cream cheese icing, the likes of which I'd never tasted.

By Spring Break of that year, Charlie had moved in to our house on the rez which meant that Bella moved in, too. It was a fantastic situation for someone who was secretly imprinted, really. Bella was always near enough to me that I didn't feel the pain of her absence, and having her asleep in the room that was attached to mine via a shared bathroom meant that I could protect her if she needed it. Since Leah was the oldest, she got her own bathroom and the larger bedroom down the hall, but Bella and I didn't care. We were close enough that we'd rather be close together anyway.

Our closeness didn't seem to bother anyone else. In fact, most of the pack figured that Bella and I were like a brother and sister. I don't know about that. Bella never tried to make me miserable like Leah did. She didn't try and make me feel younger or more immature than her, and I certainly didn't feel like she was a sister to me. We didn't argue with the assumption, though. That was something I began to notice about Bella. If someone had an idea about her, made an incorrect assumption or whatever, she wasn't going to correct them. Bella would let them go right ahead and think whatever they wanted. So most of the pack was under the impression that Bella was still some sort of naïve little girl who read sappy old books all day while pining away after Edward Cullen.

One early summer bonfire just after my junior year had finished and everyone had wrapped up their exams at school, Bella thought it would be funny to shake things up a bit and let everyone know just how skewed their idea of her really was. The bonfire had gone late and it was the point at which Bella would typically have to head back to Forks. Now that she lived at my house there was really no reason for her to go. The wolves had all been eyeing each other for a while, waiting for their chance to cut loose, not knowing whether she'd leave. Bella caught my eye and smirked, raising her eyebrow conspiratorially. She reached into my leather messenger bag and dug out and lit my bowl before any of the pack registered what was happening. Without looking directly at anyone, she hit it again before passing the bowl and lighter to me. The she looked up and demanded "What?!" in a smart-assed tone to the stunned-silent crowd.

Quil was the first to recover, probably because he had the biggest mouth. "See! I knew Bella wouldn't give a shit about some weed! Here we've been sneaking around her for years and she and Seth are probably getting stoned together every day. Damn!" His eyes sparkled with amusement. Paul shrugged, gave Bella a grin and demanded that she "pass that shit over his way". Jacob was the only one who didn't seem too pleased with Bella springing that bit of information on everyone. "What the hell, Bells? Were you ever going to say anything to the rest of us?" he sounded pissy.

"I don't know, Jake. Were you ever going to say anything to me?" she asked in a soft voice while looking up at him from under her lashes. I watched her bite her lip and he visibly melted. Sucker.

"Aw, Honey! Don't be like that," he pleaded. I just know how you hate lying to Charlie about what you're up to, so I didn't want to put you in that position," he reasoned.

Bella, being Bella forgave him immediately. "So what else are you two creeps hiding from us?" Jacob laughed as he threw his arm carelessly around Bella's shoulder.

"Yeah, well Seth taught me how to surf," Bella deadpanned. The pack all laughed raucously at that, particularly Jacob, but Bella didn't say anything more. She didn't bother to argue or correct them; she just let them go on thinking she had been joking. I looked into her eyes and saw a bit of hurt there, but when she caught my glance she just smiled slightly and shook her head almost imperceptibly. Fuck it. Fuck _them_. They shouldn't make Bella the brunt of their jokes. She _is_ clumsy as hell and she had to work her ass off to even be able to stand on her surf board on the sand. Now she was fucking grace on water. It was their loss not being able to share that part of her. Somewhere inside, my wolf rejoiced in the fact that a certain piece of Bella still belonged only to me and maybe she wasn't quite ready to share it with the rest of the pack either.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to keep that part of Bella to myself for much longer. Once summer was in full swing, Bella and I had woken up early one morning to grab some breakfast and hit the waves at Third Beach. We'd been out in the water for nearly an hour when I noticed Embry and Jacob's silhouettes on the sand. I don't know how long they'd been watching, but it was long enough for them to ascertain that Bella was no longer a novice.

I began to paddle in to shore just to make sure that everything was okay. Bella, however, had spotted her next wave and I watched from the shore as she paddled, popped up, spread her feet, and rode in. The lean muscles in her legs flexed and tensed as she shifted her weight almost imperceptibly in an effort to maintain her balance. Bella's dark hair hung in wet tendrils with the ends curling almost at her waist, and the look on her face was pure joy. She took my breath away.

Jacob nudged me with his shoulder and I was afraid I got caught drooling. "Thank you, Seth."His voice was serious and quiet.

"For what?' I honestly didn't know.

"For giving her that. I haven't seen Bella smile like that in like… well … ever really. You did that. You taught her how to do that and all of us fucking laughed at her like she was making a damn joke when she told us about it." The guild was thick in his voice and I could tell Jake was feeling like shit. He probably should, too. Underestimating someone isn't a great way to endear them to yourself, you know.

"S'okay man," I said, brushing off his thanks. _She_ did that, though, not me. She worked her ass off to learn and wouldn't give up. You know how stubborn she is. It's like a curse and a gift." I wanted to make him feel better without taking the credit. Bella was the one who deserved the admiration here, not me.

Quil was still just staring at Bella as she paddled back out through the breakers to catch her next ride. He looked a little dumbstruck as he watched her pop up and command her board again. "That is so not cool, dude. As if Jacob wasn't hard enough for Bella 24/7 already, now we're all gonna have this image burned into our minds for the rest of our lives. She looks like a fucking goddess" Quil admitted. I couldn't help but agree.


	8. Chapter 8

_Previously: "As if Jacob wasn't hard enough for Bella 24/7 already, now we're all gonna have this image burned into our minds for the rest of our lives. She looks like a fucking goddess" Quil admitted. I couldn't help but agree. _

Ch 8: Seth

Sure enough, Quil was right. That particular vision of Bella on her board, backlit by the sun, hair streaming wet with a big smile and not so big bathing suit did unfortunately end up in the pack's collective spank box. Which was not so great for me. The imprinted guys were fine, of course because they were completely fulfilled by whatever stage their imprinting relationship was at. Initially this was something I was really thankful for. I was imprinted on Bella. She needed me to be a friend to her. We had become best friends- probably as close as her and Jacob. Therefore I had everything I needed. Emotionally I was good. Physically, I was a healthy beast. Sexually…. I was kind of like a monk. Abstinent in every way and completely happy that way. But then the speculation started and it was all because of that damn scene with Bella on her surf board.

I had been running patrol with Paul and Embry and Paul had just been reliving in vivid detail a very intimate moment involving his shower, his left hand, and Bella the water nymph. Finally, my stomach felt like it was starting to turn and I growled out "Enough!" at Paul.

"Sorry to offend your delicate sensibilities, Seth," he mocked. "You know Seth… everyone does it. I get that I'm probably damaging your virgin brain waves or whatever, but seriously…. It's not like you've never done it."

"I know it's perfectly normal, Paul. It's just that I'm sure Bella wouldn't appreciate knowing that most of her friends are jerking off to her in the shower."

"Well, aren't you a little boyscout!" Paul was such an ass.

"I'm not a boyscout, Paul. I just …" I didn't know how to finish that sentence without giving away more than I wanted.

"You just don't jerk off." Embry finished bluntly. _What the hell! _

"What? You don't. I've never caught it before in your thoughts… ever. I don't think that's normal, Dude." Embry finished up.

"Are we seriously doing this?" I ask. "Are you two trying to turn it around so that I'm the weird one because I'm not wacking it every chance I get while thinking about my best friend?" I was getting mad now.

"All I'm saying is Bella looked fuckhot when she was surfing that day. And you've been surfing with her for what… _a year_ now? And this is the first time we've caught _any_ images of her at all and it was from Jacob! Bella Swan has been putting on a veritable private spankshow for you on an almost daily basis for over a year but you haven't _ever_ thought about it?" Embry's observation was headed somewhere dangerous and I didn't like it.

"Maybe he didn't think about it because he didn't _notice_ it," Paul chimed in. His voice sounded a little too understanding. Then he dropped the bomb. "I mean, the only guys who _haven't_ been perving on our Miss Swan are those pathetically imprinted bastards and that's 'cuz they all lost their balls in the arrangement. Except little Seth here. Maybe Seth just isn't into girls. At all. Maybe he doesn't notice Bella all dripping wet on the beach because Bella doesn't have a dick! Do you prefer dick, Seth?" Paul goaded.

"Oh shit!" Embry's mind yelled. "I never thought of that! Fuck, dude. Are you _gay_? You're still my brother and everything, it doesn't matter. I just…. Maybe I'd want a little privacy when I strip down to phase or whatever, but still…." Embry's mind was flying over the possible impact of this new development when he burst out… "Shit! Can gay wolves imprint? I wonder if there's a legend about that. I doubt the elders would've written something like that down. Probably frowned upon that sorta thing back in the day… damn!"

I couldn't handle any more. "Shut it!" I yelled, mentally. "I'm not gay. I just don't think of Bella that way." I really hoped we could end this conversation asap.

"But Seth, you don't thing of _any _girls _like that_. Are you sure you're _not_ gay?" Embry asked. In an abstract way I appreciated the fact that if I were gay, rather than in a fucked-up secret imprint with the girl my friend and future alpha was in love with, Embry would be trying to get me to work that shit out and come out of the closet to the pack. He didn't seem to be teasing me like Paul was; he just wanted to know what my deal was.

"I AM NOT GAY" I annunciated as forcefully as I could in my mental voice. And then I was hit with a stroke of genius… or so I thought.

"Look guys, you KNOW what happened with Leah. You've seen it in Sam's thoughts and her own. She's still totally destroyed over it. Leah's my sister. I just can't think of dating someone knowing what happened to Leah would probably happen to them, too. What happens if I get a girlfriend and then I imprint? I'd be worse than Sam because I would have known about the possibility of that shit beforehand." _Like Jacob_ my brain added to that little speech without my consent.

"That sounds just like what Bella said to Jacob the last time he tried to have "the talk" with her about how much he loved her and would wait for her forever," said Embry. "Wait! Did you and Bella talk about all this before?" he added.

"It's come up before, yeah. I couldn't lie to her, you know. She might be Jacob's best friend, but she's mine, too. She asked me a long time ago if Jacob had imprinted on her and I told her he hadn't. I didn't tell her whether or not to give him a shot. That's all up to her… whatever makes her happy." I answered, glad to be off the topic of my apparently questionable sexuality.

"Sometimes I wonder if the reason you guys got so close was that there's always an expectation from Jacob that eventually they will have more to their relationship. It's not exactly normal for a girl to be hanging out with a teenage guy three years younger than her. With Jake, there's an underlying assumption there that whenever Bella is ready to move on and date, he'll be the first in line, and it probably makes Bella uncomfortable. I don't think Jacob even realizes it, though."Embry was mostly just thinking to himself at this point.

"OK, enough Dr. Phil for one afternoon," Paul stated. "I'm soooo sick of hearing about Bella Swan at this point that I'm sorry I ever thought of her….. at least with you two phased in with me," he added in with a sarcastic laugh.

I was thankful when Jacob phased in to pick up the next patrol slot. He had just missed the last bit of conversation. I gave him a mental nod and headed my furry butt in the direction of my house, found my stash of clothes, and phased human. Although the conversation with Paul and Embry could have technically gone worse and by worse I mean only if they had outright asked about me imprinting on Bella. Now I had to worry about the fact that they were interpreting my lack of interest in girls as my being gay. I didn't feel right about just dating some random girl for the sake of getting the guys off my back, either. It's not cool to jerk someone around like that and I just don't have it in me. I couldn't imagine actually having to kiss some girl who I had no interest in and those would be the details the guys would be looking for in my thoughts. I hoped that maybe my explanation about Leah would maybe get me off the hook. I should have known better.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but it was a natural stopping point for this part and is setting up an important future plot point. Thanks so much for all the reviews! Some of you seem to have a good idea where the story is going, but I'll let it unfold so you can discover it as we go. XOXO


	9. Chapter 9

_Previously: I hoped that maybe my explanation about Leah would maybe get me off the hook. I should have known better. _

Ch 9: Seth

After the ill-fated discussion that day with Embry and Paul it seems that they chose to launch what I like to call "Operation Get Seth Laid". Mostly it consisted of Embry and Paul pointing out every random girl we saw who had a pulse and trying to get me to a) make eye contact so that I could see if she was my imprint and then when that obviously failed, b) get her phone number or ask her out. I figured out what they were doing after they had asked me to go with them to the mall in Port Angeles one Saturday. I didn't want to go. I hated shopping. I wanted to be at home… surfing…. with Bella. But you can't give that as your excuse when you're trying to convince werewolf womanizers that you're not into dudes. Not to mention that it was February and the Pacific waves were cold enough to nearly freeze a werewolf.

So we went to the mall and I endured a parade of highly made-up, overly perfumed, giggly, push-up bra-wearing teenage girls and was not even a little bit impressed. Embry somehow ended up making out with one of them in a service hallway behind the food court… but that was Embry… all class. I tried to redeem the day by picking up a new CD, and then we started to head back toward La Push.

I'd had my forehead resting up against the window, watching the blur of green trees pass by through the glass. I couldn't believe I was finally a senior. Bella had finished her courses at community college and followed through with her dream. She opened up her own bakery right there in La Push. It was so funny when she finally told everyone about it. Bella said she really needed to call a "pack meeting", but of course she couldn't do that. Everyone in the pack loved her so much at that point we just laughed and showed up at Sam and Emily's like she'd asked us, though. Even Paul had softened up towards her. I guess it's hard to hate someone who is keeping your kitchen stocked with butterscotch blondies. Bella had a way of knowing everyone's favorite. It's just who she is. My mind wandered back to the night of that meeting a few months ago.

Once the pack had all been gathered, Bella had seemed nervous. "This might be confusing at first, but please bear with me and let me finish before you ask questions, okay" she eyed Jacob with a smirk. Well" she began breathlessly "you all know I just finished up my classes at school and I was mostly taking some business and cooking courses. I also had to take some general education classes." Some of the wolves nodded. Paul, Jared, and Sam had been taking some classes as well, though mostly online. "One of those classes was a history class and we had to do a project on our own personal history. It was like a genealogy thing… a family tree." Bella twisted her hands nervously as she explained. "So I did a bunch of research and I found out that my great-great grandfather Antonin Swanski was a Russian immigrant who came to this country through Alaska. He married an Inuit woman who died during childbirth, but the baby survived. That son eventually moved southward until he came to the Olympic Peninsula where he came to La Push. Apparently since he was only half Inuit, the Quileuttes weren't crazy about him actually living among the tribe, but he did meet, fall in love with, and marry one of the girls from the tribe. She gave birth to Charlie's dad and Charlie had me so I…." here Bella stammered a bit, unsure of what our responses might be to her story.

"You're Quileutte!" Emily shouted, jumping up to give Bella a hug. "You were always a part of us, but it's amazing to know that you are actually a member of our tribe now, Bella." Bella's eyes were glossy with unshed tears. I found the news of Bella's Quileutte heritage to be informative in a different way. It made so much more sense for me to have imprinted on her now. I might still be the only werewolf in the history of the tribe to have a friend imprint, but at least I'm not also the only one to ever imprint on a pale face. I'm trying to look at the bright side but am grasping at straws here.

Bella continued her speech. "I wasn't sure it was enough Quileutte blood to really count for anything, but I wanted you to know. There's more, though. While doing a "mock business proposal" for one of my other classes I had to research ways of gaining startup funding for my own business. The professor kept stressing about all the small business loans and grants available to women and minorities if we were willing to do the ground work and find them. The paperwork keeps a lot of people from taking advantage of them apparently. Well, I found out that because of my 'native heritage'" here, Bella made little quotes in the air with her fingers "I was able to find enough grants to start my own bakery. If I accept the grants it would be startup money I won't have to pay back. I just have to abide by some restrictions that should be easy enough if you all are behind me. But I wanted everyone's input before I accepted the grants because….. I don't want you to feel like I'm cashing in on having Quilieutte blood when I'm really so ..so… white. I wouldn't want to make you guys feel like I'm taking advantage or trying to exploit your tribe or anything." Bella finished up, biting her lip anxiously.

Jacob scooped Bella up into a giant hug, pulling her feet off the floor and swinging her around. "Air, Jake," Bella choked out.

"This is awesome, Bells! I totally think you should take the money and get your bakery going! You said something about 'restrictions' you'd have to follow, though. What does that mean?" Jake asked.

"Oh! Yes, well basically it means that the shop itself would have to be on the reservation. It also means that the greater part of my employees would have to be of minority status." She said that a little uncomfortably. "I know some of the pack puts in hours at the garage here fixing cars and whatever, but I was wondering… well, hoping that maybe you guys would like jobs working with me. I know how hard it has been for some of you to hold down a job because of your pack duties and everything else. I've thought a lot about it and since I know the 'big secret' here, I could really put all of you guys on payroll and if you guys could just make sure that if patrol comes up or whatever else that I'd be covered with at least one other person then you can have all the flexible hours you want." Bella was practically pleading with us now.

Sam's usually stern face spread into a smile. "That's a great idea, Bella. I can't believe you'd be willing to let these animals into your shop," he chuckled softly, "but I think it would be a great opportunity for the guys to earn a bit of money and also help you get your business going. I still can't believe you're Quileutte! I guess that explains why even despite your obvious paleness you've always seemed like you belong here on the rez with us," he rambled.

_Yeah… that's certainly one possible reason_, I thought to myself.

Suddenly I felt myself pulled from my memories of that night with the pack and Bella. I was still in the back of Embry's car and my body began to vibrate like it does right before I phase. I hadn't phased like this, completely unaware, since the very first time. It's not like I was losing my temper, it was just automatic.

"Shit! Pull Over!" I yelled.

"What! Why?" Embry asked before glancing toward the back seat from his place at the driver's side. "Oh damn!" he yelled. "Calm down , Seth, calm down! What the hell? Hold on, man. I'm pulling over!" Embry was panicking. Me phasing wolf in the confines of a vehicle on the side of the 101 just outside of Port Angeles held a lot of logistical implications that didn't take a physics major to figure out. Too big of a wolf plus too little space equals everything destroyed.

The vibrations were getting worse and I was barely able to keep myself together. "Now, Embry!" I yelled through gritted teeth. In addition to the feeling of my imminent shift, I began to experience pain in my arms and chest. "Oomf!" I huffed out as the pressure increased. What the hell was wrong with me now?

"Hurry, Embry. He's fucking losing it, man." Paul urged Embry on. It felt like forever but it was probably more like 8 seconds later when the car finally pulled over to the side of the highway lined with trees on both sides. Paul had jumped out of the still-moving vehicle and jerked the door open just in time for me to bound out, exploding before my legs were fully out of the car. I accidentally knocked Paul over in the meantime, but since his temper still occasionally caused him some problems he understood that I meant no harm.

I had no idea what was going on, just that the pain in my arm… or I guess now it would be front leg… was worse, so I ran. I ran in a direction that seemed ingrained and automatic although I wasn't sure where I was going. The only thing spurring me on right then was instinct and instinct led me to one of the scariest fucking sights I never wanted to see.

I glanced toward the road and saw what appeared to be Bella's truck with a huge fucking rock crushing most of the front. Radiator fluid had pooled on the ground beneath the cab and the truck's engine had apparently seized. The windshield had buckled inward and rearranged itself into a detailed pattern of concentric spider webs. I couldn't walk easily in either wolf or naked Indian form into the road to check and see the damage to the driver's side, but my heart was pumping so fast I thought it would escape my chest. I felt sick. Deadly sick. And confused. Sure, there was a bit of an incline where the woods climbed away from the road on one side, but it's not like a rock that size could have fallen onto Bella's truck from that angle. It's not like it fell from the top of a tree. Then I smelled it, the unmistakable sickly sweet smell of vampire. Victoria! Fuck!


	10. Chapter 10

_Previously: Then I smelled it, the unmistakable sickly sweet smell of vampire. Victoria! Fuck! _

Ch 10: Seth

Mixed in with the heavy stench that I knew to be Victoria's was one that I would know anywhere. Bella's light strawberry and jasmine scent led me forward as I moved at a cautious pace deeper into the green canopy of the forest. I was aware of other wolves' voices in my head but operating at such an instinctual level that I wasn't communicating with them. Finally I felt Jacob's almost alpha voice break through the animal in my head. "Seth. I'm coming. Hold on, man. Don't do anything stupid. Just see if you can get eyes on Bella and I'll be there in less than five." His panic and determination were fighting for dominance even in his wolf voice.

The scents I was following took me through terrain that could have never contained trails. The undergrowth and number of fallen trees made it impossibility. The forest was so deep in parts that it no pieces of sky could be seen through the treetops. It almost looked dark and certainly felt ominous. My chest was clenching and unclenching with anxiety. I needed to find Bella and I needed to do it now! When the dark-haired leech had almost drained Bella in the meadow that day he'd talked about what Victoria wanted to do when she found her. I relived these memories as if they were my own as Jacob's mind cycled at a frenzied pace. The minutes I was wasting being careful and in waiting on backup might be costing Bella her life… or they might be prolonging whatever demented torture the redhead had been planning out for so long.

Then the wind shifted and I caught a new wave of their combined scents. It was fresher and swirled with the saltiness of Bella's tears. I pushed my enormous body low to the ground as I stepped cautiously through a particularly dense bit of forest. And I saw them; Victoria with her red hair flying wildly about her like flames and Bella, held painfully against a tree by her upraised arms with tears streaming down her face and her mouth in a determined line.

"Thank God she's still alive." Jake prayed. "I'm coming, Seth. I'm coming." I didn't want to immediately rush into the situation and have Victoria panic and kill Bella just to make sure she got the job done, so I watched, steadily moving closer when I could find good cover. It seemed that Victoria was talking to Bella. Her voice was so low that if I wouldn't have been able to hear it without my enhanced senses.

Victoria was pissed. "What I don't understand is how could your mate just leave you, you little piece of shit? I am truly baffled. I mean, even by vampire standards Edward was attractive, but he seemed truly devoted to you, a pathetic human. He didn't just fuck and run, he revealed our secret! He fought to protect you! He killed my mate, James because James wanted to have you! And then he just fucking left!? Why would he do such a thing?" Victoria's voice was crazy but honestly curious. She wanted answers. She needed to know that her mate wasn't killed because of a meaningless fling or obsession. Bella simply listened.

Even with the end of her life dangling dangerously real before her I could see how Victoria's words cut Bella as her eyes that had been bright and frightened suddenly dulled. "I asked you a fucking question you stupid bitch! Why did your mate leave you?" Victoria screamed into Bella's now lowered face.

Bella was forced to answer now. This was the question the pack had wondered about many times over the years as our friendship with Bella grew, but no one had ever gotten the courage to ask her. Maybe no one had wanted to be that much of a dick to ask Bella to reveal the details about most painful event in her life, but Victoria seemed to have no problem stomping on whatever was left of Bella's fragile self esteem.

"He didn't want me." Bella's voice was barely a scratchy whisper, but she went on, knowing that this simple answer was not what Victoria was looking for. "He told me he was tired of pretending to be human with me… in my world and that I didn't belong with him and his. He wanted to move on. It was time for him to move on. He told me that I wasn't…" Bella trailed off here, but Victoria was not going to let this go, and rewarded Bella's unwillingness by squeezing one of her fingers until the tiny bones cracked. Bella barely reacted to the physical pain. Whatever emotions she was reliving at this point were clearly worse than what her body was feeling, but she understood what Victoria was doing and she went on. Her voice was a bit louder, but somehow sounded weaker at the same time.

"He said he didn't want me, he didn't love me and I wasn't good for him. I was never good enough." That last sentence was more of a whisper and with those words I saw through my own pained eyes as Bella gave up. She gave up being smart and looking for ways out of this terrible situation, and she gave up keeping her feelings of worthlessness locked away.

Victoria looked Bella up and down with disdain. "Well… what did you expect… you're so…."

Surprisingly, Bella supplied the answers for her. "Weak. Average. Plain. Boring. Clumsy. Mousy. Pathetic. Naïve?" My heart broke as I heard Bella's description of herself, the reasons why she was never felt good enough for her beloved leech.

Victoria laughed. "I was going to say _human_, but you've done a bang up job of filling in all the details." She looked at Bella's face for a few moments. "You _are_ pathetic. Yet you do not seem afraid. Maybe you actually _want_ to die, to be put out of your misery? Even if I wasn't going to kill you, your life would be nothing but disappointment. You, my little hemoglobin thermos, are ruined for humans anyway. Between those disgusting dogs who guard you with their worthless lives and the good work of our dear Cullens you would never really be able to live a normal human life at all."

I watched Bella's face as she took in what Victoria said to her, absorbing it like rain on sand, accepting it. I had thought that Bella was better. Maybe not completely fixed brand-new, but I had thought that she was happy. She seemed so happy. Then I heard Jake's low growl. I had been so absorbed in the scene before me I wasn't sure whether I heard it mentally or out loud, but my attention was returned to the rescue at hand.

Jacob circled around the scene and decided to approach it from the opposite side as me. His fury at seeing Bella being held against that tree, feet dangling, shoulder jutting at an obviously painful angle made his tactical decision a quick one: kill the vampire bitch now.

Jake's huge form launched itself from behind a tree straight at his undead target. Clearly her instinct for self-preservation was stronger than her desire for revenge so her hand released Bella's arms and Bella's body flopped lifelessly to the forest floor. I wondered briefly if it had all become too much for Bella and she had finally succumbed to unconsciousness, but then I heard her soft whimper. Victoria had snarled menacingly and slashed her arm at Jacob's wolf so quickly I had missed it. Blood poured from a wound that went from his ear to his shoulder. I knew it would heal quickly, but that shit still hurt when it happened and it slowed us down a bit. Jacob's wolf cried out and then growled as he lunged toward the leech again. Victoria was evasive, moving in and out of striking range like a prize fighter. To my knowledge she was still unaware of my presence… but I felt torn. I wanted to rip Victoria to shreds and light her like a fucking firecracker on the fourth of July, but I also needed to check on Bella and really make sure she was okay. Bella seemed to get a grip on herself and came to a sitting position right about the same time Jacob landed a glancing blow to Victoria. His offensive maneuver left him off-balance and vulnerable and Victoria was ready to exploit that opportunity. With Jacob's weight momentarily resting on his right front paw, Victoria kicked at it with a vicious snap, causing Jacob to collapse onto the leg. "Jacob, no!" Bella screamed out. Her sobs were coming out violently as she expended no effort trying to hold them back. Jacob's howl was agonized, but I knew my window of opportunity had just opened and I was ready to jump through it. With Victoria's attention on Jacob's downed form I moved silently toward her back before jumping to her shoulders and knocking her hard cold body to the ground. The surprise on her face didn't last long as it was mere seconds before her head was removed from her body.

I worked quickly at removing the rest of Victoria's ruined limbs and piled them methodically, gagging at the sick taste of vampire flesh between my teeth. I went to Jacob's semi-conscious wolf and phased, pulling his clothing from the tie around his ankle, searching out the lighter in his pants pocket. Soon, Victoria was nothing more than stinking purple smoke and ashes. I turned to Jacob and asked if the rest of the pack was on their way, but heard them myself as the words left my mouth. Jared, Sam, and Quil walked up still pulling their shorts on, having just phased human. Sam threw an extra set of shorts at me and I gratefully pulled them on. Jacob's clothes were still tied to his leg and Sam removed them cautiously while trying to get Jacob to phase back human. Between the gash and the shattered leg, he was in some serious pain, but it was easier to assess the damage when in human form.

Suddenly I remembered Bella and looked over to her. Her wide eyes met mine in a question. "Seth?" she asked tentatively. I just nodded, not knowing what to say. An ordeal like this was probably still working itself out in her mind. She stood up and moved like she wanted to come to me, but turned and saw Jacob's now human body still lying on the ground on the other side of her. She stood in the middle, her head turned back and forth, from one of us to the other and she looked… conflicted for a moment before rushing to Jacob's side.

Her eyes traveled up and down his body with concern and once she was satisfied that he wasn't in mortal danger, Bella launched herself onto Jacob's chest, careful to avoid the shattered arm. "You moron! You complete idiot! What the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed! I could have lost you!" Bella began to sit up, but Jacob used his good arm to hold her body close. "You can't leave me, Jacob. You promised. You can't just do that," she cried, biting back sobs. Bella picked her head up enough to look Jacob in the eye- enough to let him know she was serious, and then it happened. I saw something snap in Bella's face and she leaned forward and put her mouth on Jacob's, her full, pink lips moving frantically on his. The hand on Jacob's good arm moved to Bella's hair, fisting it, pulling her impossibly closer. My imprint and my future alpha were lying on the forest floor devouring each other's mouths while I watched in a daze feeling... happy for her? What the hell was going on!


	11. Chapter 11

Ch 11: Seth

After debriefing the whole Victoria encounter with Sam I did the only thing I could think of, the only thing that would bring me peace. I headed out to Third Beach to surf. I donned a wetsuit in order to maintain appearances but even so, anyone who saw me would think I was completely insane. February in Washington state is cold, and the Pacific was brutally so. But I needed to think, to meditate on what had gone down today.

Sam had wanted details. How did Jacob get hurt, how was Bella when I found her, how did I find her at all. Yeah, that was a tricky one. I was on my way home from the mall… in the car with Paul and Embry… and I accidentally phased. Sam had known the purpose of the mall trip, and had not expected things to go over very well with me. He knew just how much the guys had been riding me about the girl situation, and didn't approve. Apparently the idea of my being forced to hunt down unsuspecting teenage girls and then being locked in a car with Paul for the ride back home was enough of an explanation for Sam as to why I might phase accidentally. After that it was just a matter of following the smell of leech, and then discovering Bella's truck. Those details made plenty of sense all on their own.

Aside from that, Sam said he was proud of me for not charging right in after Bella, for waiting for Jacob, and for ultimately being the one to take down Victoria. He was breathing a veritable sigh of relief that one of the most elusive vampires we'd ever had to deal with was finally gone. Done were the animal attacks around Forks and the constant vigil over Bella's every move. Bella….

What was confusing the hell out of me right then was the situation with Bella and Jacob. When we were all there in the woods Bella had looked so confused, but then she ran to him. She wanted him. After all those years of resisting and pulling the friend card and swearing that she could never be with Jacob because of his possible future imprinting, she went to him. I knew they were best friends, maybe even closer than Bella and I were, but I just didn't see this happening. And now it had. I know Bella was grateful toward Jacob for protecting her, and I know she was terrified that he was hurt, but she also wasn't the kind of person to jump into a relationship without counting the cost. Bella wouldn't have kissed Jake like that if she wasn't willing to put all her chips in and love him fully. So where did that leave me?

I guess there was a distinct possibility that I would be the first ever permanent "friend imprint". Maybe I would always just be there to support and encourage and have some fun with Bella. Yet if that was the case, then I didn't really understand the point of imprinting in the first place. Clearly I am supposed to give my imprint whatever she needs, and by golly I was doing a bang up job because apparently my imprint needed Jacob Black's tongue down her throat because I looked on perfectly fucking happy for her. But what was I getting out of this imprint. Yeah, I was content and thrilled with our friendship, but from the wolfy standpoint that caused all this mess… what was the point. I mean, if Sam was right and the point of imprinting was to create stronger wolves then did that mean I would never get to have children? Would I be so pathetically and helplessly devoted to my friendship with Bella that I would never fall in love, get married, have babies or cubs or whatever the hell my mutant spawn turned out to be? I was eighteen and not looking for any of that now, but what about later… would my whole life be about watching Bella's happiness and living vicariously through her and Jacob's family? Bella was twenty one, Jacob was 20… how long do people wait these days before popping out puppies?

In all, I guess it didn't even matter because it was fucking inescapable. If the imprint was true, and Lord knows it was after that freaky sympathetic arm pain I'd experienced, then I'd be pathetic and happy about it like the jolly asshole I was. Great.

The water turned choppy in addition to being cold and I decided to call it a day. I grabbed my crap and put everything away in the shed and headed into the house to see about some food. Charlie and Sue were nowhere to be found but had left a note about attending some type of craft festival in a nearby town and grabbing dinner out, so that was a strikeout. The only good option left to me was begging at Sam and Emily's so that's where I headed. Before I'd even made it to the porch I caught the sound of Sam's loud voice from within. It sounded less than happy, so I briefly considered turning around before they even realized I was there but when I noticed Emily on the porch I knew Sam wasn't angry with her. I made eye contact and stood still, listening.

"It's a bad idea, Jacob. She's not right for you," Sam bellowed, though not using his alpha voice. I felt a surge of anger. What right did Sam have in trying to take away Bella's newfound happiness with Jacob.?

"It's not your business, Sam. I love you. I've always loved her. I choose to be with Bella," Jacob ground out angrily.

"She is not meant for you, Jacob," Sam replied calmly.

"Yes she is. Just because she's not my imprint it doesn't mean that we're not right together. We're perfect together. She's my best friend. She's the only girl I see," Jacob argued defensively.

Sam and I both snorted at that one. Jacob wasn't an asshole, but he also wasn't an angel. I didn't doubt his love for Bella, and it's not like they were dating at the time, but a summer's worth of making out and hand jobs behind the rec center courtesy of Kayla Whitefeather last year hardly testified to Jacob's ability to see _only_ Bella.

"I love her, Sam. Imprint or no imprint, _she_ is who I want," Jacob said as if the subject was closed.

"And when you imprint, Jacob? What then? Does she even know that it is a possibility? I don't want to see Bella like that again… the way she was after Cullen." Sam was haunted by the memory of how Bella looked when he found her that night, comatose, empty, broken.

"That won't happen Sam. I promised her I wouldn't leave her. I've promised it for years. I could never do that to her!"

"You wouldn't have a choice, Jacob! How could you make those promises? Promises you know you couldn't keep?" Now Sam was getting angry.

"It won't happen, Sam. I won't let it. I'll fight the imprint. I'm strong. My love for Bella is strong. I wouldn't do that to her, I'm not that weak." Jacob's voice was growling now, but he was skating on thin ice. The subject was a touchy one for Sam and I understood why Emily had stepped out to offer them privacy. I realized that I'd never actually heard Sam get angry before. Yeah, he got irritated with us guys when we goofed off too much, but his control was nearly perfect. Nearly… Emily's unfortunate face would attest to that.

"You think I'm weak?" Sam was yelling now. I could imagine him raising his body up to its impressive full height of 6 ft 6 to look down at Jacob. Barely. "You think I left Leah because I wasn't strong enough, because I didn't fight for her? Do you think I wanted to destroy her? To turn her into the bitter, miserable bitch she is today? Do you, you selfish little shit? Well at least I didn't do it to Leah knowingly. I can't help that I loved her before I phased, but you are doing this to Bella knowing full well what could happen…. And _when_, not _if_, but _when_ it does you are going to have to face the wrath of all of your brothers…. Because they love that girl like she is their own… like she is blood… like she is pack." Sam's voice gave way to silence that might have indicated shock or just that the mother of all stare-downs was going on inside the little cottage. As Sam's words swirled around in my head Emily's low voice caught my attention.

"Seth. Sam didn't mean that the way it sounded. He wasn't trying to call Leah names or talk bad about her. He's just so worried, Seth. He doesn't want to see both of your sisters to be destroyed by this.

My mind was reeling with all of this new information and I knew I had a lot of things to consider… but Emily's words ran on repeat… both of your sisters. I'd never thought of Bella as a sister, ever. I didn't think she thought of me as a brother… an annoying little brother who was always around to pester her… crap! I hoped that wasn't how Bella thought of me, but I didn't think so. Annoying little brothers don't teach you to surf and share their stash and teach you how to shoot whisky and dismember and burn insane vampires who are trying to kill you. Those were things done by friends… and we were best friends.

Jacob pushed his way outside then, the screen door flapping on its hinges behind him. "Goodnight Emily. Seth. Great job today. And thanks. Thanks for saving Bells. I just…. Thanks." His words rang with sincerity, with the fear of what he could have lost.

"Anytime, Jake. Anything for Bella. And congrats to you two for finally… well for finally whatever the two of you are. Just make sure you take care of her, man." I realized I truly meant all of this just as the words came out of my mouth.

"Sure, sure." Jake replied with a wave and headed away from the house.

I turned my head towards Emily and she was already moving toward the front door. "Are you staying for dinner, Seth? With all of today's excitement I didn't get to the grocery store like I had planned, but let's go see what I can throw together for you and Sam… I know how picky you boys can be," Emily joked as I followed her into the house.


	12. Chapter 12

… _I know how picky you boys can be," Emily joked as I followed her into the house. _

Ch 12: Seth

The night I had overheard the conversation between Sam and Jacob really got me thinking about things. First off, I realized maybe Sam wasn't the giant asshole I had always thought. The fact that he was concerned about Bella getting hurt the way Leah had been told me that he still felt bad about the whole situation. The next thing I realized was that Jacob had been pressing Bella for this relationship 'upgrade' for years, knowing that she was terrified of him possibly imprinting, and he had the nerve to fucking promise her that it wouldn't happen. I wonder if she believed him. She had to know that it wasn't something he was in control of. The idea of him lying to her was not cool. Thirdly, I realized that my imprint works so that when Bella is happy, I'm happy. Right now, Jacob was making her feel happy and wanted. She was feeling safer than ever because the threat that was Victoria had been destroyed and she was feeling optimistic about getting her business up and running.

I had gone with Bella to check out what would be the location of her bakery and future apartment. One of the storefronts on the little downtown La Push boasted 2 blocks over from First Beach had been abandoned for years. There was space above the shop that could be converted into a loft style apartment. I was a little disappointed by the thought of her not living at the house with me and my mom and Charlie (and Leah when she came home occasionally), but I also realized that Bella was an adult. The prospect of her having her own place made her so excited that I couldn't help but share in that with her. The building itself was in such poor shape that Bella's grant money would actually be enough to buy the property, but there would need to be extensive renovations, rewiring, plumbing, the works before it was ready to house a business, much less a human. The pack had already pledged its skilled hands toward getting the place fixed up, but with our werewolf duties and various other commitments, work was slow going. Bella was so grateful for everything we did that she never complained when things were taking longer than we had first projected. Probably a lot of the reason she wasn't complaining was because of Jacob.

I had worried in some small part of my brain that when Jacob and Bella finally started dating it would mean that I'd never get to spend time with Bella. I was surprised to find myself proven wrong. Oftentimes she and Jacob were at the house watching movies or she had invited Jacob over for dinner with the whole family. There were still plenty of mornings or afternoons for just me and Bella at Third Beach or in the shed. In fact, I began to wonder if all the time Bella spent with Jacob was also spent with the family or the rest of the pack. I'd caught a couple of glimpses into Jacob's head on a recent patrol and while I wasn't thrilled with seeing him and Bella kissing on his worn out loveseat I also noticed that it didn't last all that long. I knew better than to say anything to Jacob, noting the frustrated tone of his thoughts and decided I might ask Bella if the time was right.

After an afternoon of great waves, Bella and I stretched out along our boards soaking in the milky sunlight and I finally probed…. "So how's things with Jaaaacob," I sung out like a little kid. She laughed her amazing bell chimes laugh. "Good. They're good." She nodded as if affirming to herself.

"Just 'good'?" I asked. "Are you sure? Seems like all you guys ever do is hang around the house with the whole family. I guess you'll be glad when we finally get your place finished and you can move in." I said.

"Oh.. well… whenever everyone has time is fine. I understand how busy everyone is," Bella added.

It almost sounded like she didn't really want to move out. She had been so excited when we found the place a month ago. What had changed? "What is it, Bella? Do you not want to go? I know Charlie wouldn't mind you staying at the house for a while,yet. But the apartment's not far from any of our houses. You know you'd be safe… besides..I bet Jake will be there with you most of the time anyway, so it won't even really be like living alone. I'm sure you'll both be glad for the privacy."

That's when Bella hung her head. "I don't know Seth, sometimes I think that I don't want all that privacy." _Oh shit. Now what have I started._

"Whatcha saying, Bella?" I asked, playing with her hand, opening and closing her fingers one at a time.

"I guess I thought being with Jake would be _different_… easier. Like how it was when we were just friends? Everything was so effortless and we could talk.. you know, about _most_ things." I knew she had never really been able to open up much about Edward or the Cullens because just mentioning them got Jake so worked up.

"Yeah, you guys were the best of friends.. so what's different?" I honestly wanted to know.

"_Jake's _different," She answered. "Or maybe he's not different. Maybe he's always been this way… pushing a little bit. When we were friends he's push to hold my hand, when we held hands he'd push to have his arms around me, with his arms around me he'd push to smell my hair, after smelling my hair he'd want to kiss me. He's always been pushing, really." She sighed, sounding tired.

"But you're still happy." It was a statement. I knew she was happy. I could feel that through our bond whether she realized it or not.

"Yes. But he's not." She said, looking down, then out at the water. "He can't be happy with me, just me loving him. It has to be more. He's still pushing." She said a little sadly.

I was lost for a minute about what she meant, and then it hit me. "You mean he's pushing you physically? Like he's pushing you and it's not something you're ready for?_ Sexually_?" I blurted out like a dumbass, totally and completely crass.

Bella didn't want to answer. She turned those huge brown eyes on me and chewed her fat bottom lip. Her head moved up and down once, definitively. I began to seethe internally. _What the fuck!_ "The thing is.." she started… "the thing is… I'd only ever kissed Edward. And I couldn't even open my mouth when I kissed him, so it was like almost a year of the sweet, innocent, nothing kisses. And then I'm with Jake and it's like no holds barred, passionate, tongue in my mouth kinda kissing…. Like totally new stuff for me. And I'm not a prude. I like it. It's just maybe I'd like some time to enjoy it for a while, you know? Maybe I want to _just_ kiss him for a while before he's got his hands all over my ass. Or he's trying to get my bra unhooked before I notice it. It's not that I don't want to move forward ever, but it's only been like 3 months. I just need to know he's happy. I want him to be happy with me whatever we're doing just because it's us, not because of where it's headed in the end. I feel shitty even saying that because it's Jake, you know. He's been waiting for me for like.. forever… but I just… I need to be sure. I need to feel like we're not racing toward the end goal. I need to feel like whatever we do, whenever we do it, we're expressing how we feel, not just…." Bella trailed off, her words failing her.

"Not just barreling toward a finish line?" I finished for her. She nodded and gave me a watery smile.

"Really, I'm not a prude. Believe it or not, with Edward I was always the one pushing the boundaries. I could never even say that to Jake because… well you know. But it was me always wanting more. I wanted everything with him because I loved Edward. I felt like there was nothing I could do to express to him _enough_ what he really meant to me. I didn't feel bad about that because my heart and my body matched up, you know. I was sure about it."

"Then why didn't you guys… you know?" I couldn't stop myself from asking. Stupid stupid werewolf.

"Because he thought he's lose control if he got caught up in the moment and end up killing me." She answered simply. Of course. Stupid vampire. "And really, if you can't get caught up in the moment it sort of defeats the purpose." She said, surprising me. I laughed and so did she.

"But I'm glad in the end that Edward was an uptight control freak because he obviously didn't feel for me what I felt for him. I would have given him everything and felt like a fool when he left. A bigger fool than I already did. It's one thing to tell someone"… she trailed off. "It's different to break someone after you've slept together. I just can't imagine sharing that and still not being good enough." She looked down, silent. It was as close as she'd ever come to telling me outright was Edward had said to her in the woods that day. Sure, I'd heard it when she'd been forced to tell Victoria, but I don't think she realized that I'd heard her then. Now she was volunteering that big part of herself- that broken, barely welded back together part, and I felt humbled and thankful all at once. I was also fairly pissed at Jacob. I didn't get him… like… at all. He got the girl of his dreams, the one he'd been chasing for years. He got to touch her and kiss her and hold her, but she still couldn't talk to him about some of the most significant parts of her life.

Bella was right, Jacob did push. Three months ago Jacob would have given a limb to have Bella tell him she loved him and to kiss her goodnight each night, but now that was all chump change. I wondered briefly if there was something about being a werewolf that made this so. I mean, if me being imprinted was completely satisfying in every way, then maybe when you were with someone you weren't imprinted on it would ultimately be unsatisfying no matter what. It made sense that if your imprint satisfied your soul, that dating the wrong girl for you would always leave your wolf wanting. If you were dissatisfied your wolf would keep looking for its imprint, its one perfect match. I thought about what Bella had said about not having been good enough for Edward and cringed at my new theory. If I was correct, Bella was setting herself up for the same type of rejection again. I didn't know what to do about that and I wasn't even sure I was correct, so coward that I am, I kept my mouth shut.

"Hey Bella," I nudged her leg with mine. "Wanna go back and help me put the boards away? I stopped by Paul's house yesterday afternoon and…""

"Hell yeah!" Bella cut me off. Paul's house was known for one thing.. okay maybe two things… random slutty girls hanging around, and the best rez grown weed you could find. That man had a green thumb… and if he didn't slow down his other hobby he'd probably have a green something else if he wasn't careful… seriously some of those girls he slept with… gross.

I was pulled from my disturbing train of thought as Bella reached her hand toward mine, wordlessly asking me to pull her up standing from her sitting position. She flashed me a grin and I yanked, pulling her into my chest for a hug. Bella inhaled deeply against my chest and I swear I felt my heart grow. "You always know just what I need to feel better," she murmured.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," I answered in a voice that told her she was full of it. Bella smiled up at me, a real smile that told me she was cheered up. "Love you, Seth," she said softly, with her real smile. _Love you back, Bella_, I answered in my thoughts.

* * *

A/N : Thanks for sticking with me during the slow buildup... doesn't it just make things sweeter in the end? I've been amazed by how many people have favorited the story and the great reviews. This has been really fun. Thanks!


	13. Chapter 13

_Previously: "Yeah, yeah, I know," I answered in a voice that told her she was full of it. Bella smiled up at me, a real smile that told me she was cheered up. "Love you, Seth," she said softly, with her real smile. Love you back, Bella, I answered in my thoughts. _

Ch 13: Seth

The months after my little chat with Bella seemed to fly by. Maybe it was because it was my senior year and there was a lot going on, or maybe it was because of the lack of vamp action in the area, or maybe it was because Bella was so freaking happy, but I felt pretty darn good. Somehow things with Jake had perked up a bit as far as his relationship with Bella went. I don't know if it had anything to do with the way I strategically replayed in my mind parts of that conversation I'd had with Bella that day on the beach, but Jacob seemed to calm the fuck down with his handsy self and take things more at Bella's pace. That seemed to be working pretty well for him since the more content he seemed to be with where he and Bella were at physically, the more she seemed comfortable in pushing the envelope herself. Sometimes I don't understand women, but whatever.

They still hadn't crossed _**that**_ line yet, for which I was eternally grateful because I'd gotten more than one glimpse of Bella's hand sliding in Jacob's shorts and at least one good frontal of Bella's tits via wolf-o-vision when patrolling with Jake and I couldn't help but mentally wince. He apologized immediately, citing "Not cool. Sister. I get it." And then he proceeded to mentally catalog all the rocks and plants as he passed them by. I didn't correct his assumption, though. Maybe that was a trait I'd picked up from being around Bella all the time. If Jacob wanted to think that Bella and I were like siblings, then let him. He'd be wrong in that thought, but that was his problem, not mine. I didn't care as long as he was keeping Bella happy… and he really was making her happy.

I, on the other hand, was being ribbed mercilessly for my ongoing virginity, my potentially closeted homosexuality, and at the very least, my lack of desire to get with any girl in the nearby vicinity. Paul and Embry had gotten so bad that I avoided them as completely as possible. There were constant offers to set me up with someone, to give me a phone number, to teach me the mechanics if that was what I was worried about. Trust me, with the combined experience of the guys in my pack having been relived in vivid detail in almost first person way, the last thing I needed was someone to explain the mechanics of how to please a woman. I'd seen many pleased women in many more positions and compromising situations than I thought possible. I was probably the most experienced virgin ever in existence. It was really a bit sad. As was the situation I found myself in just after escaping a torture session with Embry and Paul who had ambushed me and were trying to explain the importance of manual stimulation. In an effort to escape them and the horrific discussion I sought out and found Quil.

Quil was at home reading with with Claire who was now 5 years old. He was as happy as could be as she snuggled against his chest and looked at the pictures while he read aloud. Sometimes I felt like Quil had been forced to the outskirts of the pack when he imprinted on Claire. Sure we all loved the guy, but something changed in him when he went from chasing skirts with Paul and Embry to watching Dora the Explorer with Claire. While he was perfectly fulfilled in spending his time this way, it was hard for the other guys to share in it with him, and since he wanted to spend as much time possible with Claire he ended up spending a lot less time with the guys. I didn't know why I hadn't thought about it before- how difficult it must be for him to have such a young imprint, how it makes him so different from the rest of us. Even though my imprint was still a secret at least the girl I imprinted on was able to hang around us and do the same things we did; the bonfires and beers and whatever. Hell, my imprint was my best friend, my surfing partner, and one of the best bakers ever. Bella was such a cool chick.

I sat down heavily in a chair across from Quil and Claire and listened as he read the last half of The Giving Tree. I vaguely remembered that one from my own childhood and smiled as I thought about how really good children's books take on new meaning as we grow up. I was also thinking about how much I felt like that fucking tree sometimes. Imprinting- gah! Quil looked up at me and said "What are you thinking about, dork?"

"I was just thinking that I really like that book. I had forgotten about it, but I remember it from when I was little. What about you, you seem off somehow." Quil's expression darkened a bit.

"I was just thinking about how this book should be made into the unofficial imprint handbook," he said, picking up on my thoughts almost exactly.

"Yeah, tell me about it,"I replied, not realizing I said the words aloud. I pinched my eyes shut instantly and tried to breathe normally all the while trying to think of some lie, some bizarre reason for my having said that to Quil.

When I opened my eyes Quil's were staring at me. Really looking hard at my own eyes. I waited and waited. It felt like the silence before the first clap of thunder in a violent storm; all static and the air heavy with rain that is just waiting to fall. The silence was broken by Claire as she tapped her tiny hand against Quil's chest. "This one next, Quil," she said, handing him something by Dr. Seuss. I got up to vacate the house, unsure of what had happened, of what Quil had decided after that intense moment and he looked up at me. His mouth was in a firm line and he gave a short nod, but kept on reading the book, eyes only for Claire at that point. I was thankful he was occupied for now. I had no idea what would happen once he left Claire's but maybe I'd at least have a chance to get my story straight before the shit hit the fan.

To my surprise, it never did. Quil never mentioned that afternoon to me or anyone else as far as I could tell. I don't know why. I don't know if maybe I just overreacted, but I was glad. Bella was so happy with Jacob right then I couldn't bear to be the cause of any problems between them. They had told each other "I love you", and their relationship was progressing toward actual sex. I wasn't sure how I felt about that one yet, so I tried not to think about it. I thought about everything else in Bella's life, though. Things were progressing with the remodel of her bakery and loft space. Everything was looking up for Bella right then and I didn't want to screw that up by having to tell her that yes I was imprinted on her, but that I was in no way a threat to her and Jacob and I wish her the best. Really, how weird would things get then? I can just imagine that conversation: _Yes, you are supposed to be my wolfy soul mate, yes our parents will be getting married in two months, yes I am 18 while you are 21 and a few months old, but really I just want to be your friend and make sure no vampires eat you and that you stay happy forever. _No thank you. Not a conversation I wanted to have.

In an effort to keep everyone I knew happy and to appear somewhat normal I had finally decided to give in to Embry and Paul's constant teasing, ribbing, nagging or whatever you want to call it by letting them set me up on a date. I made it clear that I was only doing this to make them happy and show that I am not afraid of girls and that I do find them attractive. Unfortunately their response to that was that they expected to see just how attracted to girls I was when I phased to give them the after-date details. Of course it couldn't be just any date, either. It was my senior prom. It was cliché and tacky and something I was not at all interested in going to, particularly with a girl I didn't know and had no interest in, and especially when my pack was hoping I'd get lucky and then dish the gory details. No pressure. _Right, Seth. _

I'd confided to Bella that the guys were making me go to prom and she'd given me a sad smile and rubbed my back sympathetically. "Prom sucks." She said simply. "Would you feel any better if I went with you to pick out your tux and shoes and the girl's corsage and everything?" she asked in her sweetly enticing voice.

I accepted her offer without hesitation because any chance I got to spend time with Bella was an opportunity not to be wasted, even when it meant shopping for rented dress clothes for a date that wasn't with her for an occasion I didn't give a shit about. Two days before prom, Bella and I headed toward Port Angeles to the tux rental place. I'd already called them with my measurements so they'd have the few things they carried in my size ready for us when we got there. I was not a fan of shopping and the less time in the store the better. Bella and I really did have so much in common it wasn't funny. On the way there we talked and sang along to the radio and laughed and sat in silence. Sometimes I held her hand because it was Bella and that's just what we did. We were best friends and it was a good time… until we got to the tux shop.

The place was housed in an older cottage-type building that was set among the other shops in the downtown area. I smelled the slightly unpleasant odor of the dry cleaning chemicals used on the rentals as we walked in the door, but was at least thankful to know they laundered the clothes. A feminine looking man in his mid forties came from a curtained off are for employees only and raised his eyebrows toward us in question. "Seth Clearwater. I called earlier with my measurements."

"Yes. You _are_ a big guy, aren't you? But I did manage to find a few options that could suit you." He chuckled at his pun. "Right this way." Four suits were displayed on garment hangers and I looked to Bella with a question on my face. "Deferring to the lady might be a good idea if she has good taste, and I can see from looking at you she must." He simpered. Ugh!

Bella's face colored slightly as I caught the implications of what he'd said a little late. She just winked at me and played along. "I don't know, honey, I think I'll have to see them on you to tell." She said evilly, playing along with the salesman…seamstress…whatever the hell he was.

"Fashion show!" the man sang and stuffed me into a tiny curtained room with the first of the suits. "Let me know if you need help figuring out anything in there." He said. _Thanks, dipshit_. _I might not wear a tux every day, but I think I know how to put on pants and button a shirt, okay?_

I struggled with the first suit and knew right away that the pants were a no-go. My thighs were too big, and I don't mean that in a girly way. My leg muscles were freakishly developed and my thighs were gonna bust the seams of the pants if I tried to pull them up all the way. I shoved that suit outside the curtain and called out "Next!" Then next one was also a negative because although the pants worked, the jacket was too tight across the shoulders. "Nope!" I shoved the second suit through the curtain. The third suit was nice. I liked it well enough, but wanted to compare it to the fourth before I got anyone else involved, so I had just started pulling the pants off when the lovely salesclerk popped his head in the curtain and glanced down at my progress with a "how are we doing in here?"

"What the hell!" I shouted and he popped his head right back out.

"Oh dear, I hope you were at least wearing underwear today, honey." Bella called out to me over the curtain enjoying my misery and absolute embarrassment. She was every bit as shy as I was, but her sense of humor was pretty wicked sometimes. She also knew that most of us wolves did in fact go commando on a regular basis. One less layer to have to peel off, I guess.

The last suit worked as well and I knew I'd make Bella choose between them for me, so I stepped out in it. Her eyes flashed to mine for a minute and there was something there like… surprise maybe. I wondered what that was about. "You look great, Seth" she managed to choke out softly. All the teasing was gone from her voice and her eyes.

"I like this one and another one. I need you to choose," I told her. She widened her eyes and nodded in response so I stepped back to swap out the tux. When I stepped back into the main room again she was looking at me with anticipation. I watched as she cocked her head and bit her lip a little. I couldn't tell for once if that was a good or bad thing. "You don't like it." I said and turned to go change.

"No!" Bella practically yelled. "I do like it. A lot. You look…. ." She trailed off. "You should definitely go with this one," she stated.

"You're sure?" I asked her. I had been split even between the two.

"I'm sure." She bit her lip again, nodding. I changed and gathered all the pieces of the suit into the bag and headed up to pay where Bella was waiting for me at the front.

As the clerk swiped my debit card he asked us with a smile "So is Saturday the big day?" We both nodded, not trying to make additional small talk with the guy. "Well, congratulations to you" he said to me and then turned to Bella with an even bigger smile saying "and best wishes to you, my dear. I'm sure you will be a beautiful bride. The love you have for one another is just impossible to miss." And with that he handed me my bag, reminded me to have one of my groomsmen return the tux by Monday at the close of business, and wished us a good day.


	14. Chapter 14

**_A/N:Sorry for the lack of regular updates. I found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant and have been in a freak-out about it for a few weeks… back to reality and now.....the show. This is for all the reviewers who were starting to get antsy about the story moving forward....._**

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_Previously: "Well, congratulations to you" he said to me and then turned to Bella with an even bigger smile saying "and best wishes to you, my dear. I'm sure you will be a beautiful bride. The love you have for one another is just impossible to miss." And with that he handed me my bag, reminded me to have one of my groomsmen return the tux by Monday at the close of business, and wished us a good day._

Seth Ch 14:

To say that the ride back to La Push was awkward is like saying the Super Bowl is a football game. True, but way understated. Bella stared out the window biting her lip while I stared ahead at the road, white knuckling the steering wheel and debating how to address the sales clerk's comment. Letting it go didn't seem to be working. We'd already had 15 minutes of that and the silence was soooo thick. Really I couldn't figure out what Bella was upset about because she'd clearly been playing along with the whole couple scenario, at least until I actually stepped out in my tux. Then she'd gotten kind of weird, but I couldn't see what the real issue was for her. For me… yeah. I didn't need someone pointing out to Bella that I was in love with her. Or really that I loved her. I wasn't _in_ love with her. And she had just been yanking my chain with the other comments. My mind was processing at lightning speed. I can't believe the guy thought I was getting married. I was eighteen! I think maybe that should be my angle then.

"Can you believe that guy back there?" I asked Bella with a carefully affected note of incredulity. "Like anyone gets married at 18 anymore! What is it, fricking 1910?" I chanced a look at Bella from the corner of my eye. She turned to me and caught my eye as much as possible when trying to still allow me to safely operate a car.

"You haven't looked eighteen for a long time, Seth." Her voice was low. "And I'm certainly old enough to consider marriage by most people's standards."

I didn't know what to make of that comment and I still couldn't understand why she sounded so down. Maybe she wanted to marry Jacob and he was dragging his feet? I couldn't really see that being the case.

"All I know is that our parents will be giving off enough newlywed vibes for the whole reservation after the wedding and I don't think I could stomach another wedding very soon so I hope you and Jake aren't getting any ideas yet." I joked.

Bella's head snapped in my direction so fast I thought she'd get whiplash. "What! No! He isn't getting any ideas yet is he? I just don't think…. I don't think I'm ready for all that yet. Let Charlie and Sue have their day in the spotlight. It's not really my thing. I just… I can't imagine myself getting married anytime soon at all."

I was relieved. It was shitty that I felt so relieved, but it was true. So I changed the subject. "So my mom and Charlie are going away this weekend you know, and my mom was really upset that I didn't tell her until last minute that I was even going to prom so I promised her I'd get someone to stand in for her and take pictures and everything. Do you think you could help me out with that tomorrow night?" I gave her my best puppy dog eyes.

"Of course I'll be there! I was actually planning on being home anyway. Since the house was going to be empty I had sort of planned on cooking Jake a nice dinner and staying in. I'd be glad to take some pictures of you and your date. You said she's coming to pick you up, right?"

A nice dinner in with Jacob. Alone in the house while our parents are out of town and I'm at the prom. Shit shit shit. They were planning on having sex! I knew it! Fuck. Keep calm. Stay in control. Answer her question.

"Yeah. Paul set me up with this girl from the Makah reservation and said she has some sort of awesome car and that she'd probably rather drive that, so she's coming here."

Bella's eyes went wide. "Paul set you up? With a girl from the Makah res? What's her name, Seth?" Her voice was slightly raised.

"Ummmm… Shelly or Sara or… no. Wait. It sounds like a witch name…." I was totally drawing a blank. Not a good sign when I had to spend the whole next evening with the girl. Shit.

"Sabrina?" Bella asked. "Did Paul set you up with Sabrina, Seth?" Bella's voice was now taking on a clearly panicked note.

"Sabrina!" I snapped my fingers. "Yes! She is from the Makah res and her name is Sabrina!" I'd finally remembered and recited everything I knew about tomorrow's date.

"I cannot believe that _asshole_!" Bella fumed. I was lost here.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked, legitimately concerned. I wondered if Paul was being his usual dickhead self and trying to pull one over on me by setting me up with a girl who weighed in excess of 300 pounds or was missing some prominent teeth. It would be just like Paul, too, making the girl drive to me so that I'd feel bad and have to take her to prom anyway.

"I just cannot believe Paul set you up with Sabrina "the ho" La'koh. Seriously! And you had no idea!" Bella was so beautiful when she was angry. I was having a hard time focusing on what she was actually saying.

"Coke-bottle Sabrina?" Bella spit out, raising her eyebrows, looking at me for signs of recognition.

"Oh fuck! That's my prom date? Fucking Paul!" I can't even think about the story behind the coke bottle reference without feeling a little sick and I unfortunately had to see the whole thing in Paul's head one night. Apparently it was a story that had made its way beyond the pack mind and become somewhat common knowledge. My mental image of a sweet girl arriving at my house driving a mustang or something like it was quickly replaced with an image of Sabrina and her van with a black light and mattress in the back. "Fuck!" I spit out again. "Why the hell would Paul set me up with her?" I asked, instantly grossed out by the idea of having his sloppy seconds.

But as soon as I said it I knew. And Bella seemed to know even before I asked. "She's a sure thing. Easy score. Paul was doing everything possible to get you laid tomorrow." Bella said in a small voice, sounding detached. I couldn't process what Bella's tone was about. I was more concerned with what my date's identity had meant. If I went to prom with Sabrina and didn't have sex with her it would only be because of something I did wrong or chose not to do. Sabrina was more than game…. For a lot of things, apparently. I had been set up. I would either have to have sex with this girl or the pack would be convinced that I was absolutely gay. Or worse. They'd finally figure out the truth about Bella. I had no excuse. I had a willing partner who… ho or not… was really attractive and drove what was essentially a motel on wheels. Nope. No way out of that one. I'm so screwed… literally.

I spent the rest of that evening trying to reach either Paul or Embry by phone which was a long shot since neither of them were typically home, but I was hoping to find some way of breaking thing off. I ran the typical routes in wolf form and finally collapsed in my bed sometime past midnight totally exhausted and more than a bit angry.

I ran a mid-morning patrol and was in an uncharacteristically shitty mood. Afterwards, I grabbed my surfboard and headed to Third Beach in search of some peace and solitude and found it. Or at least I resolved myself to what I knew was happening tonight. Bella and Jake had clearly planned for tonight to be "the night" for that last important step, and I was apparently going to lose my virginity as well, but to a girl I cared nothing about. This had to be one of the worst days ever, but if I didn't fix my inner-monologing into something a bit more excited it would show through in my memories which would really defeat the whole purpose of going through with it. I wished there was some way of just blocking out the whole night from the pack like I could block out my imprinting on Bella, but it couldn't work. It was one thing to hide something that no one had any clue about. It was something different altogether when the guys would be anticipating something and knew exactly what to search for in my head and how to trigger certain thoughts. There was no way to fake this, no way around it. I headed back home and toward the shed. I stored my surfing gear and headed upstairs to the shower. Bella was arranging ingredients for her dinner on the kitchen counter and I wasn't even in the mood to talk to her. I had some serious pep-taking to do.

As I let the hot water run over my body I determined to follow through tonight. Bella was going to have sex with Jacob. It's not like we were together. It's not even like I think of her romantically, but this somehow still felt all wrong. She'd have sex with Jacob and I'd have sex with Sabrina. It would be okay. It was just sex. Sex. Ugh.

I toweled off and pulled on a pair of black boxer briefs. No way was I going commando in rented pants. Gross. I glanced at the clock and saw that I was in danger of running late. _Very classy_. I'm not even picking up my date and I can't be on time. Oh well. The surf was _so_ worth it. I heard the front door open and close and freak out for a brief moment but then hear Jacob's booming laughter as he snuck up on Bella in the kitchen. I managed to pull the tux together and even put some gel in my hair before heading down the stairs. Jacob wolf-whistled and Bella looked up at me with a small smile. She looked like a mom sending her kid off to Kindergarten. That smile was killing me. And then she laughed.

"What did you do to your tie, Seth? Come here you big moron and let me fix it." Okay, maybe I didn't really know how to tie a bow tie, but what eighteen year old does? Bella went to the sink to wash the food she'd been preparing from her hands before touching me.

"Jake! Check the camera and make sure the battery is charged and that the memory card is in it while I take care of Seth's tie, please." I was too tall for Bella to be able to reach my neck comfortably and see what she was doing so she grabbed me and walked me towards the stairs. Bella pointed me at the mirror and stood behind me with her arms around me trying to undo whatever mess it was that I'd made of the tie. I watched in the mirror as she shook her head but then managed to work the tiny bit of fabric into the right shape.

"Jake!" Bella yelled. "Grab the corsage from the fridge, hon! She'll be here any minute and the tie's still crooked." In fact, Sabrina was already here. I'd heard the tires of her van as the pulled and the slight crunch her heels were making on the gravel driveway. Bella was still trying to make the tie straight when the doorbell rang. "Jake!" Bella called out.

"I know, I know" Jake teased in a falsely exasperated voice. "Get the door, please. Why don't I just go on the date for him, too?" He laughed as he walked toward the door. I glanced easily through the open living room toward the door- toward my doom and then back at the mirror where I met Bella's eye for a long look. She finally broke her gaze and gave me a smile that was nervous and somehow sad and then went back to smoothing the wrinkles out of the tie as best she could. Somehow in that one look we'd missed the sound of the door opening, though I knew it had because of the breeze that had blown in. _Bad perfume, ugh._ We'd probably missed it because of the lack of sound that followed. There was no talking. No voices at all. I turned my head from the mirror toward the door and saw Jake standing there with the door wide open and his eyes wider still, not saying a damn word, just looking…. At Sabrina.

"Come on Jake, invite the poor girl in, won't you?" Bella called without looking up. She smiled, happy with herself for salvaging the bowtie without having to get out the iron. "Jake?" she asked, finally looking up and toward the open door. We had both moved from the stairs and Bella took a few steps toward the door, toward Jake before she called his name again. "Jake?"

This time his mind seemed to register her voice and he turned his head slightly from Sabrina and toward Bella. His expression was impossible to render- confusion, joy, pain, wonder- it was all of those things until his eyes met Bella's. "Jake?" She repeated, her voice growing shaky. Jake winced and looked from one girl to the other. Sabrina stood in the doorway in all her native glory: ebony hair, big dark eyes and russet-skin, with a great body and a crimson dress cut almost to her belly button to show it off. Her eyes never left Jacob. I stood there and watched. I literally watched as Bella connected the dots and the answer seeped into her conscious mind. I watched as her brain registered that Jacob, her boyfriend, best friend, the person she counted on most in life, imprinted on a complete stranger. I saw her face crumple as she looked up at him and absolutely knew it to be true. Bella gasped. Once. Twice- as if trying to catch her breath, arms wrapping around herself impossibly tight, holding herself together, she sucked in a deep breath and turned toward me. "Seth?" she looked at me with wide and watery eyes. "It hurts." The words were so weak they barely escaped her lips, but I heard them. Then I caught her as she fainted.


	15. Chapter 15

_Previously: Bella gasped. Once. Twice- as if trying to catch her breath, arms wrapping around herself impossibly tight, holding herself together, she sucked in a deep breath and turned toward me. "Seth?" she looked at me with wide and watery eyes. "It hurts." The words were so weak they barely escaped her lips, but I heard them. Then I caught her as she fainted._

Ch 15: Seth

To say that I positively wanted to beat Jacob's face in at this point would be a tremendous understatement, and I wasn't even pissed about the imprinting. It's not like he could help it and I really understood that. I was pissed that he had promised Bella that he would never leave her. He made a promise he knew he couldn't keep and the only person who would suffer for it was Bella. And yeah, somewhere in there I realized that maybe if I had opened my own mouth to tell someone that Bella was my imprint that maybe she would have never decided to date Jacob and gotten her heart broken again. And maybe if Bella ever found out she'd be so pissed off that she'd see this all as my fault, but for now I was going to do my best to protect her, keep her safe.

I looked down at Bella's perfectly still form in my arms and noted that Jacob had yet to stop staring at Sabrina, or shut the door. I had to get Bella out of here before she woke up, but was short on places to go. Jacob's was obviously out. Sam and Emily would welcome her, but I also knew that Bella wouldn't feel very comfortable dealing with her emotions in a house full who knows how many members of the pack. Suddenly I got an idea.

As I carried Bella's limp body up the ladder of the tree house I wondered vaguely if this was a good idea, but then again no one would think to look here and we had nowhere else to go. After all, this was the same tree-house Bella had dragged me to so many years ago at my dad's funeral. I sunk down to the plank floor and rested Bella's head in my lap. I couldn't resist running my hands through her long dark waves, pulling them away from her now-peaceful face. I stared out the window wondering how long Bella would be out. The thought of what I'd be facing when she did open her eyes had me a little scared. Before those thoughts had time to solidify in my head I looked down toward Bella and found her brown eyes staring right into mine. For the second time in my life I felt the world around me shift.

It was strange because I'd already experienced the phenomena of imprinting on Bella, the absolute concern and devotion that went along with it. What changed was the nature of the imprint. Before now the relationship had been strictly platonic, friendly to the point of _almost_ being like a real step-brother. I say almost because in all reality I was always still a little attracted to Bella. I just knew that it would never happen so I didn't pay it much attention. Now everything felt different. Now as I looked down into Bella's chocolate colored eyes I saw a woman –_my woman _the wolf inside me cried. I saw her beauty and frailty and imperfections and best traits and wanted all of it because it was essentially Bella. I wanted to wake up with her and make love and go surfing and eat brunch and have children running barefoot in our yard. I shook myself out of my reverie. I had been staring for an impossibly long time and had no good excuse. Then again, Bella hadn't broken eye contact either. I wonder whether she'd felt any type of change at all. For imprintees it isn't the same. They feel a draw, a connection, but don't really have an understanding as to why.

Bella took a deep breath as if to steady herself even though she was lying down. "You gonna be okay, Bella?" I asked, stroking her cheek. Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded mutely.

"It really happened, didn't it? Jacob imprinted on her?" her voice was so small and shaky.

"I'm so sorry, hon. I wish there was something I could do." I felt helpless. I was helpless. My imprint was suffering from a broken heart via imprinting. Now was not the time to add more wolf drama into her life.

"You are doing something, Seth. You brought me here so I could have space. You took me away from that…. scene. You stayed with me. You are helping. I feel better just that you're here." She breathed.

My wolf rejoiced at that. My presence was soothing her. I was helping her. "I'll do whatever you need, Bella. I'm here for you. Don't forget that." Yeah, I sounded like a pansy, but if the pack had a soft spot for anyone it was Bella so I wasn't too worried about getting ribbed about that. What I was starting to worry about was being able to continue keeping my imprint a secret. The new shift in the relationship dynamic would make it much harder to keep my thoughts away from Bella. Phasing should be avoided for a while until I could get a plan sorted out.

Night was starting to fall outside the tree-house and as tempted as I was, I couldn't spend the whole night up here with Bella, but I also didn't want to drag her back to her house just in case. Jake had seemed pretty out of it and I wondered lightly if he'd gotten around to shutting the front door yet or maybe introducing himself to my prom date. Let him have fun explaining why I bailed on her. He deserved at least that much. "Bella, honey? I'm gonna go make sure the house is empty and then come back and get you real quick, okay?" She shuddered briefly. I guess it was the thought of going back home and seeing Jake and his imprint again. What else would it be? She nodded.

I was down the ladder and through the woods in seconds. In less than a minute I had reached the stepping stone pathway that led to the house's back door. Then I heard it. And I began shaking violently, heat pouring from the center of my body. How tactless! How fucking rude could you be? I've been consoling a barely conscious Bella in a tree house in the woods after Jake broke her heart and Jake is in our house watching porn so loud I can hear it from the sidewalk? I cannot fucking believe him! Knowing Jake could physically thrash me in a fight didn't stop me from taking the steps two at a time in order to confront him. I'd had enough and I'd reached my breaking point.

I flew through the door with murder on my mind… well maybe not murder but I was definitely hoping to land at least one damaging punch, and was met with a scene that made my lunch want to come up. Sabrina, my prom date, was arranging her red dress in an obvious way while Jake was searching around frantically for some shorts to put on. The TV was not on. It was the real deal I had overheard. Cheesy porn vocals and all- I was in shock.

I exhaled a noisy breath and Jake's head shot up like a rocket meeting my gaze. "They're behind the couch," I said flatly, pointing at his ripped up old cutoffs. Jake didn't even have the grace to look embarrassed, he just pulled on the shorts and leaned over to tell Sabrina if she waited outside he'd be there in a second. Good. I needed to talk to him alone. He approached me at his full height, trying to use some sort of Alpha/psychological bullshit on me.

"Now listen, Seth. I know you're probably upset with me right now, but you know that as wolves we cannot control who we imprint on. I never even wanted to imprint, but now that I have it's fantastic! I understand how disappointed you must be about your prom and all that, but we're talking about me finding my soul mate, here. That's more important than hoping to get lucky after some little high school dance, don't ya think?" Jake's face was all "older brother" looking as if he were trying to explain the difficulties of life to a three-year-old. I couldn't stand that patronizing shit.

"The prom? You think I'm pissed off about the fucking prom? I never wanted to go to the damn prom in the first place! I'm pissed because while I've been nursing Bella, your _girlfriend_, your _best_ friend back to consciousness you've been here fucking a girl you met less than an hour ago on our couch! What the hell do you think would have happened if Bella came back with me, huh? You think she wanted to hear you two sounding all cheesy porn from the fucking backyard while she's barely breathing?" I had so much to say. So many words just bubbling from my chest toward my mouth, but I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood and just shook my head, praying I had enough control to contain the wolf inside. When I felt myself calm somewhat I met Jacob's eyes. "You take that girl and get her away from here. This is our house. Bella and I both live here and we want you gone." I hadn't really cleared that with Bella, but I figured he wouldn't know that. "I'm gonna go get Bella now because she's alone and completely destroyed and waiting for me, but you need to be outta here by the time I get back with her. Understand?" Jacob didn't like me standing up to him. I could tell that even though the alpha inside him bristled against my willfulness he knew I was right. I turned my back on Jacob and headed toward the back door but stopped with my handle on the door knob.

"And Jake…" I trailed off. "There's a can of Lysol under the kitchen sink. Spray of the fucking couch cushions before you leave the house, asshole." With that, I slammed the door shut and headed back to my Bella.


	16. Chapter 16

"And Jake…" I trailed off. "There's a can of Lysol under the kitchen sink. Spray of the fucking couch cushions before you leave the house, asshole." With that, I slammed the door shut and headed back to my Bella.

Seth Ch 16

I wish I could say that once Jake left, I went and grabbed Bella from the treehouse, made her a cup of hot chocolate, kissed her forehead, and tucked her into her bed for the night. I wish I could say that I got up the courage to come clean about the imprint and that Bella was so happy she forgot all about Jake and my ill-fated prom plans. I wish I could say just about anything happened other than what really did, but this is Bella we're talking about, and her luck is total shit. Not that mine is much better. What really happened is that before I managed to make it back out the door the phone rang, and because said luck is shitty, I answered.

"Oh, thank God it's you, Seth. Do you know where Bella is? I've been trying to get her on her cell for the past two hours." It was Charlie and he sounded panicked. It's not good when the chief of police panics. It's also not good when he doesn't pick up on the fact that I'm home when by all accounts I should be at the prom.

"Bella's phone battery died. It's recharging in her room," I lied. "Charlie. Is everything okay?" I redirected.

"Seth. Can you find Bella? I've been calling everywhere. She's not at Jake's and she's not home. There's been an emergency." Charlie answered.

"Yeah, Charlie. I can go get her in a few minutes. What's going on?"

"It's her mom, Seth. Bella's mom was in an accident. Renee was trying some kind of parachuting, parasailing, I don't know- something crazy. Her husband Phil called me a few hours ago and I've been trying to reach Bella all this time. Seth. They don't know if Renee is going to make it. I need to talk to Bella right away, son."

My heart sank, because only Bella would have to deal with this much bad shit in one day. I didn't want to have to see Bella's face when she got hit with this piece of news, but there was no way she could deal with this on her own.

"Seth. Seth. You still there?" Charlie asked.

I swallowed hard. "Still here, Charlie. I'll go get Bella and have her call you right back on your cell. It should only be about five minutes. Do you want me to tell her anything or should I just have her call?" I was being a total wimp at this point praying that Charlie would take the tough job of telling Bella but I also knew that as soon as I told her to call Charlie she'd be in a panic and there was half a chance I'd end up telling her anyway. Luckily Charlie supported my cowardice.

"No, son. Just tell her I need her to call and I'll break it to her." There ya go. That's good cop training kicking in right there.

"Right. Well, we'll call you back in five." I hung up and took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be good. First Jacob's imprint and then Bella's mom might be dying. My job was now to keep Bella from totally losing it.

I went to the treehouse and brought Bella through the dimming forest. When we got into the house I pulled her by one hand and put the phone in her other hand. She looked down at it blankly as she sunk down into the couch. "You need to call your dad, Bella." I told her softly.

"I just can't right now, Seth. I just…." She trailed off. She couldn't what? Pretend that everything was okay?

"Bella. It's really important" _or I'd never ask you to do this right now _I wanted to add. Suddenly Bella's nearly dead face looked mildly alarmed and she began dialing. I took her hand again once the phone was ringing and I don't think she even noticed. I kept holding her hand while her dad delivered the news, while she asked the most basic of questions; how had it happened, when did the accident happen, and what should Bella do now. When she hung up the phone a few minutes later, Bella's face was still as beautifully tragic as ever, but her eyes were a million years old and dead flat. It had been too much to process in one day. It was too much for me to process and I was on the outside. Bella sat, staring, looking at nothing. Her hand absently flexed and relaxed in mine as the tension in her body sought some type of release. Finally I broke the silence.

"What will you do, Bella?" I asked in the most unobtrusive voice I could manage.

"I have to go. I've got to get to Florida as soon as possible. I need to get to Renee right now so I can…" she trailed off. I understood that. At this point Bella didn't really know if she'd be going there to help out while her mom was in the hospital or whether she was going to Florida to say goodbye. Things were still touch and go. "I need to get online and buy a plane ticket and I need to pack." Bella said, moving to get up from the couch. One thing was for sure and that was I did not want to see Bella leave for Florida. She'd been through too much shit and a long plane ride combined with even longer layovers in anonymously crowded airports. That kind of time gives a person too much opportunity to think and worry and make some really bad decisions. There was no way I was letting Bella get on a plane by herself to go possibly say final goodbyes with her mother. I let Bella head to her room and begin the packing process and began to reach for the phone but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

It was Sam with Emily in tow. That was a shocker. Usually when Sam wanted something he howled and the rest of the pack came running. Sometimes he called. But he hadn't been to my house since… since Leah and I first phased probably. My surprise must have shown on my face. "Mind if we come in, Seth?" Sam actually seemed to be asking. I glanced toward the staircase and back as Sam and Emily, trying to think of the best thing to say given the situation. Clearly "Go away, this is not a good time" was not an option. I opened the door silently and walked to sit on the couch. They followed me and sat down, like I figured they would. I stared at Sam for a moment before looking away. It's hard for a wolf to stare down the Alpha, even in human form. I waited for him to talk. I might not win any staring contests, but I wasn't here to make anything easy for him.

"Charlie called our house, Seth." Was what Sam finally opened with. That's not what I had expected.

"Okay?" I hoped Sam would elaborate. I really didn't see where he was going with this.

"About five minutes after Jacob left." Sam added, giving me an exasperated look.

I nodded. What can you say about such a fucked up situation.

"We figured Bella will be heading to see her mom in Florida. She's too much of a mother hen not to go."

"Yeah. She's packing her stuff right now," I told him.

"We want you to go too, Seth. Charlie wasn't crazy about her going alone and he doesn't even know about what happened earlier with Jacob. Bella can get into enough trouble even with all of us around looking after her. She needs someone with her, and I think you're the best person for the job. You're practically family, after all," Sam said.

I worked hard not to wince at that. I was really not thinking about Bella as family right now, but if that idea got me out of La Push for a while and allowed me to be close to Bella when she needed me, I wasn't about to set the record straight. Not to mention that leaving with Bella A.S.A.P. meant I could probably avoid phasing in front of the pack for a while and help me keep a lid on the imprint until Bella and I could both deal with it. Like maybe on a day when she wasn't dumped and finding out her mom was probably dying. Yeah, that might be good.

Sam looked at me for another minute. "I can make this an order if I have to, Seth. I thought Bella was your friend. I didn't think you'd have a problem going." His voice was steely and made me want to stare at the floor.

"No! No! I just was thinking about how to tell Bella that I'm going. You know how she gets all independent and everything, and then she'll worry about inconveniencing me. I was trying to figure out the best way to bring it up." I was quick to explain myself. How could he think I wouldn't want to help Bella?

"Emily and I will tell her. You go pack your bags. We'll be leaving for the airport in less than 30 minutes. Emily and I are driving you. Charlie already booked you guys a flight. Please tell Bella we'd like to talk to her for a minute."

"Wow. Nothing like knowing you never had a choice." I couldn't help saying it as I headed upstairs to pack my things for the trip.

I knocked lightly on Bella's open door and told her that Sam and Emily were downstairs waiting to talk to her. She looked up with a slightly manic expression. "Now? They want to talk to me now? I really don't have the energy to deal with pack/werewolf bullshit right now, Seth." I agreed with her.

"It's not, sweetie. It's not about that. Just go talk for a minute. I promise it won't take long, okay?" Bella turned her big brown eyes on me, full of too many things to name. Most of all, I saw one big question mark there. "Just go."

With a big sigh, she dropped the shirt she'd been holding into her open suit case and headed for the stairs. I headed to my own room to pack, leaving the door open so I could listen to the conversation, which would probably be crystal clear from here. Hey, sometimes the werewolf thing came in handy.

Surprisingly, it was Emily's voice I heard from downstairs. "Hey, Bella. Charlie called us," Emily began. "Right after Jacob had stopped by." She added softly. Bella didn't respond. What could she really say anyway? Then she surprised me.

"What do you want?" she asked in a voice that was steadier than I had expected.

"Nothing, Bella." Emily's tone showed that she was caught a little off-guard, too. "We just came by to check on you. To make sure you were okay."

Bella laughed humorlessly. "Okay? I wouldn't say that I'm okay. But I also can't say you all didn't warn me. So what can I really complain about? I wasn't Jake's imprint. I knew that going into it. There was always the chance that he'd meet the one he was really supposed to be with, and I got burned. Maybe Leah and I can start some kind of support group." For Bella, it was really bitter sounding.

Emily soldiered on. "Mostly, we were worried about the situation with your mom. We didn't want you going on your own after all that happened today."

"Who is going to come with me, Emily? _You?_ The wolves are all tied to their imprints and the Rez and the pack, and the imprints are tied to their wolves. I don't know how long I'll need to be gone, but I think dragging a homesick werewolf to my mom's hospital bed would not be that productive." I noticed that Bella said hospital bed- not death bed, so she was holding out hope for her mom's recovery. That was a good sign. "Besides, I don't really get why it's your job to find me a chaperone."

"Because we want to make sure you actually come home, Bella." I was surprised that Sam finally spoke up, and more surprised at his response. After today we don't want you to get to Jacksonville and decide that La Push doesn't have anything worth coming back to." My heart stopped for a minute. I hadn't even thought of Bella not deciding to come back. I just assumed that she'd settle things with her mom and come back to open her bakery and resume her old life. I hadn't thought about how little of that life was really left for her. Bella's choked voice interrupted my inner panic.

"Where else would I go? This is my home."

"We know, Bella. We know. And Jake or no Jake, you are part of our pack. Don't ever think otherwise, okay?" Sam's response to Bella shocked the hell out of me. But I guess it made sense. She really had gotten to know each of us personally, and with the bakery, would be putting most of the pack to work. Although she was really different from Emily, she had the same effect on us. Bella was like the glue that held us together. If Emily was like the pack's mother, Bella was the pack's heart.

Bella exhaled noisily. "Okay, okay. Like I can say no to you people. Please just don't tell me you're sending Embry and Paul with me, 'cause I don't think the women of Jacksonville can handle that dynamic duo." I was so relieved to hear Bella joking that I nearly missed how easily she'd given in to her chaperone.

"Actually, you lucked out this time. We're sending Seth," Sam answered.

"But he's got school!" Bella protested.

"Bella, it's fine. It's taken care of. There's like a week left, and the brainiac has tested out of all his exams, so just go finish up your packing because we're leaving for the airport in 15 minutes."

And just like that, Sam solved all my immediate problems. Bastard.


	17. Chapter 17

On the plane with Bella it was easy to pretend we were going on vacation. People buzzed around us with an air of excitement. There was the promise of sunshine and something different. I hadn't had anything other than La Push for so long that it was hard to imagine any place else. When I saw Bella sitting next to me so small and silent with a face full of worry, the real reason for our trip came back to me with piercing clarity. I wanted to reach over and hold Bella's hand so badly, but was afraid she wouldn't want me to. The urge became nearly overwhelming and I gave in after about 40 minutes of internal debate. When my hand encircled Bella's, she gave an audible sigh and I gave a mental one to express my relief. Maybe she needed the contact as much as I did. It was easy to forget that I was instinctually wired to give Bella what she needed and fall into being a self-doubting adolescent boy. It was getting late and had been a long day, so it didn't take long before Bella and I both succumbed to sleep.

Landing in Jacksonville was a flurry of activity. It was morning and we'd been flying most of the night before. We were rumpled, tired, in a strange place, and unfortunately on our own as far as transportation went. I wanted to get a rental car, but Bella reasoned that her mom's car would be up for grabs if we could just get to her place, so we hailed a cab and headed toward the address Bella had written on a 3 by 5 card folded in her pocket. Bella's mom's place was nice. It was a little bungalow with bright colored green paint, white shutters, and a bunch of plants growing outside that were unlike anything I'd come across in Washington. Bella lifted a purple clay flower pot from its spot in the front porch and retrieved a key. "She had always hidden a key under the purple pot no matter which house we were living in. I don't know why, but I guess its good some things don't change or we'd be stuck on the porch." Bella's tired smile made my heart warm up a bit. It had been a while since she'd had anything other than a blank stare or worry lines etched on her forehead. It reminded me of how beautiful she was when she was happy.

We ditched our stuff in the house, found some car keys, and called Bella's stepdad for directions to the hospital. Once we got there I was probably more uncomfortable than I had ever been in my life. First off, hospitals freak me out. They smell weird, and because vampires worked at the one nearest where I grew up I'd been taught to avoid them like the plague. Secondly, I'd never met Bella's mom or step-dad, and a hospital room over someone's possible death bed doesn't lend itself to the most convenient social conversation….. which was also why I wasn't sure whether or not to correct Phil when he just assumed that I was Jacob. Yeah, I know, all us giant Indian boys look the same, right? Bella was busy grilling nurses and fretting over her mother, and although I'd clearly shaken Phil's hand and said "Seth Clearwater", he went right on calling me Jacob. I guess they'd expect the boyfriend to come along with Bella. I'm sure he would have- if he hadn't just imprinted on the skankiest thing to hit the Rez since… well I guess since Paul. He was such a man-whore. Anyway, about 3 hours and fifteen "Jacob's" into the day and Bella noticed what was up and set Phil straight.

"Jacob? No, Phil. This is Seth. Seth Clearwater. He's my…. He's Sue Clearwater's son. You know, the woman my dad's marrying?"

Phil looked perplexed. "Not Jacob? Why not? Where's Jacob at? I would have expected him to be here for you at a time like this," Phil blubbered.

This was a guy with the gift of being dimwitted enough not to realize what a complete ass he really was. Not that it was probably fair for me to make a snap judgment on the guy considering his current life circumstances, but really… what a douche.

"Jacob met someone, Phil. He wants to be with someone else. We broke up." That was about as succinct and honest as Bella could've put it.

"Oh. Was this a recent thing? I'm sure your mom would've mentioned something like this. She was so sure that you two were the real thing. Especially since Jacob been waiting for you for forever. We wondered whether you'd ever move on after that Edward boy." Phil continued to talk out of his ass.

"Yep. Pretty recent. Like yesterday recent. And obviously I should have just let Jacob_ keep on waiting _since he met someone better and moved right along. Anyway, whether or when Jacob and I stopped being perfect together does not change the fact that this is Seth, not Jacob. And I've told you guys about Seth on the phone like 100 times. You know about him. Remember he's the one who taught me to surf?"

"Oh yeah! Okay. Sorry about that, son. Seems like so much is going on I can't keep my head screwed on." Phil gave a grin that made him look like he was trying to play dumb to get out of detention. It worked for him. It was believable.

What was fairly unbelievable was the situation with Bella's mom. We'd been in her room for an hour or so, left to find the cafeteria and some food, and in the fifteen minutes we were gone the woman opened her eyes. Just like some kind of movie. One minute she might never wake up, time to pull the plug, the next thing you know she's awake and expected to recover. There won't be a full recovery. One of her legs is so broken that Renee will always limp. But to go from dying to limping- hey that's a switch you can't really complain about.

Now that Renee is out of the woods health-wise, the doctors want her to rest up, so they suggest we all head home. Phil refuses and my estimation of him is raised just a bit. Bella and I are exhausted enough from the stress and relief of the past 24-48 hours that going to Renee and Phil's place sounds like a fantastic idea, so that's what we do.

Once inside the place, Bella wanders around like someone who is lost. I see her searching out the familiar, and then I remember she's never actually been to her mother's house. Not this house at least. When Bella had left to move to Forks, she and her mother had been living in Arizona. What Bella was now looking at was all their old stuff in a new setting. Bella even had a room here, but I couldn't tell you if it was a carbon copy of her old room or a mash up of old and new. I could tell you, however, that the room was Bella all over. There were shelves and shelves of books, a big bed with a hodge-podge homemade quilt, a big poster of one of the illustrations from the book "Where the Wild Things Are" was hanging above the bed. A desk with a funky, squishy-looking chair completed the room. In all, it was a room I'd want to disappear in and never leave. Bella threw her bags in the corner, fell backwards onto the bed, and smiled a smile of absolute peace.

I, on the other hand, was relegated to the living room. It's not like Bella kicked me out or anything, it's just that I wasn't sure where else to go in a 2 bedroom where my Bella was crashed out in one bed and the other belonged to her parents. The living room was furnished in leather. Where Bella's room had been unbelievable lived-in and comfortable, the living room furniture squeaked when I moved and the leather stuck to my overheated skin. My feet also hung about a foot and a half past the arm of the couch when I tried to lay down, which I was pretty sure was okay when I realized this was probably my bed for the next few days. Eventually I must have nodded off because in what felt like no time flat, I opened my eyes and saw Bella standing over me with a little crease between her eyes. "This was not the couch I grew up with," she finally offered.

"So what. It's nice," I said lamely. I wasn't trying to make a big deal about it. So what if it was uncomfortable.

"The couch I grew up with was corduroy. It was a terrible pumpkin orange and pulled out into a lumpy queen sized sleeper mattress, but I'd figured it would be here when I agreed for you to come. Even if it hadn't pulled out, it was huge and comfortable and was great to sleep on," Bella explained in a low voice. I loved how she sometimes spoke so softly it was like she was talking to herself, but including me somehow. It was intimate and quirky and totally Bella. "All this furniture is total shit. I bet that's not even real leather. My mother the vegan would never allow leather. It screams of Phil. In fact, most of the stuff in this house is stuff I've never seen before in my life." Bella sounded upset by that fact, and I couldn't blame her. A few years gone and the things her childhood memories were made from were gone forever.

"People merge when they get married. Compromise and all that jazz." I smiled up at Bella hopefully. "Charlie and my mom have done some of that, too," I added.

"Yeah, Seth, but Charlie brought some of his furniture into the house. I see nothing of my mom in this house. It's sad. She does this, you know. She changes to make a man happy. Then she realizes that she can't be this vanilla person forever and she ends up leaving." Bella was sad, exasperated. It was the look of a parent who has seen their child make the same mistakes over and over again and can't bear it.

"She's a grown woman, Bella. She's got to live her life and learn from her own mistakes. It's not your responsibility to take care of her anymore. Really, it was never your job at all." I hoped internally that I hadn't said too much and overstepped my boundaries, but Bella just blew out a big gush of air.

"I know. I KNOW! She is the adult here. She's the parent and yet I still feel responsible for keeping her from making these kinds of mistakes. It's so much easier to be in La Push where I don't see what Renee is doing day-to-day. When I'm here it's just so obvious that she needs constant supervision. I mean, seriously, a frickin' parasailing accident! Who the hell does that? And of course she has no insurance. And of course she and Phil will have no plan for how to financially cover things until Renee is working again. All of these practical things that adults know to do are the same things I would get stuck having to do. And you know what? I don't want to have to do it anymore! I know that probably makes me a bad person. I know I should want to be there for my mom who is having a bad time and is recovering from a near-fatal accident, but you know what? Now that I know she's okay I feel really pissed off. I came all the way down here and now what? Now she's going to be fine (which I'm really thankful for, don't get me wrong), but I'm going to be stuck with all the red tape, hospital bills, disability insurance… I don't even know all the stuff, and I hate it. I want to be in La Push figuring out what to do about my bakery, figuring out what to do now that it's over with Jacob, figuring out how to make a future for myself now that I'm obviously not going to be spending it with him. I don't want to have to do clean up for a married couple who are almost in their 50's. I'm sorry, but I'm sick of it and I don't want the job anymore!"

It was the most Bella had said about her mom at one time. I'd cobbled together a mental impression of Bella and Renee's relationship and sorta gotten the idea that Bella was not thrilled with the reversed mother-daughter relationship. Now I could see that Bella was downright angry, and with good reason, too.

"You're not a bad person, Bella. You just want to be your own person. I don't think it's wrong for you to leave Renee to her own life and her own mistakes. You came down here when you thought your mom might not make it. Now that you know she'll be okay, I don't think you're obligated to take care of any of her mess. If you want to leave tomorrow I'll call and book the flight, but don't feel guilty about it. You have done enough for her over the years, and honestly, no one can say differently." I was truthful and that was the best I could come up with.

"I can't leave tomorrow, Seth, but I won't be the one who deals with all the paperwork this time, either. I'll stay through the week, but that's it. Monday morning we are out of here. We'll see to it that Renee gets discharged from the hospital, makes it into her own bed, and then we're heading back home."

"I'm here to help you, Bella. If that's what you want, that's what we'll do," I said resolutely.

"You are helping, Seth, more than you know. Thanks for letting me vent to you, even if you probably think I'm a crazy woman now. I do feel better." Bella smiled sheepishly at me and I swear I felt like goo when she did it.

"Now what I meant to tell you when you first woke up- you can't sleep here," Bella said.

Well that sucks big balls because I have no money for a hotel and I'm not asking Bella to pay. I guess I could just go wolf and sleep in the woods or something, but I'm not totally comfortable doing that in an area I'm not familiar with. Bella's voice interrupts my internal monolog.

"The whole house is hardwood floors, this couch obviously doesn't pull out, and it's way too short for your werewolf freakishness; so it looks like you're gonna have to bunk with me." Bella looks at me triumphantly for solving this obvious problem and I'm torn between jumping for joy and crapping my pants. It would indeed be a long week.

-Author's Note-

If you feel like there wasn't much action, you might be right. If you think next chapter will be more exciting... you might be right again. Thanks for reading.


	18. Chapter 18

_Bella looks at me triumphantly for solving this obvious problem and I'm torn between jumping for joy and crapping my pants. It would indeed be a long week. _

CH: 18

Bella's voice cut into my mental reverie. "Seth, are you listening? I said I need to blow off some steam, get rid of this pent up stress energy." Oh man, this conversation was totally getting my wrong head started in the wrong direction. First we're "bunking" now we're blowing off steam. Please ask for a backrub, please ask for an oily ,slippery backrub. Wait! When did I turn into Paul? "Seth, I said I'm going for a swim. I haven't checked out the pool yet, but my mom's been trying to lure me down here for like 3 years in order to see it. You coming?" Bella asked. Bella in a swimsuit…ummm hell yeah. That was something I never passed up.

"Yeah. Sure. I'll be there in a minute," I reply. "Oh wait. Ummm. Maybe not. I guess I wasn't really planning ahead when I was packing. No swimsuit." Suddenly, I was quite sure I would be missing swimsuit Bella and that was oh so sad.

"Oh come on, Seth. It's my mom's private pool and there's a tall fence. Just go in your underwear. No one will know the difference," Bella sensibly answered.

Well, that might be where Bella was wrong, but still I wasn't about to back out. So I mustered my courage and about fifteen minutes later was rewarded by the look on Bella's face when I stepped onto the back patio in my grey Calvin Klein boxer briefs with a towel thrown over my shoulder. Of course, she was looking pretty fabulous herself in a purple bikini that was held together on bottom with knots on the sides of her hips, and ties at the top as well. "What?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," she gulped and immediately looked away.

"Bella." No answer. "Bella, look at me." She did.

"Seriously. Is this bad, like inappropriate? Should I just go change?"I had to ask because she seemed so uncomfortable and of course the damn imprint wouldn't allow me to not address her.

"No!" she squeaked, then coughed. "No" she answered in a lower, more normal voice. "You're fine, I mean it's fine. I guess I just figured… I mean, I guess I thought you'd be wearing regular old boxers is all. Not that there's anything wrong with what you're wearing, it's just…. Not what I'd imagined you'd wear." She rambled and finished lamely, muttering to herself like a crazy person.

I wanted to laugh at her, but at the same time I felt self-conscious. For a moment I was soaring. She _imagined me_ in… something? As in- Bella thought about me in my underwear, that was news. Or was she just using a figure of speech. Crap. I don't know. Why was she so miserable looking about it all? Did she feel like she was seeing her brother in his tighty-whitey's or was she uncomfortable for another reason. I figured I'd put us both out of our growing misery and dropped my towel and jumped in the pool. Bella took a noticeable breath and followed suit and after that all awkwardness was forgotten and we were just Seth and Bella, swimming and splashing like we always did.

The rest of the evening was spent with Bella and I ordering Chinese takeout for dinner and watching a movie on the sticky leather (or leather-like) couch. That shit felt synthetic to me. It chafed. Anyway, Bella said she was too wiped out to cook, that we'd hit the grocery store the next day to get enough food to make casseroles to freeze for when her mom got out of the hospital. Stupid freaking imprint had me excited about going to the grocery store, dammit. I got all excited about being with Bella all domestic and shit. I had just started thinking about what a long day it had been and how tired Bella must feel when I heard her give a big yawn. _That's my girl._ "Hey, girlie, why don't you go to bed. We'll probably have another big day tomorrow with all the shopping and cooking and another trip out to the hospital to visit Renee." Bella yawned again and stretched as she stood up.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna go brush my teeth and put on my PJ's and be there in just a minute," Bella answered.

"Bella, I can just crash out here. No biggie." Come on. I don't know if I can handle being in bed with you. In a house alone. In a bed. Yeah, I already thought that.

"Seth," Bella deadpanned, giving me the serious face. "You are not sleeping in Renee and Phil's room. This pleather couch is giving us both a heatrash. We are both adults. I think we can share my queen sized bed without too much of a problem."

Well fuck me. That pretty much settles that. "Sure. I'll be in after I brush my teeth."

I pep talked myself through brushing my teeth and washing my face, and then washing my face again. By the time I got to Bella's room my face and teeth were cleaner than they'd ever been in my life and she was trying to decide which pillow she'd rather use. "Do you prefer foam or feather, Seth?" Bella asked, turning to face me with the two options in her hands. I was momentarily distracted by her tiny white tank top and matching short shorts. I had to shake my head to get my brain working properly again. "Seth. It's not that tough a question. Which pillows do you like," Bella asked, holding up the pillows. I am ashamed to admit it, but at that moment all I was thinking was "tits tits tits" and all coherent speech was beyond me. I did manage a shrug, though and Bella said she'd go with the feather so I guess I was spared from making a decision. Or talking and embarrassing myself.

Why the hell was this so difficult all of a sudden? I'd imprinted on Bella a long time ago and we'd been friends for years and now I was making an ass of myself. That queen sized bed was looking smaller and smaller as I took a deep breath and climbed in. Bella got in on the other side and clicked off the bedside light. It was the loudest click I'd ever heard in my life. Of course I could still see everything perfectly in the dark, but Bella usually forgot my enhanced abilities and predictably felt hidden and safer in the darkness. I remained still as my sensitive ears detected the soft flick of Bella's bra hook and whisper of fabric as she deftly removed it and dropped it on the floor. White tank top-no bra. That mental image was a reallllly nice one. "Seth", Bella breathed.

"Yeah, Bella", I answered.

"Thanks for staying with me," she murmured sleepily.

"Of course, Hon. Of course," I answered immediately, dismissing her constant good manners as habit.

"No. I mean thanks for staying in here with me. I could tell you didn't really want to, but I'm thankful you did anyway," Bella said softly, barely audibly.

I didn't know how to respond to that. Of course I wanted to stay with her, but I couldn't say that. "Why did you want me to stay with you, sweetheart?" I really did want to know. And also I didn't want to respond to her earlier observation.

"It's stupid."

"Bella. You're like…. My best friend. Dish." Yes. I was talking like a girl. I have an older sister. Sue me.

"Well,"she stammered, hesitating.

"Bella," I said in a warning tone.

" Sometimes I have nightmares," she admitted, embarrassed.

"Still?" I asked in a soft tone. I was surprised. It had been a long time since Edward had left Bella and I knew from Charlie and Billy talking and from Jake's memory that Bella had experienced terrible night terrors after that leech had abandoned her, but then again Bella's bedroom had been down the hall from me since Charlie and her moved in and I'd never heard anything from her room. I'm her imprint. The thought of not noticing something like that really bothered me. "You still have those nightmares? Like when he first left?" It hurt me to think about how badly she had suffered.

"No. They're not the same at all. And I don't have them very often." Bella paused, twisting the top sheet in her fingers. "Just when I'm somewhere new, or different, or I don't know… just not in my own bed. I guess my subconscious knows that I'm somewhere else and my dreams get weird because of it. And anyway, it's not the same dream at all. In fact, it's not really scary as much as it is just …. Disconcerting. Weird."

"How is it different?" I asked. I suddenly _needed_ to know this stuff.

"Well before, it was always me running through the woods after him, you know? After Ed… Edward. And the woods were scary and I was lost and I felt like someone or something was chasing me."

"But not these dreams?"

"No. The weird thing about these dreams is that they seem so real. It's just me and Edward and he's sitting there with me, watching me or talking quietly to me like he used to. But we're not in my room in Forks, or on the Rez. We're wherever I really am. And he's talking to me and telling me how he wishes he never left me and how much he loves me and wants me back. It's all so dull and boring and mundane, but so completely real feeling, but I can't wake myself up, so that makes it all seem so terrifying, too. Do you know what I mean?' Bella asked.

Yes. Yes I think I might know what she meant. I was trying really hard not to jump to conclusions or to start shaking or …. Oh I don't know… turn into a giant sandy wolf or something unreasonable like that.

"Well. That was why I wanted you to sleep in here with me," Bella said. "I think my subconscious knows that I'm safe at La Push, so I don't have any bad dreams when I'm there, and since you're like…. My own little piece of home, maybe you can keep the bad dreams away, too." Bella sounded so utterly embarrassed and self conscious at that moment that I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her.

"Of course honey. I'll keep those nightmares… and anything else far away from you." I breathed in her ear, holding tight to my Bella until she gave a soft snore that signaled her sleep.

_Fucking leeches._


	19. Chapter 19

I'd love to say that having your imprint in bed with me gave me the best night's sleep of my life. I'd love to say that I felt peaceful and complete, but truthfully, Bella is quite a snuggler and I ended up with a bad case of blue balls. I'm not saying it wasn't a great night- because it totally was, but I am saying there is a lot of room for improvement. Not to mention that right before going to sleep Bella threw a whammy of a curveball at me. These "dreams" she has of Edward? When she's not at home? As in… not on the Reservation where all Cullens are prohibited from being due to a treaty older than my dad? Let's just say I have some ideas about why these dreams feel so real and are so hard for Bella to wake up from. As in- I'm not so sure they're dreams at all. I mean, come on! Could he really be doing this to Bella? Haunting her like some fucking ghost? Making her think she's dreaming or crazy? When that asshole left, he told Bella he didn't love her, but in these "dreams" he wants her back? What the hell is that all about? It's not like I could prove that he was really coming to stalk Bella in her sleep, and even if I could prove it, would I want to? What if I told Bella my suspicions and she decided she wanted to figure out a way to get him back? What if he wants Bella back? This shit was enough to make my head spin. As it was I was a bit shaky from not phasing for over 24 hours and I was beginning to feel like I was jumping out of my skin. Clearly I am overreacting. Jet lag and not phasing and traumatic events are impacting me to make me paranoid and…. That's it exactly. I have no way to prove Edward is still following Bella around…. But that isn't going to stop me from keeping one eye open and my nose to the ground to protect my imprint.

Once Bella and I got up and showered and dressed, we headed to the grocery store for the items on Bella's list so she could make some casseroles to stock her mom's freezer. The complete regularity of the chore in the totally new venue, with its warmth and sun made me feel like I was living someone else's life; a life where I didn't explode into a sandy wolf if I got pissed off and the girl I loved knew that I loved her and wasn't set to become my stepsister in 3 and a half weeks. Continuing the theme of Uneventful Ordinary, when we got back to the house I helped Bella cut veggies and simmer and stir. We cling wrapped and foiled and wrote reheating instructions on colorful 3x5 cards and taped them to the tops of containers that we stacked neatly in the amazingly empty freezer. Then we got cleaned up again and headed to the hospital to visit Bella's mom and bring Phil some clean clothes.

We arrived to find Renee doing amazingly better than the day before. She was breathing and talking and wanting to try and walk. Granted, she had a shattered leg and wouldn't really be walking properly for months, but the desire was there and the docs all said that was a good thing. Mental drive is a key to successful physical therapy and Bella's mom was in for a whole lot of it, so her prognosis went from dismal to hopeful. Life's funny like that, though.

Just as we began discussion of how well Renee was doing and when she might reasonably get out of the hospital, Bella happened to mention that we'd spent the afternoon stocking the freezer with easy dinners for Renee and Phil.

"But whatever for, baby?" Renee asked confusedly.

"For you to heat in the oven and eat and not die an early death from takeout induced heart trauma," Bella answered slyly.

"No, Bella. I mean why would we need dinners in the freezer? You're not going back to Forks, are you?" Renee asked incredulously.

Bella blinked. Twice. Disbelief shone on her beautiful face. "Well… um… yeah."

"But Sweetie, did you think how I'll get around? I can't drive with my leg all pinned and casted. And of course any kind of cleaning is out of the question. Well let's just say it's a good thing I don't cook anyway because at least that's one thing I don't have to worry about that won't get done, right?" Renee asked with a daft smile.

Bella was still staring. "You thought I was staying? Here?," she choked out.

"Of course, Silly. How else would Phil and I manage? I mean, why else would you have come down here if you were just going to rush right back?" The sweetness was cloying. I knew Bella was nothing if not a caretaker and for a moment I was terrified that I would be heading back to La Push alone. There was only so much time I could be away from the pack and my duties there, yet my girl was always surprising me.

"How long did you think I would be here, mom?" Bella asked with a harder edge to her voice.

"Well I expected you'd at least stay until the cast came off. That way Phil could still travel for work but I wouldn't be completely stranded out here by myself. "

"But the cast won't be off for another six months. You thought I would be here for six months?" Bella wondered.

"Bella, I don't see what the big deal is? It's just six months!"

"The big deal is that Charlie is getting married in three weeks. I'm set to open my own business in a week after that. I have a _life_ in Washington. I have friends there. Responsibilities. Employees who are expecting to start work and get paychecks. I can't just not go back for six months!" I could hear Bella's incredulity building to anger.

"Of course you'll go back for Charlie's wedding! You couldn't miss that, Bella." Renee was showing how reasonable she was, but it was too late for that.

"Where's the couch, Mom?" _WTF? What was Bella talking about? _Looks of confusion shone on Renee and Phil's faces.

"The couch. The purple corduroy monstrosity that used to be in our living room. The one we could both sleep on comfortably. The one not made of fake leather that makes your ass sweat? Where's the couch?" Bella was mad. And also apparently suffering from ADD.

"It's in storage, Bella. In Phoenix. There were too many things that wouldn't work in our house here. We just didn't have room for it all and I put it in storage. Why do you ask?" Renee's face was a picture of confusion.

"I want it. I _loved_ that couch and I want it. And the painting Grandma did that used to hang over the fireplace. And my old quilt. And the dishes we painted together at the pottery class you made me take. And the photo albums. You know… all the _stuff_ you didn't have room for in your new house with Phil. I want it." Oh shit. I saw this line of discussion blowing up in a bad way.

"Well that's fine, Sweetie, but it's all in a storage unit in Phoenix. We'll have to figure out how to get it to you." Renee's voice was accommodating. "We could have a moving company go pick up all that stuff and have it delivered to your apartment if you want. We should wait, though. You may decide you like Jacksonville better than you thought you would. It took a while, but it's grown on me."

"How is it going to grow on me? I'm leaving by the end of the week." Bella shot back.

"But my recovery! My shopping! My house! How will I take care of all that, Bella?" Renee was practically whining at this point.

Bella took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. Renee gave Phil a smile so brief that I almost missed it, but there it was. She was manipulating Bella. The problem was, she didn't know Bella like I did. That long blink wasn't acquiescence. It was my girl biting back her temper.

"Mom. Phil. " Her words were choppy at this point, but she was trying to be polite, trying to avoid burning bridges. "Seth and I are leaving. I repeat. We are leaving. Thank you for letting us stay in your house and swim in your pool. I'm so glad that you are going to recover, Mom. Really. When I got on that plane I wasn't sure what I'd arrive to. I'm just glad it wasn't funeral arrangements. That said….I'm assuming the key to the storage unit in Phoenix is in the same place you always kept extra keys?" Bella eyed her mother with an upturned brow, her head cocked to the side. The expression was almost wolf-like and I have to say it was turning me on. Renee just nodded once, unsure of where this empowered Bella was coming from. "Good." Bella replied to the nod. "Then this is it. I'm glad I got to see you. Sorry the circumstances weren't better. Happy they weren't worse. I'll b e clearing out that storage unit, and I'll call to check on you when I get back to La Push." I couldn't believe Bella's all business exterior, but was thankful for it. Renee… not so much.

"What has happened to you, Bella? I'm so shocked! So disappointed you won't be here for me! When did you get so … so. so… (_don't say it, Renee. .just don't say it_) selfish? (_yeah. That was the one. ) _Now I was trying to not wince visibly at what was to come.

"_Selfish_? Selfish?" Bella breathed. "You mean like going skydiving or parasailing or whatever the hell it was this time with no thought to your own personal safety or the consequences of your actions if you got hurt? Or expecting your daughter to drop everything and come running to your aide so that your social life and housekeeping doesn't get disrupted? Selfish like that, you mean?" Bella was seething with anger. She was _beautiful_. She was _mine._

Renee saw that her current course was headed for disaster and switched gears. Saccharine sweet, she started again. "You don't mean that, Isabella. You're exhausted from your travel and the stress of the accident. Plus, Phil told me about Jacob. That can't be easy, Sweetheart."

"Phil told you about Jacob? Phil thought Seth _was_ Jacob until after the first five times I said his name. And I don't possibly know what he could have told you since he never even asked me. Not that I blame him, with his wife in intensive care." Bella was pissed, but not heartless or rude. "This has been a difficult couple of days, but that doesn't matter. It's time for us to go." Once Bella made up her mind there was no changing it. Renee clearly didn't get that about her only daughter.

"But baseball season will start in a month. What am I going to do when Phil hits the road?" Renee tried to sound pitiful.

Once again I noticed Bella take a deep breath before talking. She was calming herself down before meeting Renee's and Phil's eyes in turn. "I love you both. I do. Mom. You have to start thinking about the consequences of your actions. I can't stop living my life in order to help you maintain yours. You are going to have to make some sacrifices. I'm not trying to be rude, but Phil is not 22 years old anymore. If he hasn't been picked up by the major leagues by now, it's _not_ gonna happen. He's _36_. Maybe it's time to settle down and get a more stable job." Babe Ruth gave a half-choked sounding snort from the corner where he was trying to fill his cheek with chewing tobacco. I coughed to cover my laugh.

"Isabella Marie Swan! How dare you! How dare you? This is not how I raised you! Baseball is Phil's dream and I would never ask him to give up his dream!" Renee nearly yelled.

"You'd never ask _him_ to give up his dream, but me… that's okay. Got it." Bella was ready to go. The conversation was weighing on her and she was looking tired.

"What dream did I ask you to give up, Bella? You've never had a dream! You're too grounded for that, too much like Charlie to want something beyond your grasp. I've never kept you from anything you wanted," Renee spouted like the idiot she apparently was.

"Mom, I love Charlie. He's a good guy. He may not be the most exciting person, but he's a _good_ person. I may be more like him than you, but thank God it's true or else who would have taken care of me or _you_ when I was growing up? As for my dreams…. Just because I haven't shared them with you doesn't mean I don't have them. For your information, my _dream _is to be my own boss, own my own bakery and live my life at La Push surrounded by my friends and family. I have that. I have what I want, and I'm not going to give it up so Phil can travel around the country not having to worry about his injured wife. You are a married couple. You have got to work it out." Bella took a deep breath. "I love you both. I'm leaving now and I'll call you when I get back to Washington."

As Bella turned to walk out, I knew it was time to me to follow. I knew I'd follow her anywhere. _Like the damn pathetic puppy I am. _


	20. Chapter 20

Seth Ch 20:

In the car on the way from the hospital to Renee and Phil's house, Bella was quiet. I wasn't sure what to say. It's gotta be hard standing up to your mom like that. I tentatively reached my hand out and put on hers while she stared at the blurring suburbia outside the passenger side window. Then her shoulders heaved. "Gaaaa." She yelled, "You must hate me right now! You must think I'm the biggest bitch ever! We came all the way down here and now we've only stayed like a day and a half because I'm too selfish to take care of my invalid mother who just had a near death experience and is still in the hospital! Horrible! I'm a horrible person!"'Clearly Bella was melting down. And worrying about my opinion of her? Weird.

I squeezed her hand. "No you're not. You're a brave person. You're a kind person and it can be so hard to stand up for yourself sometimes and with a parent…. That's even harder." I gulped here not knowing how far to go but finally stammered. "I'm just glad you're coming back home with me."

Bella turned her head toward me and caught my eyes for the briefest moment before sitting herself up straight again. I don't know what she saw when she looked at me, but when I looked into her eyes I saw everything, my whole world.

"So what's the plan, Sweet Pea?"

That one earned me a raised eyebrow. "Back to the house to pack, call the airline to change flight reservations, and then head to Phoenix to get my couch." I noticed the possessive and slightly aggressive tone to Bella's voice here. I wondered not for the first time about the couch being symbolic of something larger. Here Bella paused. "I want at _least_ my couch, actually. Probably everything else memorable from my childhood is jammed into that storage unit as well, so we'll see how that goes. Probably we should rent a truck and a little trailer or whatever to pull behind it to get everything back to Washington. What do you think? You up for a road trip?" Bella smirked at me, eyebrow raised archly. That got me going.

"Hells yeah! This might be the only chance I ever get to see anything other than the Rez. I'm totally in!" Major travel on the road with my girl…. Um, yes! But then I thought of how the devil is in the details and without wanting to spoil the chance for us to spend time together, I knew I couldn't ignore the obvious. "Bella, how can we afford to do all this? Just changing plane tickets alone will cost an extra couple hundred. Not to mention the rental vehicle and food and gas and food and lodging…. And food. We are feeding a werewolf in case you forgot, and food on the road is not cheap."

"Don't worry about it, Seth. I've got it covered." Bella brushed me off.

"We're talking about hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. You're getting ready to open a business. I'm an unemployed mythical being just graduating high school. How do I not worry about this trip costing thousands of dollars neither of us has?" One thing I knew from growing up on the Rez and it 's that money does not come easy.

"I've got it, Seth." Bella replied tersely. "I mean, it's covered. So don't worry about it, okay?" She tried to soften it with a smile, but what she was really doing was begging me to drop it. Not happening. This was my mate. I needed to make sure she was taken care of, not just doing something crazy like spending money set aside for the bakery or being irresponsible to rack up crazy credit card bills.

"No." I replied quietly. Calmly. Keeping the man calm keeps the wolf calm.

"What do you mean, no?" Bella asked, her voice raising slightly.

"I mean no. I mean that it's not okay for me to be an accomplice to you spending money like it's not yours or you have an endless supply when we both have responsibilities after this trip. I can't just jump on board with that." I glanced Bella's way out of the corner of my eye and heard her grind her teeth together. Through her clenched teeth I caught bits and pieces of her mumblings. I sounded something like "abnormally intuitive wolf boy", but I wasn't a hundred percent sure. "What was that, Bella?" I asked, goading her.

"Pull over the car," she spat at me. Oh shit. I pissed her off and now she was going to leave me. So I stalled.

"Here? There's barely a shoulder and trees all around. Why would you want me to pull over here?" I hoped my voice didn't betray my growing panic.

"So you don't phase in the car and kill me," Bella answered as if it were obvious.

"Why would I phase now? I'm not shaking a bit. Besides, I'd never hurt you, Bella." _I'd never hurt you?_ _Ugh! Imprint induced verbal diarrhea! Where does this shit come from?_

"If you phased in the car, you'd certainly hurt me and I can see you're not shaking now, but I need to talk to you, so _pull over_, pup." Bella was getting pissed. It was so hot when she narrowed her eyes and tried to sound vicious. She must have some kind of alpha-like mojo, though because before I had made the conscious decision I had pulled the car off the road to a shaded shoulder and began to climb out. Then I waited. Bella thought with her eyes closed, teeth biting down into her bottom lip. I took advantage of the moment and stared at the freckles scattered across her nose. She got those from her mom. Her cheekbones were high, though, and now that we knew about her ancestry I could easily identify it as a Quileute trait that had held strong throughout the generations. Bella's question startled me out of my gawking.

"Why did you say that, Seth?" she questioned. I had no idea what she was talking about and she must have gathered as much by my blank stare. "In the car. Why did you say that about me spending money that's not mine or how I don't have an endless supply or whatever? What made you say that?" Bella's look was one that took me a minute to gauge. I'd thought she was livid, but really she was scared and…._embarrassed_?

"Why do you look embarrassed? What's wrong? You know you can talk to me, Bella." Great. This is the part where I find out she'd embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars from Newton's Outfitters throughout her high school career.

"You're not going to like it, Seth. I mean_, I_ don't like it. But there's nothing I can do about it, so I make the best of it. It's not like it's my fault." Bella was pacing, talking more to herself than me at this point.

"You're rambling, Bella." I grabbed her shoulder to stop her frantic movement. Plus, it calmed both of us when I touched her whether she realized it or not. Bella took a deep cleansing breath and her eyes looked up to meet mine.

"I have an endless supply of someone else's money to spend as irresponsibly as I want." Bella word vomited. I didn't get it. I'm pretty sure I looked as clueless as I felt right then. Bella waited. And waited. And then the gears in my head started to grind and whir.

"What exactly do you mean, endless supply of someone else's money?"

"You have to understand, Seth, I didn't know at first what happened. One day when I checked my bank balance and it was five thousand over what it should have been. So I went to the bank to tell them about the error. And they assured me that there was no error. I had them double check. Then they just smiled at me and told me I must be a lucky girl, and not to spend it all in one place." Here Bella took a huge, shuddering breath. "So I left it there. Because it wasn't mine. And I figured that at some point the bank would realize there was some kind of computer error and that if I didn't spend it, I would be able to give it back easily when they realized the mistake."

I nodded here, because it was probably the same thing I would do. Sure, for about five minutes I'd want to take the money and run – buy a bunch of great surf gear or whatever, but I knew that in reality at some point I'd get found out and have to pay the money back, so of course I wouldn't have spent it. Bella and I were so much alike in a lot of ways.

"So when I checked my bank balance the next week to see if they'd figured out their mistake, there was ten thousand dollars. And idiot that I am, I went back to the bank to complain again." Bella rolled her eyes. "They looked at me like I was crazy. Again. Somehow they could not see that it was strange for me to have ten thousand mystery dollars show up in my account with no record of the transaction. One day it was five thousand over, the next it was ten. So I left it again. And when I went back to the bank the next week…. " She looked up at me with a wry smile. "Well, you can imagine what happened." I nodded back. "So that was the last week I went back to the bank."

"When was that?" I was wondering how long that fifteen grand had been sitting there waiting to be spent.

"Over three years ago. I was headed home after that last humiliating bank visit and that's when it hit me. Like a lightning bolt because I'm a fucking idiot," she shouted, getting excited. Bella rarely used the F word. "Who has more money that the U.S. fucking government? Who could afford to drop money like that on me? The fucking Cullens! They were buying me off like some kind of cheap whore! They were buying my silence or paying reparations or some bullshit!"

I didn't want to disagree outright, but it seemed to me like a computer error was more likely than Bella's former vampire family giving her a fifteen grand payoff after they dropped her like acid. I mean, they hadn't been heard from for years. They told her to forget about them. Why give a random sum like that?

"Bella, sweetie, if the Cullens wanted to disappear, if they took away all the mementos you had of them, why would they give you fifteen thousand dollars?" Yeah, she'd told me about that, about them stealing all her pictures, all the physical evidence that they'd ever existed. Fuckers.

Bella looked up at me with a furrowed brow. "No, hon -that was the first three weeks. It's five thousand a _week._ Every week." Holy shit! Five thousand a week every week for over three years… that's like…. My mind was busy crunching numbers…..

"Holy shit, Bella! That's a fuckton of money!"

"Well, actually sometimes it's been more than five thousand. It took me a while to figure out the game."

"Game?" These bloodsuckers get weirder and weirder.

"If I didn't spend any of the money, the amount in my account would double. If I spent most of the five thousand, then I'd only get the regular five thousand dollar deposit the next week. If I gave the money to the Salvation Army or St. Jude's or something, my account balance would double again."

Mind games. Some kind of fucked up mind games these leeches were playing.

"So then I figured it out. If I spent money on myself, they'd give me less of it. If I used it for charity or gave it away or anything, they gave me more. If I didn't spend anything, they gave me more, too. That's the other reason I know the money is from _them_." Bella spat out the pronoun. "Besides the fact that no one else has that kind of money to give, it's just like them to give a gift and then control exactly how it was used. I mean, they know I hate being given gifts to begin with, expensive gifts are the worst, and this cash just feels….. dirty."

Here's where I had to argue. "This still doesn't make sense to me, Bella. How would the leeches know what you were doing with the money once they gave it to you"

Bella looked at me like I was simple and replied with a shrug, "Alice."

"Is that some type of tracking device?" I asked dumbly.

Bella rubbed the heel of her hands in her eyes. "No. Alice. _Alice Cullen_." Now Bella sounded exhausted. "Didn't I ever tell you about her?" I shook my head. Bella barely talked about the leeches, ever. When she did, she never mentioned specifics like individual names. It was always "they" or "them".

"Oh. Um. Alice sees the future." Bella looked down, saying this quietly, detached.

"She sees the future? They have super powers on top of being crazy ass fast, strong and nearly impossible to destroy? Fuck my life! Does the pack know this?" My mind automatically went wolf here, thinking off all the possible information we

When I glanced at Bella she looked up sheepishly, embarrassed all over again. "And Edward can read everyone's thoughts he ever met except for me." That last sentence was said so fast and low I thought it was all one word. " I'm sorry I didn't think to tell you guys. I'm just so so sorry. I just…. " she blew a gust of hair out of her nearly closed lips sending all the stray hairs dangling in her face flying wildly "I just never think of them as a threat… as the enemy. Even now." She didn't have to say "after all these years" because we both thought it. Her loyalty after such a grievous injury and through the passing of all that time seemed undeserved and misplaced, but also totally Bella. I couldn't be mad about her not telling us the leeches have extra powers. She honestly didn't think of them like that. But now my head was going in a different direction.

"Bella, if you have all that money, what are you spending it on? I mean…. You don't look like you've got a lot of money. You still drive your crappy old truck and wear the same kinds of clothes and…. Well… what do you do with it?" I was honestly curious because the Bella I knew hadn't changed into a designer clotheshorse overnight or turned up in a new car. Isn't that what people did when they came into money?

"Well that's the rub, isn't it? It's not like I can even spend the money. My best friends are the pack: the natural enemies of the Cullens. They would see me as a traitor for accepting the money… even though there isn't a way of getting rid of it. I know they'd hate me for it. They'd be calling me a leech-lover all over again if they knew." Bella sniffed a little here and I could see she was upset, frustrated. "I tried, you know. To get rid of it." She met my eyes then, her own filling up against her best efforts. "I didn't want their money. That first month I withdrew it all. It was December. I went around to all the Salvation Army ringers stuffing wads of cash in those red metal jars. I thought I was so clever." She chuckled in a self-depreciating way, through her anger and unwanted tears. "It felt so good to be rid of it…. And then the next time I went to the ATM, that twenty thousand in my account had turned into forty. I'll never be rid of it… be rid of them. They left me behind, they took away all my pictures, my memories, but then they did this and made it so I'll never be able to forget them."

Bella was right. For such a generous gift, it was also pretty fucked up. "So what do you spend it on?" I asked more quietly. The thrill of the endless cash flow had dimmed already now that I understood what it meant for Bella emotionally.

"Tuition, getting stuff set up for the bakery, clothes, books. I buy lots of books. Then I donate the ones I've read. The Forks library has grown considerably." Here Bella smiled. I loved that smile. "I get my hair cut professionally now. It doesn't look very different, but I get it done every few weeks. Ummm… I might sometimes buy extra stuff that I see that people might need and…. Umm give it to them. " Bella was stammering, staring at the ground as she kicked it with the toe of her worn out Chuck Taylors.

"What kind of extra stuff?"

"Ummm food or shorts or shoes."

"You mean the stuff that werewolves usually need?" I asked, appraising her like for the first time.

"Yeah. Stuff like that." Bella still wouldn't look up.

"How do you do it? I know the pack wouldn't take charity. How do you give them stuff?" I was curious, beyond curious at how she was pulling this off.

"Sometimes I hang extra shorts on the clotheslines around the rez. Or I just throw down extra stuff where I know you guys put yours. It's all fairly communal, so it's not so hard as long as I don't put too much new stuff in at once. Plus I try and make it look a little old. You know that set of lockers in the back of the shed at Sam and Emily's? Where you keep your extra clothes just in case? Yeah. Those weren't from the council. I bought them and um… I fill the lockers with clothes and …I stock Billy's fridge and cabinets fairly often. I tell him Emily sent it, usually. Or Sue. Or I go do it when no one's home and I don't have to say anything at all. The Pack gets to it pretty quickly there. And our cabinets at home…well, your home. I guess I mostly live in the apartment now."Bella was still unable to meet my gaze. I realized she was afraid- afraid I would learn what she had done and reject her. Little did she know, I was completely incapable of doing that.

"Bella." I grabbed at the loose fabric of her shirt that rested on her shoulder and shook it a little. "Bella. It's okay." She looked up, a little surprised. "I get it now. I get why you couldn't tell anyone. Why you didn't want anyone to know. I understand why you don't want anything to do with the money. Really. You're doing the best you can with it. I mean… you tried to give it all away. " My mind ran over the information she'd given me. I thought about how I or anyone else I knew might deal with being given that kind of money. I thought of all the things we'd do with it. And then I thought of who was giving the money and really started to appreciate the shit sandwich that was Bella's lunch here, and shook my head in amazement of the woman in front of me. "You're still giving it away. As much as you can… without anyone noticing it." Bella gave me a grateful smile, exhaling noisily as if my approval was significant. "So… yeah…um one question about the money" I began, sounding more serious than I should.

Bella looked up at me in nervous anticipation.

"Now that I know you're rolling in the dough, you think when we switch our tickets to head to Phoenix you can spring for first class?" Bella let out a relieved giggle and smacked me on the chest.

"Seth!" she exclaimed, attempting to sound exasperated but really she was trying to hold back laughter.

"What? I'm a 6ft 4inch werewolf who takes up a seat and a half in coach and just found out you're my secret sugar momma… pleeeeease pleeeeeease for the love of all that is furry…. Upgrade the damn tickets!"

By now Bella was cackling with laughter. Probably her relief at having finally shared her secret was adding to her feeling of mirth. "You are horrible, horrible Seth Clearwater, but you crack me up. You always know just what to say." The last part Bella said quieter, almost to herself. I decided to go with it, keep the mood up as we climbed into the car and headed back to Bella's mom's to get our stuff.

"Of course I always know what to say to you, I know you better than anyone. That's why you love me so much, you know?" I gave Bella a huge, teasing grin to show her I was joking but couldn't help noticing how her fingers fumbled to get the correct key in the ignition. Her earlier smile was frozen on her face but her eyes looked panicked.

_Great!_ _What now?_


	21. Chapter 21

Seth Ch 21

The great thing about Bella… one of the many great things, is that she's a low maintenance chick. Her bags were packed in about ten minutes. All her toiletries and shoes and everything fit in one medium-sized duffel bag, and within 30 minutes we were in a cab headed back to the airport. That girl is efficient and then some. And she decided to spring for first class which I had half joked about, but now that I knew that she had all that money I guess she figured why not? And boy was it niiiiiiccce. I drank orange juice out of real crystal and sat back and stretched my legs. Like really stretched. And that ain't easy when you're as big as I am.

From there it was more simple than I had imagined. Landing in the Phoenix airport, renting a truck (I didn't realize you could rent a truck. I thought it was all Ford Tauruses and Dodge Stratuses.) And of course we needed to get one of those trailers to hitch out on the back, but really it was easy to find the storage unit and load up all the stuff Bella wanted out of the space and get on the road. All those small details seemed to come together flawlessly under Bella's lead. She was unbelievable. I could see how independent and capable she was and it made me love her all the more. But what I really wanted… what I was really finally getting was Bella and time. Time on the road to spend doing whatever we wanted without having to worry about our parents or the pack. And for once in my freakish supernaturally affected life I was getting exactly what I wanted.

We got on the highway and were both feeling the buzz of excitement; the promise of the unknown, the thrill of the open road. Grinning and jittery Bella glanced over at me from the driver's seat, " so what's the plan, Stan? How do you want to handle this? What's your road trip style? Are you a "map-reader" planning out your stops and hotels or are you more of a "drive till you feel like stopping, do what comes to you" kind of guy?"

"Well actually, I've never been on a road trip" I offered, lamely.

"What?" Bella screeched.

"I've never been on a road trip. I've always sorta been stuck in the area around the Rez and maybe up to Seattle and stuff." I clarified. Honestly it was a little embarrassing. I mean, Bella had travelled to Washington from Arizona on a plane by herself numerous times as a kid. Here I was just having my first airplane flight as an 18 year old. I glanced over at Bella in her seat behind the wheel only to find her turning her gaze quickly away from me and back toward the road.

"Well… that's awesome, then. I get to be your first, then," Bella said. Then , suddenly embarrassed, she looked at me. "You know what I mean, _with you_ for your first… oh shit." She blushed. I loved to see her blush and fumble. I loved to see her fumble over me even more, but I knew her and I let it go. Damn, who was I kidding? I was blushing right along with her and I'm a damned werewolf.

"Well I've been on tons of road trips. My mom dragged me all over the dessert on 'spiritual retreats' and yoga workshops and sculpture clinics and whatever other crackpot idea popped into her head. Of course it was all very spontaneous and unplanned and spur of the moment, so we would miss our last chance to buy snacks for 100 miles or end up sleeping in the car because there was no hotel in sight. Basically, I'm pretty flexible. But food on the road is a priority, I know so let's stop at the next gas station to fill up on gas and food and whatever else we need."

I couldn't argue with food. Or a map which was the other thing Bella decided to buy. Yeah, we had a GPS, but those things don't always work when you need them to, and they're not exactly easy to use if you're not positive where you're headed. Amazingly, though, once we got into the truck we just drove. And drove and drove. I had no idea how long some of these dessert highways were or how empty. Bella drove with a look of fondness as she gazed out over the barely changing landscape. I wondered at how she could find beauty in so much desolation and began to mimic her, searching out the source of Bella's affection. As I stared, I noticed that what had seemed monotonous was just changing more subtly. Rather than the stark contrasts of old forests that I was accustomed to, with changing planes and rolling hills, Bella's dessert landscape was all about subtle changes of light, the gradual rise or fall of the earth across the horizon as we sped past with the sun finally setting toward the west. And then, breaking into my view and my cheesy musings was a run-down building in the distance that Bella confirmed was probably the only hotel we'd come across for the next 7 hours. Of course I agreed that it was probably a good idea for us to stop there. And then I spent the next 30 minutes with a knot in my stomach at the prospect of spending the night in a motel with Bella. Stupid, I know. I'd spent the night with her before, hell, I'd shared a bed with her before. A motel seemed different somehow. Uncertain; maybe a little…risky.

Bella headed in with her magical credit card and reserved us a room. I grabbed up the bags and made sure Bella's stuff was tied down to the trailer well enough that it didn't look worth the effort of trying to steal it. Really, it was old stuff and we were in the middle of nowhere. No one was going to steal this crap, but it's better to be thorough.

Bella came out of the office with a big grin and held up a keychain and jangled it at me. "Lucky number seven, Baby!"

I just shook my head and laughed. Bella was a woman of many moods.

The hotel room looked…. Like a cheap hotel room. It was decently clean but so badly in need of renovations that it still felt grimy. The comforter was one of those shiny, scratchy things that looks like it was sewn with fishing line. And yeah, there was one comforter; for one bed; to be shared by one giant werewolf and his unknowing imprint/soon-to-be stepsister. Crap. I had to tell her soon. Things were just going to get weirder.

"So I'm going to shower," I called out and headed to the bathroom. To escape. Because I am a coward. But I'm not a liar, so I turn on the water and get myself cleaned up. When I come out, Bella has just returned from the check in area where she has micro-waved us some kind of giant bowls of ramen noodles. Thank the spirits, because I was fungry.

So… soup and grainy HBO in a motel bed was an odd way to spend a Tuesday night with Bella but it could have been worse. By the time our movie ended, Bella was snoring softly and I managed to pull the sheet up over us both. I guess the flight and furniture moving and hours of driving had worn her out. I was pretty exhausted myself, so I laid my head on the pillow partially covered by Bella's hair and fell asleep almost instantly with the smell of honeysuckle and sunshine in my nostrils.

And then what felt like five minutes later I woke up covered in sweat to the sound of a terrified Bella yelling for me to wake up. You could say I was disoriented. The clock was glaring a number that started with a 2, but Bella's voice had me in panic mode as did the fact that she was yelling from the farthest corner of the room.

"Wake up, Seth! You have to get out! Get outside now!" She yelled.

"What?"

"Seth, you're shaking! Shaking bad! I think you're gonna phase and this room is too small, you've got to get out of here now!"

And of course she was right. Bella had been with the pack long enough to know the signs which included shaking. But really it was the kind of shaking that was the signature; the full body, fever-like shakes that loosened our joints and heated our cores, preparing our human form for the shift. That's what I was feeling, so I did what Bella said. With my hand shaking so bad it took three tries for me to grip the door knob in order to turn it. I barely made it outside in time.

As the final, flesh-shredding tremors racked through my body, my back leg kicked against the door, rattling it in its hinges. I scanned the area quickly, searching for any observer or innocent passerby that might spot me. There was no one, but I figured it would be better to head toward the back of the motel just in case the owner of the motel decided to look out the window. My mind was racing, enjoying quiet it had never had before while in wolf form. The shared mind must have a limit based on physical distance. That would be good to remember. Meanwhile I was freaking out a bit. I had never ever phased or nearly phased in my sleep before. Then again, I'd never gone 3 days without phasing, either. Maybe our bodies are compelled to phase. Like maybe there's an imperative or something that no one had ever discovered because once you start phasing you just do it all the time. Now it was all bottled up and bursting out. Like a shaken bottle of coke. Like the friggin Incredible Hulk or something. I felt jittery, ultra-alert…so why was I so caught off-guard when I saw Edward Cullen standing next to the dumpster?

The wolf in me snarled, bared teeth, crouched low. My human mind was racing through questions so fast they weren't fully formed before the next one began. Like water boiling, pop, pop, pop. Edward stood, with the complete stillness that marks his kind, and watched. Or maybe _listened_, I had forgotten that part for a minute.

"She had disappeared," he said in a voice that my wolf ears registered as too bell like to be human. He was picking questions right out of my head and answering. "Or rather, her future had disappeared. Four days ago. Saturday. One of my family has a talent, an ability. She has used this ability to keep tabs on Bella off and on since our departure. Where her vision had once been clear it became less so. We had assumed it was due to Bella no longer being so tied into our futures, yet she would catch glimpses seemingly at random. Bella at college, Bella in her truck." On the word "truck" the masklike face shifted almost imperceptibly. I didn't understand the connection there and wondered if it had something to do with Jacob and the way he had been so connected to Bella through that truck.

"You are not Jacob." Edward's voice was curiously measured. The slight inflection gave away his surprise and I couldn't help the laughing yelp that escaped my muzzle. People don't generally think their own names I suppose. "I knew what Jacob was- is. I knew that they were friends. I didn't realize there were more of you, that she knew all of you." I watched his face as he scanned my mind, my memories. "Alice has seen none of this. None of it. I wonder…." I cocked my head to the side waiting for him to finish. "I wonder if she cannot see the wolves. If something about you blocks her powers. It would be an interesting defense mechanism." All of this was interesting, but it didn't answer my fundamental question. Why was he here? "I needed to be sure Bella was alright. She is so accident prone, and I worry about her safety." Her safety? Why the hell would he worry about her safety? He left her. In the woods. With that psychopathic red head vamp after her. She shut down completely, lost herself, was spoon fed back to safety by that ass-hat Jacob until… until…. Shit. I thought it. _Imprint_. Aw hell.

I had been watching his face as he listened to my mind, as he watched my memory flit from image to image as I had lived it, both through my own eyes and the eyes of other pack members. What I saw in his expression was shock, surprise, shame. Well, what did he expect after what he told her. My mind replayed overhearing Edward and Bella's last conversation as she recounted it to Victoria: bloodied and crying, utterly broken. Edward gasped. He visibly gulped and doubled over. If he were human… and he was so _not _a human, I would have thought he was going to puke. As it was, he was pretty much dry-heaving. I guess this was what happened when vamps cried. It was sort of… pathetic.

"I am pathetic. I am a pathetic wretched creature. I loved Bella. I loved her and I couldn't bear the thought of turning her. I didn't want her to lose her chances, her humanity. Her scent. Yes, that was part of it. I figured she would just move past this and forget, like humans are wont to do." Of course. Human feelings couldn't possibly be strong or lasting or important like vampire feelings. Way to discount Bella. Why did everyone seem to do that?

"You don't do that, do you, Seth?"

No. Bella's feelings are pretty much what make me tick. She makes me tick.

"_Imprint_. You thought the word before, but I hadn't understood the context. Now it's becoming clear. Yes. Now I see it completely. And do you make Bella tick as well? Oh. I see. Bella isn't aware of the imprint. Now who is discounting her feelings?" Edward asked with a smile that seemed sinister to me, but then again he is my mortal enemy as well as my imprint's ex-boyfriend. Sinister is just par for the course.

I was trying to figure out if he was deciding whether or not to try and eat me when he made a disgusted face. I couldn't figure out where the conversation was going, whether he was planning to leave, to talk to Bella (At this thought Edward flinched), but of course that was when Bella decided to walk around the corner of the building. Shit.


	22. Chapter 22

Oh crap oh crap oh crap. Bella was just standing there, like she was comatose or in shock or something. And Edward von Creepenstein was leering at her with what he thought was an innocent expression- all grinning and wide-eyed, but I could spot the predator behind his smile. Whatever the hell he did, I hoped he would at least keep his mouth shut about the imprint, though that didn't seem quite likely. I saw his smile broaden as he listened to my mental freak-out. Shit. What I needed to do was phase back human so I could do damage control. I focused my energy, thought calming thoughts, and…. And that asshole took a step toward my emotionally frozen imprint. Crap. There was no way my wolf was going to let me phase human with my natural enemy this close to my mate. I was trapped. And Edward was still looking at Bella like she was something to eat… which of course is exactly what she is to him. And Bella. Bella was just staring, dumbfounded at Edward's perfect sparkly face. Man how I wanted to rip that sparkly face off.

Come on! Could this really be happening? I glanced from Bella to Edward and back again. She stared at him with such a blank expression I wondered if he were pulling her back to him somehow, if this was all it would take for her to go running back to "her vampire family" as she had referred to them. The pack had sometimes wondered what would happen if the Cullens ever returned to Forks; whether Bella would remain with us or if she would get sucked back into her old life. Leah had been the most cruel about it. "Once a vamp-whore, always a vamp-whore. Isn't that the saying?" Jacob had attacked her for it at the time so I hadn't bothered to try and run her down, but now I was beginning to wonder. If he said the word, would she go running? Back to them? Away from me? While I was trapped in this fucking fur suit and couldn't do shit about it? Come on!

"Bella." Edward's voice grated at my wolf ears, too high, too sharp. Bella just kept staring. "Bella, my love… you look positively statue-like. So beautiful and pale, so radiant. I can imagine you are experiencing quite a shock. Your heartbeat sounds like an army of butterfly wings, my dear. It's okay. Calm down. I'm right here for you."

My legs began to shake as Bella took two slow steps toward Edward, her arm reaching out as if to caress his face. I couldn't help it: a low whine involuntarily escaped my muzzle, a warning, a pathetic sound to my own ears. Bella spared me a glance and then returned her gaze to him, she only had eyes for him and I felt like I was dying. Physical pain began to rip through my body as I watched her move closer to the vampire. Her hand finally reached his face and she grazing his cheekbone with crushing familiarity. "Am I dreaming?" Bella wondered aloud in a small voice, almost as if to herself. "I have got to be dreaming. " My heart sank. This is what she dreamed about? About him? After all this time? "You look just the same," she mused. "After all this time, you haven't changed a bit, have you?"

"No, Bella. You're not dreaming. I really am here. Finally I am here, and I haven't changed at all, Love. I never will." His voice was sing-song and soothing.

"Yep. That's exactly what I thought, you ass-hat." Bella replied flatly, and slapped Edward across his stone face. And just like that my Bella was back. And she was pissed. And funny as hell. Damn, she probably cracked a few bones in her hand with that one, but knowing her, she'd say it was well worth it. I tried to bite back a wolfy laugh, but failed as my nervous energy got the better of me.

"Bella, my dear," Edward's face was frozen in a mask of horror "What has happened to you? The Bella I loved would have never used such language or stooped to the use of physical violence. Is it because you have been living with these creatures? I must say, Bella I had worried about how your scent would affect me after being away from you for so long, but I find it very much altered, indeed. Your scent is quite like these dogs who you insist on befriending with such absurd regularity and complete disregard for your own safety."

"What happened to me?", Bella fumed. "What happened to me was I grew up! The 'Bella you loved' was a person who never existed. The person who was so afraid to say anything for fear of falling short of your unattainable expectations, the person who blindly followed, who constantly allowed herself to be talked into what she didn't want and out of what was most important, that Bella grew up. And I'm what is left. Just this." Bella shrieked, arms out, gesturing toward herself.

"And the fact that you feel that you have the right to comment on how I smell… that just …did no one ever teach you any manners? You are exactly like a seventeen year old boy! Maybe you are a hundred year old seventeen year old boy, but you are still just a boy."

"Bella, my dear. I know that it might seem like these years make a difference to you right now, but I assure you, once you are back with our family, once you have become like us you will see how these few years we have been apart really are nothing, they mean nothing at all. "

Bella stepped back, looking at Edward in a completely new light. "You want me to come back with you? Back to the family?"

"Of course, my Bella. Of course. That's why I came all this way. You don't belong in an establishment like this, sharing rooms with a dangerous creature like the one before us. Your life should be with me. I can give you everything, anything you could ask for."

And he was right. He could. I'd seen the bank account of money he'd given to her already. That was just petty cash.

Bella looked up at him with an unreadable expression. "Everything I could ask for, but nothing I wanted. You could give me anything I could ask for, but I never wanted any of it, and what I did ask you for, those few things, you denied me and shamed me for wanting in the first place."

"Really, Bella! I wanted to give you things, beautiful things! I wanted you to have clothes that suited you, a car that was safe and lovely, I want you to have a beautiful life, a home that.."

"-I have a home, Edward! I have a home! And I didn't want your expensive clothes and fast cars, but you couldn't understand what I wanted!"

"Yes, I know very well what you wanted. You wanted sexual satisfaction, and you couldn't comprehend why I was unwilling to sully your reputation because of the immoral times in which you live." Edward's face was tight and controlled, but the look of disgust on his face was impossible to miss.

"Sexual satisfaction? Damn, Edward! What do you think of me? I was looking for physical affection and you made me out to be a whore…. A view that has clearly not changed much. Believe it or not, you can be affectionate without 'fornicating' as you loved to put it."

"I'll have to take your word for it, Bella, as you seem to now be the expert on such matters," Edward sneered.

"Holy crap, Edward! What did you expect? You left me. You LEFT ME! You told me you never loved me, that I should live my life… did you expect me to live a life of chastity I never believed in to satisfy the memory of a boy who never loved me?" Bella was shaking her head, disbelief clear on her face. I could understand that. The vamp had some nerve.

"Bella, I never stopped loving you. You must believe me, my love, you must! When I spoke those words to you, it was the blackest of lies. It hurt to see just how easily you could believe that lie when I had uttered the true words of my love so many times before. Just the one lie was so much easier for you to swallow than the truth. I wanted you to live life. Without me, without the supernatural element haunting your every step. I see now that I was wrong to ever leave you, that you've gone and associated yourself with the very worst type of monsters. You must come with me Bella, I beg you. I beg you to let me make everything right."

"You left me_… because you love me_? And you _still_ love me? Wow. Wow. That just….. sucks for you. I mean, you never change, right? And when we were together, when I was begging you to change me, I would have been frozen in time forever in love with you. But you wouldn't listen to me. You completely disregarded my feelings, my opinions. I was just a human. I couldn't possibly know what was best, right? Well… now I _have _grown, and changed. I have a new family. And apparently a disgusting new scent to go with it. It looks like you really blew it, Edward. I mean, I'm sorry. It sucks to think that you are stuck being in love with a girl who no longer exists, but that was your choice, and you have no one to blame for it but yourself."

Finally, Bella turned and walked toward me, burying her hands in the scruff around my neck. "Come on, Seth. I'm exhausted. And apparently I stink, so maybe I'll go grab a quick shower before bed." And just like that, Bella turned her back on Edward and walked away. I enjoyed her hands buried in my fur too much to let her walk away from me, so I followed along like the hopelessly lost puppy that I am. I did spare a glance over my shoulder for Edward, but all I saw was a slightly silvered blur in the moonlight heading away toward the dessert. Just like that he was gone. Hopefully this time he would stay that way.

Bella led me back into the motel room and headed for the shower, Meanwhile I phased back human and dug out some non-shredded clothing to wear. I was too jazzed from the crazy events of tonight to go to sleep yet and figured Bella was probably just as wired. As she came out of the bathroom all steamy damp dressed in fresh PJ's she yawned and climbed onto the bed next to me.

"That was some weird shit, tonight Seth."

I laughed at her simple understatement. "You think so?"

"I guess we know why you were sleep-phasing, now. That's good. I was worried it was like a wolfy equivalent of a wet dream or something gross like that," Bella said, doubling over with laughter. "Like maybe you were dreaming there was a deer running through the woods and you just couldn't wait to sink your teeth into it." There were tears sliding down her face now. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just feeling a little punchy. You know. Stress, lack of sleep, unexpected sighting of undead ex-boyfriend." Bella started cackling again. She was so goofy when she got like this.

"You know what was really weird, though Seth?" Bella asked, becoming serious again. I couldn't imagine what in this situation wasn't weird and said as much.

"Was there one bit of weirdness that stuck out to you more than the just regular weirdness of the night?"

Bella hit me with a pillow, which I grabbed from her hand and stuffed behind my back after flashing a big grin.

"You know that thing Edward said, about how I smell bad?"

"Bella, you do not smell bad. You smell fantastic. You smell just as great as you always have. You just happen to hang out with a lot of werewolves." I jumped in to reassure her before she could start to worry about something crazy. But of course, Bella surprised me like Bella always seemed to.

"Well, the weird thing is, Jacob said something really similar to me not to long ago. It just seems odd because I would have thought it was just from hanging around you guys too, but then why would Jacob notice?"

"I don't know, Bella. What did he say?" Shit shit shit shit…. I knew where this was headed…

"He said I smelled kind of like a wolf, but not like a real full wolf. And not like wolf scent rubbing off on my clothes from our laundry in the same hamper or something. He said it smelled almost like I was mated to him or something, but that he couldn't really get why that would be because that's usually just something that happens with imprints… That their natural scent changes somewhat to attract both the wolf and the man. And I'm obviously not Jacob's imprint" She looked up at me then, brown eyes all wide and confused. And beautiful. No, she was sooo not Jacob's imprint, I thought as I stared back at her questioning face.

"Obviously." I answered


End file.
